Not So Progressive

I have been congratulating myself on my new found openness about my pregnancy. I answer questions easily and fluently. I let people (the ones I know and trust) touch my belly when they ask. I even offer it up to them. And what's more, I actually open up to people and offer updates about my little boy. I learned the other night though that I shouldn't have been so self-congratulatory. It must have just been that I have been surrounded lately by people with whom I've grown comfortable and trusting. Hub and I attended his annual work Christmas party recently, and it did not go that way at all. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed myself very much. But I was very uncomfortable and sometimes even prickly when people came to chat lightly about the baby. I still don't know exactly why this happens, but it seems to be similar reasons to what it was before. There were a very few people who offered up help or genuine reactions with whom I didn't mind chatting about it as much. Then most of the others talked to me about him as if we were discussing the weather. And sometimes I felt this maternal urge that closely approximated the "MINE!" toddler response. What the heck? I'm sure part of it is also my continuing discomfort at being in the center of anyone's attention unless I know them very very well. In THAT case, turn on the spotlight! Yup. That's me - bundle of contradictions and exceptions.