My Favorite Christmas Shopping Discovery

Here it is.
So cool. Yes it works. And they even make a size you can carry in your pocket. Great for work.

The AMA Birthday

Tomorrow I will be 35. And I'm so tired still from our trip that I'm feeling every one of those years.  It's been cause for a lot of reflection lately though... this 35 thing; this advanced maternal age starting block. If you've read, you already know we don't plan on having a second biological child and all the reasons for that. However, we are now facing down our original cut off point for trying for a first. We had planned to at least not use protection until I turned 35, whether we had already adopted or not. Then, for reasons of our own, we decided we would begin some sort of birth control. If there was no pregnancy by 35, there would be none. 

I still feel that way, but it's very odd to be here at this major point in our lives. Would we have kept "trying" if there was no E? I don't think so. I was already so done with IF that I can't imagine either one of us would want to continue. At the same time though, it's disconcerting to know that that decision is rapidly being taken from us by nature in any case. Of course I could still conceive possibly into my 40's. But we know the stats, and we can't deny that they add a layer of complication to an already densely packed shit pie. 

It's just weird to face my own mortality and even more so at this point, the mortality of my childbearing years. Happy birthday to me!

Don't mistake this post as a morose one though. It's merely one of my many dark musings. I'm actually very happy our lives turned out happily for us, and I'm very excited to celebrate tomorrow. My son and Hub are awesome, and I was greeted at the door by a tremendously excited child. "Hey Mama! I have a SUPWISE for you!! WAIT RIGHT HERE!" Hub had taken E to get me some agave nectar, gluten free cupcakes (DELICIOUSNESS) as my birthday treat for tomorrow. He told E it was a surprise, and apparently E could not wait! So I got to eat a cupcake tonight. I think it was worth it. 

The Case of the Strawberries

So.... well... I wanted to show you my "genius" idea for my strawberry plants. So I took a picture. But then I rethought sharing with you my "genius" idea. Why you ask? Well, nothing big really... other than the fact that the plants growing in the photo are not strawberries. Yeah. It wouldn't come as much of a shock if you knew my history (as some of you may) with growing things (or not growing them as the case may be.) 

I bought this root ball kit thing at Lowe's. It was "guaranteed" to grow. And in just the right time after I planted it, something did grow! And they resembled baby strawberry plants, so I stopped there and got all excited. Then more things grew; except that the more things didn't look like the previous things. Then none of them had leaves that really looked like any strawberry plants I knew. And they kept getting taller... too much taller. And they smelled funny. So I stared at them and stared at photos of various types of strawberry plants; willing them to be good. But it was no good. They were weeds hiding in the bag or blown in from the yard or whatever.

So without further adieu, here is my grand idea of growing my strawberries in an old pet cage. I bought some fabulous mesh to put around the outside to further discourage raiding pests. I figured that was such a good idea. Also in this photo are the buzz kills - the non strawberries. Enjoy. I will be buying full fledged plants online in the Fall planting season. I will also be following directions exactly, growing them with companion plants and buying only the ones that are good for Florida. 

Wish us all luck.

Big Day

Today I'm like one of those people on a Dateline special. Today I head downtown for a meeting sponsored by (one of my) mortgage companies to learn about possibilities of adjusting our mortgage. We received an invitation in the mail along with instructions on what to bring. I'm hoping that, like the special said, meeting in person with them will be far more effective than my hours on the phone being transferred from person to person. I know people often think we're idiots for being fooled into a balloon loan at 9.5% for our down payment part of the mortgage. But I'm here to tell you that it was pretty darn easy for a broker to pull a bait and switch that was supremely difficult to pull out of... especially for new home buyers with no lawyer (upon recommendation from trusted individuals). 


In any case, let's hope something good comes of it! In addition, I head to Endo today to see where we are. After 3 months of normal cycles, my body has fallen back off the wagon. I will also see how my blood lipid levels are going. I'm a tad afeared because I was horrible with my eating right before the draw. And when I say I'm ashamed of that, it's only because I know my body can't handle it, yet I do it anyway. My body can't handle much more than a smidgen of cheating, but I so love food. 


Lots of luck needed today! Send some my way!

My Generation

I stumbled on this article on one of those social media sites we're always moaning about. And I liked it. It's a bit dark and negative for my viewpoint... and I also feel like he is characterizing all of us under a behavior style we didn't all have, but I like this take on generation X and this upcoming generation all the same. Read it, and tell me what you think of it.

5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation

Vacation Hangover

Coming down and recovering from a vacation of any sort is always a challenge. It's doubly a challenge when you've spent most of it zipping madly back and forth between family members and activities, and workdays flank leave and return time like bookends.

BUT we're returning to normal. We had a fabulous time in beautiful Canada. E enjoyed his cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents very much. William Shatner was seen, maple "weafs" were pointed out repeatedly, art was perused, and wildlife was investigated (bugs are fascinating.) Sleep has also returned to the house thanks to the emergence of one, nasty, stubborn canine. Hallelujah! There are only 3 more to go!

It's always a struggle for me to balance an exciting, busy time with the need to blog. I have such mixed feelings about it. I love when our lives are so full, yet that means when I have the extra time to write, I usually need it to decompress or hell, just sleep instead. That makes me miss blogging. I guess all in all however, that's a pretty awesome conundrum to have.

What about you guys? What things do you drop when you are busy? Would you give up sleep for blogging? Is it the main thing that recharges you?

Next up: we explore some training comments/questions left on the last training post. I want it to be an open forum, so start getting those thinking caps on. I want to do it justice, so it will be done on a day off.

Posting in the Comments

So lately, (as some of you can attest), I've been writing more in your comments sections than in my posts. And I think that some of this material that was prompted by your lovely thoughts should have been used to create my own lovely thoughts here... except that I have been somewhat brain dead and distracted. Therefore, I will share with you just one of those since I particularly liked the original post that spawned it.

Recently, Dresden (yay for a name!) at Creating Motherhood posted asking what you think parenting newsletters should really tell you but don't. This was my contribution:

How, although the whole newborn thing is magical, wonderful, lovely etc, you will also feel like you’ve been hit by a mack truck for a while… and then can’t stop crying that you just didn’t get hit by that truck in the right WAY. You’re a horrible accident victim. And everyone else will tell you how if you had stood just a little to the left, the truck would have creamed you SO MUCH BETTER. OK.. actually, it’s probably easier being hit by a real mack truck.

Tired Mean Mama

Dear people who make prolonged and unnecessary noise outside my son's window after midnight,

Pray you never meet me in a dark alley. (turn the loud jalopy off already!)

Yours,
Tired mama who just got him to sleep and is disturbed by your rudeness herself.

Potty Adventures

We always let the baby run "nakey" after his bath. He was stooping and bending a lot, but I didn't think much of it. We had one little "pee pee" incident before I saw him get into position. The bad news is that one made it to the carpet. The good news is that when I ran him to the potty, he finished going on it!*

*Side note: He's been telling us a lot now when he has to "poo" and almost every time he's "Tinky" or has "Poop dipey." As he said to Hub the other day, "Poop go away!"

Little Stories and Rants

• I tried a variation on Jen's fruit pasta salad for the 4th. Instead of the poppy seed dressing (I was afraid I wouldn't find Brianna's and didn't want to go with another), I used vanilla flavored almond milk (Silk brand). To go along with this change, I did not use hard boiled eggs. I also do not have Jen's aversion to blueberries. Blue happens to be my favorite color and blueberries a perfection of flavor, so I used them instead of cherries. The verdict? Really yummy, sweet and refreshing, but lacking the surprising pop and pizazz of Jen's version. Use mine for less adventurous taste buds, but for a more memorable dish, go with Jen's.
• We got a new car seat (you know.. due to the old one being in a car accident and all). We LOVE it! We originally had the Safety First Complete Air. It was a decent seat. It was really comfortable for E, and it had a lot of great features like the non-rethreading height adjustment. I also like the side impact features. Let's not forget that it only cost me $99. That (along with its high safety ratings) was the biggest sell. This car seat is the step up from that. It's the Safety First Complete Air 65 LX. This design is so much easier to stabilize and recline than the older seat, and it has even more comfort features for the baby like padded straps. I'm also happy to report that the straps buckling him in are even easier to use and detangle. At least one good thing came out of this accident!
• We occasionally allow E a few french fries, and he adores them. He was very hungry the other day, so I got him some in the drive through. When we got to the grocery store, he was still holding onto one. A lady saw him and clucked over my choice of food saying, "That's so bad for him!" Nice. Thanks for judging my parenting on that one visit lady. Wouldn't you like to know how I usually agonize over just the right balance of nutrition for MY baby? Thoughtless. That's my new pet peeve... thoughtlessness.
• In that thoughtless vein - why is it "creepy" for people to breast feed or donate their breast milk, but it's totally cool to drink milk that comes right out of a cow? Let me say that again... milk that COMES OUT OF A COW is not creepy in the slightest while feeding your baby or donating milk to help the survival of hospitalized infants is gross. Sure.
  
• You may notice a rash of posts coming in the next few days. My head has been exploding with thoughts, but we've been busy with a very allergy ridden baby. We often try to err on the side of not medicating him too much when he doesn't seem as bad, but apparently we are misjudging. The poor kid ends up crying hysterically throughout the night with a wheezy rattling chest and what appears to be burning eyes. Hub's one wish was that E not inherit his allergies. I wish he had been granted that.
  

Accident, Sickness, Book and Thoughts Jumble

• Thank you so much for your wonderful responses to my cousin's post. It was so well written and hit such a chord that I couldn't imagine others not getting to read it.
• We are home today as E's fever spiked to a crazy 104.4 last night with medicine, and that was an ear reading. Doctor today said to stay the course.
• I envisioned writing a post about the accident, but I think it's just taken up so much of my time and energy the past few days that I don't want to devote that much thought to it. So you'll get some bullets instead.
• I'm upset that it had to be the "good" car. If Hub's car had been totaled (no a/c, 170,000 miles, lots of rattles) it wouldn't have been such a bad thing. My car is the first "nice" one I've ever had, it's so dependable and lovely, and I got it on such a good deal that I don't think I could find that again. (There's a chance it will be totaled due to the extensive damage to the wheel system in the back.)
• As much as the accident sucked, I felt so horribly for the old man who caused it. (Is that weird?) He seemed wracked with guilt, and his wife wanted to make up to the baby so badly she ran around picking flowers from the roadside for him. She didn't understand that it was the presence of strangers he was upset about and not the accident itself.
• The state trooper joked with E, handed him my driver's license (E loved that as he loves cards), and even gave him a stuffed Nemo.
• That's twice now I've had a great experience with this area's police force whether it be state or county.
• E called Nemo, "GOLGISH! (goldfish)" before promptly throwing him down and asking for his lovey back. He hasn't touched him since.
• I also just got a red light ticket by mail (camera intersection) because I was being a stupid mommy brain. It is another BAD month for finances. They seem to unfairly outweigh the good months.
  
• I just finished reading, Number the Stars by Lois Lowry (recommended by Jen). It's about the Danish resistance to their Nazi occupation and dedication to their Jewish countrymen during World War II as seen through the eyes of a child. It's one of the most wonderful books I've ever read. I will always read Jen's recommendations without hesitation.
  
• We are working on a new five year plan for our lives about which I will definitely need to write when I have the time to formulate the proper thoughts. Stay tuned.
  

Awesome

It's so incredibly awesome that we live in a place where you can be woken up by the giant sonic boom of a space shuttle returning back home on its last mission.... even if you when you awake your eyes are saucers and your heart stuttering with thoughts of nearby explosions. (Baby didn't even stir)

Note: Things are a little busy around here due to some impending trips (and continued teething and growing) you may or may not know anything about.

Headlines

Tsunamis, tornadoes, uprisings, earthquakes, so much devastation to acknowledge lately. I rarely do on this blog because I rarely feel that I have much of worth to add, and this little blog doesn't usually seem the right forum. Then last night the news on Osama Bin Laden came out. It's a strange mix of emotions as an American isn't it? And yes, he's an important figure head who helped inflame many against our country, but we know this is not the end to this particularly awful story.

Sometimes I'm Embarrassed for Us

Good grief. What are we, EIGHT? This does not bode well for our hopes of better IF and womens' issues education in government. Please read on to see just why it's so ridiculous.

Florida Democrat chastized for using word "uterus" on house floor.

Why?

Why is it that when I need the words most, they often aren't there? Why is it that I cry and wail and become verbose over little problems but when something really big happens, I shut down so well much of the time?

I trust that despite this failing, you understand the depth of my love, support and compassion Jen. In fact, perhaps since you know me so well and get this reaction, then you understand more than others.

Just Can't Get Over the Dentist Crap

I've found a fabulous new dentist. And the more I go to him, the more I realize that this guy was just a jerk trying to sell me lots of stuff I didn't need who didn't do his job that well. I have a couple fillings that need some fixing that he did. Ugh.

My Angry Tirade Aside

NOTE: Previous angry rant about specialist from poop story now has its own post. Read on if you dare.

I did not like her. She seemed pleasant enough I guess on the surface... when I met her TWO HOURS AFTER WE ARRIVED. OK, sorry for the caps, but one does not wait happily for that long in a tiny exam room with a one year old who is hungry, very tired and still angry from the FIRST doctor's visit. I was further perturbed by the fact that the whole time we were there, there was only one other patient in the whole office who was rather perturbed herself. Her older children were even less impressed.

I took to wandering the halls with E so he wouldn't get bored and saw the doctor working on the computer. I really hope it was important.

Now, one of my biggest pet peeves is being made to wait or being treated rudely without explanation or apology. Guess what? She breezed into the room without either. Strike 2.

Strike 3 came when she insisted that my son's name was pronounced differently than it is. No, not just pronounced differently, but pronounced differently because she decided that one of the letters in his name HAD to be substituted for a different one. It would be like if you insisted my name was pronounced "BARD" even though it's spelled "BARB." She made it a big point to write it phonetically in the file. OK, fine. I'm glad she wants to remember. But it falls a little flat if after that you wrinkle your nose and say, "Does it mean something?" Yes lady, it means something just like all names do. It's a name. It's an old, common name in some parts of the world. It's a name you yourself have come across in the movies. Wait, you've heard of it? THEN WHY THE CONFUSION?

OK, I admit, by that point I was mostly annoyed by the wait and lack of apology but still. sigh.

The fourth strike (don't worry, there are only 5) was the worst for me. My baby was very tired, very hungry, annoyed, and very done with doctors. If you also remember, he is not a fan of the strangers touching him thing. So you can imagine the shrieking that started when she examined his belly and measured his head. But that tough doctor showed my one year old bully! She berated him for crying in a tone usually reserved for older children who can comprehend scorn. Ooooooohh... not your job lady! And certainly not your job when you are 90% of the reason he has reached this point!

Lastly, she breezed out the door with a "Bye E," but no directions as to where to go to get my scripts and no "closure" for the appointment. If I see her again, I just may trip her.

Operation No More Yucky Poops

So E had creamy white colored stool for about 10 days which started 3 days after his introduction to cow's milk. At first he was constipated. Then on about day 7, he had the grossest BMs I think I've ever experienced (yeah, there's a reason I say "experienced") in my life. And I see poop at work, so this is really saying something. Those continued for a day or two until he had a night of such unrest, hard gassy belly and crying that we became concerned and called the doctor... and the doctor called the nurse, and the nurse called the lady with the alligator pur.... Shit I can't get that saying out of my head this week.

OK, I'll stop wasting your time. So Dr. F. thought it could be milk related, but wanted to be sure because E is still losing weight. He is now in the 75th percentile for height and under the 5th in weight. He LOOKS healthy, so I have my theories on the multiple hiccups that caused this issue. He also began having a constant runny nose and a weird gagging choke and cough that didn't seem to be related to any sickness. Furthermore, we noticed some weird labored breathing going on periodically. But we go on.

Dr. F was concerned something bigger might be going on even though he thought it unlikely, so he referred me to a pediatric gastroenterologist that day.

WARNING: BREAK FROM IMPORTANT ISSUE TO COMPLAIN (Read at own risk)
**I was going to post the next story within this one, but it got too long and involved. You can find it here if you are interested in my self righteous indignation. I'm quite good at at that.**

In any case, despite the fact that we reiterated our observations that it only occurs around milk and gets better when he hasn't had milk, she thought it had nothing to do with it. She figured he had a virus (he has had no fever and this has been coming and going for over 10 days at this point) and that the only things she was worried about were possible celiac disease (noticed no symptoms surrounding gluten ingestion in any way before or during) or thyroid disease. (I'm assuming she meant Graves disease because of the weight loss?) Blood draw orders were given and off we went.

Fast forward to now when we decided to do an elimination trial on our own. We gave him sensitive (remember he's always had a problem with most milks) formula for a day and no cow's milk. His stools immediately improved and by the middle of the day were almost completely normal. His belly lost that hard bloated feeling, and he became less gassy. Even more importantly, his normal ravenous appetite is returning, the snot is abating and the choking, huffing, coughing has gone away completely! This is in one full day of no milk. I don't think a virus does that.

I called Dr. F's office today and got the nurse I love. Hallelujah! This one actually gives me advice instead of telling me to bring him in for every sniffle. She said to get sensitive toddler formula and try that. So off we go for this part! If his symptoms continue to stay away, and he gains weight, we may just stay on this for a while and not even try the cow's milk again until later. Why not? It won't hurt him. It would also be nice to avoid that blood draw and more specialist visits if we don't have to do it. We are all sick of doctors by this point.

I will be reporting in from time to time to let you know how it goes. (I know you're on the edge of your seats!) As of right now, it's going ok. Last night was Hell, so it's all relative, but you gotta look on the bright side huh?

Sometimes I'm Clueless

Help please. My baby, who always went to sleep well, is starting to fight it with all his might. Is it developmental? He's starting to stand and try to walk. Is it becoming a toddler? Is it wanting to play? Is it wanting to spend more time with Mommy and Daddy? Is it a growth spurt? Teething? How have you responded to this? He even went back to sleeping with me a few nights!

Addendum: Hub just walked him in, and put him in the crib. There was some angry yelling for a few minutes, but nothing like when I first put him in and nothing like it's been the past week. WTH??

And Happy New Year's Eve

We Aren't Dead - Yet

So we've been all excited for this Christmas season and would love to get the ball rolling except that we are having issues. The car broke down again. E is sick, and we are on our second wave of visitors (3 more to go). He has RSV and a double ear infection. He's on nebulizer treatments, steroids, antibiotics and ear drops. We like to throw in a good few doses of Tylenol and ibuprofen here and there just to say we've covered all our drugged up baby bases.

As a result, the tree is up but most of the ornaments are scattered on the floor; abandoned the night we rushed him to urgent care. There is so much filth and so few clean clothes to wear that soon we will qualify as a Survivor set. And all those Christmas cards and gifts to be sent? Half finished thank you. Merry first Christmas E! Let's hope we get it done better in the next week or so. Dr. F. says you should be more on the mend in another week. I wouldn't mind if the fever went away though...