Home Fix-It Help

See this lovely light fixture? Aren't the lattices pretty? Isn't it great that we're using fluorescent bulbs? I liked it very much when we moved in. Notice one problem though. It's not lit up. It never lights up anymore. Why, you ask? Well, it's because we don't know how to remove the stupid box to change the bulbs. We don't even know what size bulbs to buy. We've never seen them. There is no latch or swinging side. There is one small screw on one end, but nothing happens when I take it out. The lattice doesn't move. It's glued in. So, does anyone know how to change these bulbs? The only thing we're left with is the possibility that we have to go into the attic, and there may be an access there. The rub with that is that it's summer - in Florida. The other problem is that our attic is not finished in the slightest bit. It would be very difficult to get to that spot without ruining the ceiling or killing ourselves. Help?!?!

Your Input Needed

Crib bumpers for an almost 7 month old who likes to stick his legs through the slats - pros and cons - discuss.

A Story of Sleep

For the first time ever, little man did ALL THESE THINGS IN CONJUNCTION:

He fell asleep on his own in his crib without any crying and slept all night in his own room in his own crib without crying until 5:30 am when he got hungry. He is amazing. I swear he teaches us far more than we teach him. He's never "lied" to us really about anything and this was no exception. He was giving us clues that it was time for him to do it this way, and he did! I still slept in his room on the futon, but I only had to say, "shhh" a few times and that was it! I didn't get up ONCE! Wow. Baby, I love you.

Let's Talk About Milk

1. E is has been less interested in milk for a little while now. He's still gung ho at night and first thing in the AM, but during the day, he nurses very little compared to what he used to, and I don't think it's all the fattier milk thing. Anyone have any input? Does he want more solids? Is this normal?

2. When in the bottle, the fat in my milk has been migrating up the sides to the tippy top in a very short period. It's annoying and hard to get it off without heating it up. Why is it doing this? It never did before. Breast milk is fascinating I tell ya.

3. Now that he's eating more solids and less milk, does he need any water?

4. Speaking of all this milk stuff, I may just move to eating unleavened bread, I hate yeast so much. I had a second bout of thrush - nowhere near as bad as the first or as other people get it, but I'm done now thank you.

5. Some tips for thrush: Don't let it go! Get it treated right away! If you're writhing from the itchy/needle pain of it, it's thrush. Don't bother with topical treatments. Go for the big guns. If it's on the surface, it's under the surface. At least that's how I feel about it. And be careful about keeping the girls cooped up and sweaty. Fat chance for me working outside in Fl. Sigh.

Bullets because I'm Lame

• I'm finally catching up with other people of like mind with babies. For me, it's a lot like having other IFers to talk with.
• Today we hung out with a delightful couple with twins and their equally delightful friends. The first delightful couple struggled to have their babies too, and it's lovely to see them together. (Hi KWs!)
• Maybe tomorrow I'll catch up with another IFer and her lovely boy. We shall see!
• E is developing so fast I don't know which way to look! Stepping, rolling, eating solids (the sweet stuff is the yummiest!)
• E now tries to bribe me into things by bestowing kisses... lots and lots of open mouthed, licky kisses... in which he grabs my hair and brings my face to his.
• He also punched me in the nose. It's sore. And a little swollen.
• Mom is visiting soon! Huzzah!
  
  

Irrational Fears

We all have them. Sometimes we don't think about them until we're presented with a situation. Sometimes we hide what they are because we feel so silly. Jen and I shared ours a long time ago and found ourselves so amusing that we thought you'd like to know as well. What's a little ridicule among friends?

Mine came up as we were discussing my fear of a certain ride at Walt Disney World. Oh I ride it, but that doesn't stop me from screaming my head off and closing my eyes tightly at the end as I indiscriminately grip and duck my head into whoever is next to me. (Usually Hub thank God) Can you guess what it is? They're huge, scary and, well, extinct. Yup, you're right. I'm terrified a dinosaur is going to eat me.

Now I'm not terrified in an every day kind of way. It's just that I was fascinated by dinosaurs growing up. I read every book I could get my hands on. I watched every special that aired (Though there weren't many. We didn't have cable.) I talked about them with others. Geeky much? And I did have the occasional nightmare about what would happen if they came back. Then Jurassic Park came along. I loved that movie and that book. I watched and read them multiple times. Theme parks decided to feature dinosaur rides. I had lots more irrational nightmares about trying to escape dinosaurs in a world not equipped for them. And now when I ride those rides I scream my fool head off and somehow believe that the large chunk of rubber and machinery is really going to eat me.

Now that I've shared, won't you? Post or comment via my blog or Jen's. Just let me know so I can read!

Little Bit

Crabby 6 month shot baby is demanding lots of kisses and hugs. The crabby I don't like, the kisses and hugs are A-OK with me!

The Not Blogging

Oh the blog posts that rattle around my noggin but won't be written down... how I mourn you. Hopefully I will soon get my act together more and be able to actually write again. I want to write about things that helped me, tricks I've learned, insights I've had. Right now I mostly just get the quick thoughts and the most urgent thoughts down. My blog ends up being a mish mash of blurbs and intense ramblings.

I do have to say though that the work part of being busy is what I would cut out - definitely not the Mommy part. I would leave 1000 books, articles or blog posts unwritten for one moment with the babybutt.

Letters to Babybutt (again!)

Dear E,

How is it that the Sunchip bag makes you scream angrily, Elmo drives you to tears, and the vacuum cleaner has you in hysterics, yet fireworks are awesome?

Just curious.

Your friend,
The Mommy

Letters to Babybutt

Dear E,

Happy half birthday baby! You have exploded in manual dexterity, sounds and attitude. The only reason you're letting me type this at all right now is because I'm letting you play with the mouse cord and keyboard... which lends itself to some interesting typing experiences. How is it that you manage to hit function keys every.single.time?

Your burgeoning awareness of the world is amazing to see. I'm so privileged to be your Mama! And speaking of being your Mama, you have become much more attached to me lately. There's nothing like the stab of guilt in the heart when I know you cry because you have to go to daycare. I know you'll be ok in the long run, but I wish I could play with YOU all the time too!

You've just started to learn to roll over. You will scribble with a pen. You fake cough and squeal for attention which we find hilarious. And the most heartwarming to me - you reach for me. You even try to pull me to you. Your hugs are more frequent, and I think the "I eat your faces" have become kisses. I love you too baby. And now you're crying in frustration, so you'll have to appreciate this letter later.

xoxoxo
M

Finding Me

I'm having trouble integrating back into work.... still. It's not just leaving the baby and the fact that he obviously is stressed by going to daycare despite the fact that he likes his provider. I think it's also that I'm rediscovering who I am. I'm having trouble with the old work Barb and the new Mommy Barb. I'm not sure how to put them back together or if I should be embracing a whole new identity.

I'm a singular passion in life sorta gal. Aside from family, my main passion in life has been my career. But now I seem to want my career to be motherhood with a little bit of job on the side. I never expected that drastic shift. I guess I should have, but I feel like I could never have dreamed how intense this would all be. All of this has left me floundering.

I feel a little lost, a little alone, a little crazy and a lot confused. I'm finding I didn't truly have very many real friends. I feel very judged by those who haven't had my experience, whether with children or not, and I'm struggling to not let that affect me. Why should it?

I'm really hoping I'm not the singular crazy person in all this struggle.