Disbelief

I am now almost 9 months pregnant. Work is getting increasingly difficult, my belly is growing by leaps and bounds and ripples around of its own accord, and our house is turning into a family home. Yet I still sometimes find it completely incredible that I'm going to be giving birth imminently. How is that? I have flashes where I fully comprehend it. Then the emotions almost sweep me away. But they are usually just that - flashes. A lot of the rest of the time I spend in a sort of dazed disbelief that this is actually happening to me. We are going to have a baby. He will be our son. I feel unbelievably lucky, blessed, excited, grateful and awestruck. Will I ever fully comprehend and believe it? When I'm holding him, will I feel like someone's going to smack me awake? We see him again on our (final!) ultrasound this week. Will it sink in for real then?

Is this a similar feeling for everyone? Or is it a sub-fertile's weirdness?

Funny Stuff

I posted this last year, but here's a new installment. Do you remember it? I find it hilarious.
Beware the Doghouse boys.

34 Weeks 3 Days

A little bit late, but better than never. :)

Things I Don't Want to Forget About My Pregnancy

1. The babybutt doesn't seem to like the shower spray hitting my belly. He always scoots backward and/or squirms when it hits the top of where his feet rest.

2. The hiccups started very faintly. They were so faint I could barely tell what they were. Now I can actually see them. They happen at least once a day.

3. Amidst all the awesomeness, pregnancy is very hard, tiring and sometimes painful work. I will always remember that for other women.

4. It's so cute when I can tell the body part that's sticking out.

5. He reacts now when I touch different body parts sticking out of my belly.

6. Hub asks several times a day, "How's the baby?" and really cares about the answer.

7. Hub tells me I'm precious, beautiful and awesome at least once a day.

8. The changes in my body are absolutely fascinating.

9. I was in love with the idea of my baby before the 20 week ultrasound. After that ultrasound, I fell irrevocably in love WITH my baby. The intensity of it scares me a little bit.

A Question and Tooting My Own Horn

Anyone have good recommendations for video cameras? We want decent video quality, ease of transfer to a DVD and decent quality in low light.

By the way, my roasted garlic mashed potatoes rocked this year. The chocolate pecan pie turned out good, but pumpkin is still my favorite, and everything else was quite edible. I'm happy.

Feeling All Smooshy

Happy Thanksgiving to all the American bloggers out there. Hub and I are enjoying a really lovely, relaxing holiday together. My pumpkin and pecan chocolate pies are cooling, and now it's time to work on the main course.

I am all emotional and weepy about just about everything - in a good way. Christmas music, my pets, the thought of Babybutt's imminent arrival, a friendly gesture; they're all making me weepy. I think today I'm just really cognizant of for how much we have to be thankful. One of those things is that Hub and I have now been together for 12 years. As he said this morning, "We really are very lucky huh?" And that's exactly how I feel. A lot of luck has come our way bringing lots of beauty and joy.

Where You Weigh In

If you think you can help, please weigh in! Here is the shelf in discussion. We already have molly bolts installed, but the screw won't catch because of the thickness of the shelf. We were told by a friend that mollies would be the best way to go. Can we get a longer screw for a molly and have that work? Mollies are also supposed to be very difficult to remove without ruining your wall. We've also been told that using some sort of bracket to hang the shelf wouldn't be a good solution for this particular type of shelving. No other solution we've tried has worked either. Now you begin to see why we're frustrated with the design of this shelf. There probably are some other ways we could hang it that may or may not hold up in the long term, but they wouldn't be safe. And you know what? I'm willing to bet that's what most people settle for. This is why I'm disgusted with their response. They should probably know their own products well enough to offer some suggestions. And yes, we only have one stud on which it would work, and it's too far away from the drywall. Don't even get me started on how sloppily/quickly houses are thrown up these days. If we had known this was going to be such trouble, we would have bought a much cheaper and lighter shelf that would be easier to install.

Help if you can! Thanks.

Ikea's Response

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We do apologize for any
inconvenience that you may have experienced.

We would recommend taking the item to your local Home Improvement
Center to speak a hardware specialist. They will be able to recommend
the appropriate hardware to use for the shelf.

Thank you for your interest in IKEA. We do appreciate your inquiry.

In my opinion, this is not good customer service. Just because I've already bought the item does not mean their service to me ends there. Nor does it mean I'm no longer a customer worthy of service. I spent and spend a lot of money in their store. This feels very much like a "You bought it, and now we're done so deal with it yourself" brush off. It frustrates me to no end that it's difficult to get good, caring customer service from such large entities. Because really, that's mostly what we have anymore - especially if you live in an urban area. And if I take this "item" to my "local Home Improvement Center," you know what's likely to happen? If I find someone to help me at all, I'll be lucky if it's someone with any expertise in this area. I have not had much luck with this in the past. Their customer service is not much better than what I'm experiencing here.

This is one time when I wish my blog was more popular so someone from Ikea could see it that would understand brushing off your customers is not a good plan. I'm just bummed about the holes in my wall and all the money spent trying to figure out a hardware option that will work. blah.

Overwhelmed

I've been feeling very overwhelmed due to how slow I am and all that has to be done and all that is coming. Granted, I'm more inclined to feel that way than the average bear, but someone please tell me it's normal?

And yes, I am still very grateful and happy overall, but that doesn't change the day to day.

Frustrated and a Warning

Remember how we got that Ikea Leksvik changing table/dresser? We also bought the shelf that matches it to hang above it. Let me warn you about it. That damn shelf is HEAVY. It also comes equipped with nothing to hang it other than two little holes and instructions to buy some screws to put through them. That is not enough. It is especially not enough if you have dry wall. The screw doesn't reach far enough through the shelf unless you get it ridiculously long to get to the stud. And we only have one stud in that area anyway. The shelf is also too thick for drywall anchors to really work. I am quite unhappy that there is not more in the instructions or in the set up to help with such a ridiculously heavy shelf that often hangs above a baby's changing table. Can you tell that I'm frustrated? I just wanted to warn anyone who might be thinking about buying it. We've bought multiple kinds of hardware now, put two big holes in our wall that may not even work and now have to go buy MORE hardware to see if we can fix it somehow. We spent $40 on that damn thing. Argh. I really just want that room to be done and pretty so it feels ready. Is that too much to ask?

Realization

Yesterday it really occurred to me that the Babybutt is going to come out of there soon. It made me a little sad. I'm going to miss his little rib kicking feet and bladder butting head.

I also just realized that I forgot to mention Jen's shop where she makes those cute onesies, babylegs and other things in my other post.

Good Baby Day

I had my regular 2 week check-up today. The baby is definitely head down! I have really felt the difference in how he's situated the past few days. I even saw some really big migrating movement the night before last. It's so cool to see. I have gained no weight since the last visit, and everything looks good! It's really funny to see things through an OB's eyes, because today he declared, "You've finally popped!" He explained that to him I finally looked pregnant. Maybe I should carry him around with me for the next time a customer insists that I am "...carrying far too large for the stage of pregnancy you're in!"

At the next visit we get to see the little goat again on ultrasound. Yay! After that, we go to weekly visits and the big dilation checks! Craziness!

I also finished ALL my Christmas shopping today except for one little thing. BIG load off my shoulders. I really do not have the stamina or patience for it right now. Now I just have to get everything wrapped and sent. sigh.

And lastly, I had my work baby shower tonight. It was at Mimi's Cafe, and I enjoyed myself immensely both for the food and the company. I have been so incredibly blessed to be on this new team for my pregnancy. My managers and coworkers have just been so amazing. Two of my managers were even there and brought really nice gifts! It feels really good for people to care like that. Wow.

p.s. I had fried pickle slices, and they were AMAZING! I want more right now!

Handmade Lovelies and Hints on Baby Furniture

The adorable wipes Jen made for the Babybutt:

The super cute combo of a blue Bumgenius diaper with adorable baby legs that Jen also made for the Babybutt (She's so talented. :):


AND my attempt at putting together Ikea furniture.

I did a pretty good job though it almost made me cry tears of weariness because many pieces were heavy, and it took 2 days worth of a few hours each to complete. Notice my oops though. That piece is backward. Should you get the Leksvik changing table, please note the position of that piece. It's the only one you can put on backward without realizing. The other hint for this piece of furniture is to leave the drawers OUT until you fasten the changing table top. It's much easier that way. And do not try to follow the additional changing table instructions in the dresser box (they come in different boxes). They are not correct. Just use the changing table box ones. Now I feel better about all my mistakes. ;-)

Bulleted Updates

• Hub got to the doctor after a lot of discomfort and is referred to a specialist thank goodness. Thanks for all your advice. I was very worried.
• 33 weeks. Holy shit.
  
• The babybutt seems to have moved! The past few days I've felt a very different stress on my legs and back. In many ways, there has been some relief from the sciatica and pressure I've been experiencing. Tonight I felt a big flurry of movement and suddenly his butt was no longer poking to the left of my belly button. Now I feel along my belly, and it seems as if his back curves down to the right with his head almost down! My little one is getting ready! ACK! :)
• So You Think You Can Dance is much better this week. I'm in love with Russell. I really like a lot of the dancers. There are 2 I'm really not into. Can you guess?
• Hub said, "Those judges are cute." He said that because he likes how they act like coaches. That's the man I married. That's why I love him.
  
• Looking back on last year at this time, I can't believe where I am. It's so trite to say, but this really does feel like one very long, amazing dream that I can't quite understand. I had grown a lot into my fertility issues by that time and can say I was in a pretty happy place. But thinking about going back there fills me with sadness now. I wish I could change that for lots of others still dealing.
  

Allergy Help

Hub's allergies are generally bad, and sometimes they're horrible. It's awful that I can do nothing to help. We're going to try to get help from the doctor, but speak to me about YOUR experiences. He seems to be allergic mainly to dust, certain animals and plant life. Yeah, so just about everything that's around you all the time. Can they do the blood test for those allergies? Are there shots that help? Anything else that eases things? And when I say they're bad, I mean severe. Thanks. We both pray the babybutt avoids this crap. I have NOTHING, so hopefully he'll get my genes.

Christmas Yearnings

I desperately want to get things like this for about every person in my family yet lack the cash. Is this not one of the most beautiful things you ever did see?

From The Vintage Pearl

Boring, Rambly Day Update Because I Want To***

So the night before last, I had the worst cramping I've ever had in my life. Nope, it wasn't in my uterus, it was in my calf. I never knew about the whole leg cramping thing in pregnancy until it happened to me, and holy SHIT does it hurt. Wow. It made me think an epidural is going to be a really good thing, because if I can't handle that, I don't know that I can handle labor. My leg is still sore.

The point of telling you that is that I spent much of last night waking up suddenly, nervous, trying not to create any conditions under which that kind of cramp could happen again.* Thank goodness Jen and the lovely Elizabeth were coming to show me a good time. When they got here, I got to open my present first. And what gorgeous things they were! When I am feeling less tired, I will probably take photos and post them. But she got me a light blue bumgenius diaper and made some adorable stripey baby legs to go with them! I LOVE IT! I also got the cutest cloth wipes in the whole world (animals of course.) I certainly plan to take photos of the babybutt wearing the diaper combo as soon as it's possible. His face won't be gracing the blog much either, but baby legs and butts are pretty darn cute too.

Then we went for Thai food at one of my favorite places where I was sorely disappointed. The chef today must have thought ignorant Americans expected mild/medium Thai food to be completely devoid of any zest. Seriously. The food there is usually so tasty, but today was so bland I think a 5 year old would have been fine with it. Less SPICY does not mean less FLAVOR people! My pad thai didn't even have much peanut flavor. I felt badly because Jen was so excited to get some Thai food again (You'll remember her roach incident). I ordered some thom ka gai to go and asked for medium instead of mild, and it was MUCH better. It actually had a good flavor. It was still extremely mild though. Hub, who can't stand any sort of spice, gobbled it up just fine. Ah well, it was still fun though E felt that the floor needed much more decoration.

We then decided to stop at Whole Foods and the yummy samples there (along with cupcakes Jen made that we ate later) made up for it. Hub and I just finished one of the sweetest, most juicy, most satisfying oranges we've had in a looong time from there. I should have bought more.

Jen and E stayed a little longer, but then went home and I napped per the usual. Tonight I finally finished putting together our changing table. More on that later. I have some warnings.**

*(Kristin - I am sooo sorry Marty's had to deal with that. If it's anything like what I felt, no wonder the poor kid had so much trouble. :( )

**I still like it, but it was a little bit of an adventure, and if someone else is getting the same model, I have some tips that would have helped me had I known.

***Which is pretty much how I approach the way I write in this blog every time. Even without a blog, I'd still be scribbling on random pieces of paper and in my journals just to please myself. :)

I just realized...

that 32 weeks is 8 months! Holy Crap!!

Killin' time until Jen gets here so we can go stuff our faces full of Thai food. Report later.

32 Weeks 2 Days (8 Months!!)

And lots of interesting things happened today too, but another post maybe. I give you part of my face so you can see that I was actually smiling in this one.

Breaking the Law

I am exhausted but feel the need to post anyway. Compulsive much?

I got my very first speeding ticket in 16 years of driving today. I definitely deserved it. I was trying to get back to work after running lunch time errands. Sigh. I felt like such a shit though.

The police officer was so professional and kind. He actually didn't seem to take it personally at all like others seem to when you dare to break the law. That was the good part about it. I told him how much I appreciated his demeanor. (I firmly believe in positive reinforcement.) He was completely taken aback and apologized for giving me the ticket. It was amusing aside from the having to pay a ticket bit. At least I didn't burst into tears upon seeing him. That's definitely what I felt like doing. Maybe I'm growing up after all.

ETA: Note that I didn't compliment him until after he gave me the ticket. I didn't want you to think I was some kind of sap trying to get off easy. :) And I did cry some later when I told Hub. I'm not that awesome. ;-)

Someone must have a lot of pull...

...because the Universe answered!!!! I got a FULL SLEEP last night! (Well, at least what passes for a full sleep these days with the peeing and whatnot, but I'll take it!)

I have to say though that a lot of credit goes to Hub who has been taking care of me like it's nobody's business lately. It's almost like when we were first together! The past few weeks he has been pitching in on everything and just making me feel well cared for in general. I'm so glad we're getting along so well now. It makes me act more kindly toward him too of course.

But last night he had the idea to add a doubled up comforter to the mattress pad already in place under our sheets. My body just can't handle the firm mattress anymore. That's what I used to love. That, along with the massage he gave me and my heating pad, must have worked because I'm not even as stiff as usual this morning. This is a miracle because after how I felt when I got home yesterday, I imagined not even being physically able to climb out of bed in the morning. Oh I'm so glad. I guess we'll just have to continue the ingenuity.

Desperate

So very tired. Rest please? And maybe a side of lots o' money so I can actually just pick a date before my due date to stop working? And then stay home with the kid for 3 months instead of 2?
Thanks Universe.

And the one where I'm happy...

Be forewarned... lots of gushing including about the baby included.

So contrary to the previous post, I'm actually quite happy today. Sometimes people just make me angry. Why am I happy might you ask? The first thing is, I PASSED MY 3 HOUR GLUCOSE TOLERANCE TEST! I didn't realize how much that was bothering me until it was no longer a load on my shoulders. I know, I know. It's a small thing in the grand scheme of "bad things that happen" but it still bothered me. Dearest obgyn had also just gotten a shipment of H1N1 vaccine in this morning, so I got that as well - yet another load off. Everything with baby looks good still. I love that little shit so much.

On the non-medical front, I asked the doctor to tell me how the baby is positioned to see if we had guessed correctly. We had. I don't know why that excites me so much. His rump is on my left side and is the larger lump just to the left of my belly button. His back is to us and his head is slightly lower down on my right side. So that thing that I thought was his arm? It probably was. When I've rubbed his little bum? It's actually his bum. And that thing that poked out of my side last week probably was a teeny baby foot. I just want to eat him up.

It's also gorgeous outside. My broken washer was promptly fixed this morning, and I just paid someone to do a wonderful job cleaning up my back lawn. It's really nice to not have to work so hard to make things fall in order sometimes. Tomorrow I look forward to a very dear woman coming over with her little one to help me clean up some of this mess. The sciatica just makes it really hard to get a lot done at a time, leaving me way behind without help. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Open Letter to an Asshat

To the man in the beautiful Mazda Miata convertible with the bumper sticker that read, "Honk if I'm paying your Mortgage" with a mocking Obama symbol for the O":

You suck. What a lovely way to rub your relative wealth in others' (who are less fortunate) faces. I hate asshat bumper stickers. They so cowardly ridicule or scorn others with the comfort of relative anonymity. I equally hate the stupid little pieces of paper that mock anyone for their beliefs or status whether I agree with them or not. No buttface, you are not paying my mortgage; partly because of our hard nosed dedication to fiscal responsibility, hard work and minimizing, but also partly because I lucked out and didn't have a major health problem crop up and lose my job, or have no one to turn to for help during desperate times, or get sucked into a really bad housing situation unknowingly. We actually DID get sucked into a mortgage that is not the best situation in the world due to a very unscrupulous mortgage broker who changed our loan at the last minute without our knowledge. We are making it work, but worry about what happens if the market doesn't improve before that balloon loan is due, or if something happens to one of our jobs while we are paying the higher interest rate than we were quoted.* Yes we were stupid first time home buyers and didn't have a lawyer, or we would have nailed his ass. But we did as much homework as we possibly could to prepare for this. Guess what? Sometimes you still get stuck with the shit end of the stick. It's nice that hasn't happened to you. Yippee hooray, here's your cookie. The problem is so widespread you can't tell me everyone in the U.S. who has had mortgage problems is an ass, and there is no blame to go anywhere else.

And guess what else? I don't pretend to know what exactly should have been done to help the mortgage crisis or if what was done was the best route. However, the idea of stemming the tide of foreclosures etc is to hopefully shore up the whole economy. As much as those of you judgmental jerks** who have everything you could possibly need think you are immune to what the rest of the country suffers, eventually you are not. The bubble of ignorant prosperity shrinks more and more and eventually, most of you would be feeling the burn too.

Tirade over.

*Yes we WANTED a 30 yr fixed rate. We are somewhat on a 30 yr fixed rate, with a few caveats. Bait and switch baby.
**I know the minority. OK.. I believe the minority. Thank God. But it still pisses me off.

Hub

Sometimes Hub gives me the warm fuzzies and the happy shivers all at once. Good thing I keep him around even when I'm upset.

Nephew Update

We haven't had one of these in a while.

Messages we've received from nephews lately:
(in descending age order)

Nephew #1: I miss Uncle and Aunt. I miss them lots. Uncle is so funny. Aunt B, my doggy misses you. Her behave much better when you're here. I think you should come pway with her. She wants you to.

Nephew #2: I'm not a baby, I'm a BIG boy!! (yes he's now in that stage)

Nephew #3: Raaaaaaaoooooooorrrreeeeeeeeeeegggrrrrrrrrr. (No, I'm not kidding. I got this message on my phone recently. The kid sounds like a wild animal being torn apart!!! I've never heard anything like it! And he's only talking! Imagine what this crazy 5 mo old sounds like when he's angry!) He has also said Uh-Oh enough times that no one now thinks they're crazy anymore. We don't know, however, if he knows what it means.

Gold Star

Hub has done lots of noteworthy things the past few weeks, but I have been remiss in posting them. Sorry hon! But this weekend he gets a big, fat gold star for all his efforts! It started out with the fact that he watched a movie that I've been bugging about with me this weekend. THEN he passed out a few random massages where he actually tried to do a good job and DID! Next we had all sorts of Halloween fun that didn't involve work. And the most important of all, we finished painting the baby's room! He did most of the painting, I did the set-up and ran errands. It's a lovely, inviting soft yellow now. I am so pleased. I can't wait to move things into it.