Now that things are so close, I'm back to feeling that vulnerability again. I don't know if it's hormones, big changes coming, or the fact that I can't do more than waddle from place to place, but the world feels a little more intimidating.
On the bright side of that, people are getting nicer and nicer in response. Perhaps they sense my nervousness? A coworker confessed her 4 year infertility with me the other day. She didn't know about mine, but it was that, "I think we have something in common" feeling you often get with others of the fertility challenged persuasion. She's just now at the beginning of treatments after not seeing anyone about it. She's still full of questions and naivete about what this all entails. It always feels good to use this crap experience to bolster up another human.
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About Me
- Barb
- Lots of trying, angst, sadness, pain and procedures mixed with the happiest marriage and most fulfilling life I could hope to have. Now, after 4 years of hoping and praying, our little man is here - delivered Jan. 4th, 2010. Disbelief, craziness and joy. This blog serves as my outlet and record of my daily life - whether it be infertility related or not.
Infertility Awareness and Explanations
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9 comments:
I would imagine that it's normal to feel vulnerable as you come closer to delivering Babybutt. Don't they say having a child is like having your heart outside of your body? The world does seem a little scarier once you become a parent.
How wonderful for your coworker/friend to feel comfortable confiding in you and how wonderful that you're in a position to offer her some perspective and wisdom.
{{{Hugs}}}, the vulnerability is completely normal.
It's totally normal to start to feel a little freaked out now. :)
It is the hornomes coupled with the enormity of what you are about to embark on. If I could tell you one thing right now it would be that motherhood is going to be way beyond your expectations. I was so nervous in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I look back and laugh now because motherhood really does come naturally. You're in for a huge change, but it is one that you will welcome every second of.
I totally hear you about the infertile thing. I have a best friend who is going to meet with my doctor tomorrow to begin her journey. She is so open with me about it, and it makes me feel like my own journey finally has a more tangible purpose. At least she won't be alone like I was.
freaked out is normal. but I doubt your brain is letting you hear that right now. I had panic attacks DAILY starting around 32 weeks. I mean we spend YEARS trying to become Mothers and can talk all day about our fertility treatments- but the motherhood stuff is all new. ahhh!
sorry- probably not helping. heh.
but just know that your baby is SO lucky to have picked ya'll.
xo
I completely agree!
I recently learned of a friend's infertility as well. She's also just starting the treatments, and I hope I can provide whatever support she needs. It's exactly like you said -- it feels good to help someone out after going through the awful experience ourselves.
The vulnerability sounds understandable to me. Becoming a parent colors the world with a different brush.
Thanks everyone! It's not so much that I'm freaked out as I just feel very raw and exposed. Things grate on my nerves and/or get to me a lot more than usual. I feel insecure and easy to attack in many ways.
Good points Karen.
Sweet Chelle. :) Thanks.
Sending you much love!
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