Oh. The sick.

That's why it's been crap the last few days at least. Let's hope work is feeling forgiving. Even if we have sick time, there are strict rules about what days we can use it. Love "family friendly" companies. Wish E to feel better and us to stay good! Anyone else up at 2am with me this fine day?

My 2012 Goals Revisited

... with a dash of some extras.

Here's what I had written last April:

1. Run a 5K
2. Read the whole Bible. I'm 34 and have only ever read parts. I need to do it if I'm going to agree and disagree with parts of Christianity.
3. Finish the kitchen and hallway painting/fix if projects
4. Fix up the garden 
5. Organize the garage with shelves. 
6. Get a service for the air conditioner.
7. Pamper myself with a massage, GOOD hair cut and new make up/skin care projects.

I am nowhere near running a 5K. I had gotten to the point where running caused me to crash so hard I couldn't even take care of E. I have instead been doing long, brisk walks on the weekends. It's not enough, but now with some advice from my new GP, I think I'm going to take a stab at it again. 

Reading the whole Bible... well, I've read a small portion of the Old Testament and am now reading the book of Matthew in the New Testament. I want to read it carefully, and that takes time. But I continue to read weekly. I'm also reading it in conjunction with a very thought provoking book called, If the Church Were Christian by Philip Gulley. I recommend it for those in my conundrum. You know who you are.

The kitchen is almost entirely painted! I just need one more coat on two sections of wall, and we're done! Lots of other fix-it projects still loom.

Strawberries are planted. That's as far as we're getting with gardening.

Number 5. HAH

Service obtained for A/C. I like them. Woot!

No massage yet. (Sad face). But I've gotten a good hair cut and skin care regimen! I even have a hair dresser I will revisit! Yay!

And on the extras... we have found a few companies Hub might like working for in Virginia and Pennsylvania. And as a super optimistic side note, our house is now ALMOST worth half what we paid for it! That's an increase of 5% over last year! Maybe we'll someday be able to sell.

Delicious Healthiness

Pancakes aren't the greatest for you. They're especially not great when you have any insulin related disorder. I should really make my own out of something like almond flour, but it ain't happenin' people. Sorry. Sooo, the next best thing is to buy some of this scrumptious delight. It almost tastes like an oatmeal cookie. The whole family loves them, and I eat them with agave nectar and fresh strawberries. Mmm. Has anyone seen them in box form?

I Should Be a Grandma With All This Talk

I found a new general practitioner recommended to me by a coworker. She is nothing short of amazing. She completely trusts my word! She's actually a Nurse Practitioner and goes to bat for me like no one else ever has as a GP. I finally kicked Dr. HolierThanThou (who knew next to nothing about most of my issues) to the curb and went to see the NP about my worsening joint pain and suddenly rising triglycerides along with my ever crappy cholesterol issues. My triglycerides had come down from that 500 reading after going on Metformin, but they've still hovered in the 200's most of the time.

The run-down:
She ran a lot of tests. The basic finding is that my lipid bloodwork heavily suggests metabolic syndrome, aka insulin resistance. Big surprise there. We all know that having PCOS is a very strong indicator that IR might be going on. The suggestion there is that my HDL should be higher than usually suggested and that my LDL lower. Of course this is never even close to being the case no matter what I do. They also found that my LDL size pattern itself is even crappy and indicative of a genetically passed on heart disease. The best pattern to have is A; the large buoyant, "fluffy" kind that doesn't gunk up your arteries as much. Next most desirable is a combo of A/B. Least desirable is mostly B; the small, dense kind that clogs you up. Can you guess where I fall? Yeah. Firmly in the B category. Even my HDL breakdown isn't where they'd like to see it. Sigh.

And on the joint pain - no indicators of rheumatoid arthritis, but she strongly suspects some sort of arthritic changes going on in my body and would like to do x-rays at some point to possibly even start me on therapy to strengthen muscles around the joints so I can stay pain free (ish) longer. 

She thinks the crashes I've been having after running have to do with insulin issues. She gave me ideas for making that easier. 

She heavily suggested fenofibrate. My cholesterol has been wacky since I've had it monitored from age 23. Triglycerides have been going on 2 years. Nothing I've done has put me firmly in the "good" category. She and I are afraid I'm heading down my familial path: heart attack for Dad at 48. Marathon running uncle with triglycerides in the 1000's. Grandfather with a heart attack. Grandma with 10 brothers and sisters and of the 11, only 2 lived past 65. Almost all died of massive heart attacks.. most of them after having multiple ones before and/or bypass surgery. Grandma herself started having them in her late 40's, and I think had 6 total? She died of one in our living room at age 60. 

People have mocked me for worrying about this. "You're only 25! You're only 30! You're only 35!" "You're so active! You're thin! You eat so well!" Well you know what? Heart disease doesn't give a shit just like cancer and infertility don't give a shit. I've seen a deadly massive heart attack. It's not pretty. It's not a going gently into that good night. I don't want to experience a heart attack ever let alone a massive one. I want to be around for possible grandchildren. I want to get gray to match Hub (dig.. he's gray, I'm not. ;-) 

I'm going on the fenofibrate and continuing to eat things like quinoa, bean sprouts, salmon and avocado regularly. I will redouble my efforts to exercise and build lean muscle. I haven't been the best about muscle building since my job has done a lot of it for me, but now I need to. I suspect my blog will continue to chronicle these efforts. It's been slowly changing since I've had E, but I think I need to make a more official change from infertility blog to lifestyle blog about someone dealing with the fallout of PCOS, thyroid disease, insulin resistance and heart issues. Please wish me lots of luck. And any of you taking fenofibrate or dealing with this same stuff, pipe up and let me know how it's going. We all know how much better not being the only one feels. I can't be the only 35 year old in this spot right?

Sleep

It has been sucky lately. E fights it no matter the time. And when he does sleep at night, he's waking up with at least one nightmare, sometimes for up to an hour. Sleep Gods! What the Hell is the deal??

Our Unexpected Valentine

For Valentine's Day, Hub searched around and made a reservation for 7:30 at a little Italian place nearby. We got home from work, rushed through some clean-up and headed out with the little man. 

When we got to the restaurant, there was no one at the check in podium and a long line of people waiting. After about 10 minutes, someone came by but still wasn't even addressing us. Hub managed to tell her we had reservations (at 7:40), and she looked frightened. That's pretty much what happened for the next 20 minutes. People would remind her that they had reservations, she would hardly answer their questions, looking frightened while she scribbled things on a pad and stared at the computer screen. I honestly don't think she had any system to what was going on. She finally told us that our table was being cleaned. I asked her to be honest with me about how long it would take to get food since we had a 3 year old with us. She said it would be quick. We sat down a little after 8pm. By 8:10, no one had even greeted us, so we got up and walked out thinking at this point it would be better to grab something on the way home. 

However, as we walked past a little pub type place in the same shopping plaza, a lady walked out and asked if we were looking for somewhere to eat. They had heart lights and balloons and a man was crooning R&B in the corner. We sat down at an outdoor table next to a heater and were treated to so much fun, kindness, and good service that we enjoyed ourselves immensely. The food was also amazing. I had a pressed turkey, brie, apple and mango sauce sandwich that slayed me with deliciousness. Hub had some roast beef with au jus. E bopped to the music, and when he finished, he got down and danced in an open space between tables, basking in the smiles of people nearby. The singer allowed a man to sing a few songs while he took a break. One of them was for his wife who video taped him with big smiles. 

The music was wonderful. The people were gracious. The food was divine. The unexpectedness of it made it perfect. 

Happy Valentine's Day. 

Bird is the Word

Great Backyard Bird Count people! It's cool. Do it. 

Happy Equation

1. A fixed (and sassy!) haircut.
+
2. Taxes DONE
+
3. A new awesomely cleaning and fun to use vacuum.
+
4. Home improvement projects actually moving forward.
+
5. Potty training (though exhausting) going fabulously.
+
6. The best little family ever.
=
A mama whose cup runneth over.

Goodbye

Dear nose and throat,

You haven't done your job well for more than three weeks. I'm beginning to think it means very little to you. Therefore, you're fired.

Sincerely,
The face to which you are affixed

Basic Kindle vs. Kindle Fire

So if you've followed, you know that I like the Kindle Fire, but I find it much better for TV shows and child amusement than I do for reading books. I do sometimes use it to read at night in bed, but lit screens keep my already crazy brain too active, so it's better if I don't do that. 

Hub knew this, so he (bless his kind soul) bought me the most basic Kindle e-ink reader for Christmas. I LOVE it. I still like books better, but I do enjoy this Kindle to take to work or traveling. It's so much lighter and smaller than the Fire and so much easier on the eyes. I can get involved much better in the book. It's also quite handy to carry compared to books as I like to read multiple books at once. And the amount of time it keeps a charge is pretty awesome. I'm a fan. 

Now you have my review.

PCOS and Birth Control Pills

Birth Control Pills have never been my friend. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with PCOS and learned more about my syndrome that I figured out that was normal for someone with my issues. The PCOsupport website recently sent out this "HealthByte" email that talks more about research into how BCPs affect those with PCO or PCOS. I wanted to share it with you in case it was helpful.

Here is this week's Health Byte from the PCOSA.  Side Effects of Birth Control Pills to Counter PCOS   Birth control pills can do more than just give the appearance of a "normal" monthly rhythm for women whose cycle is disrupted by PCOS. Oxidant stress is one example. A study from Shiraz University of Medical Sciences in Iran has shown that birth control pills can bring on this condition where unstable, reactive molecules in a woman's cells cause damage because there are not enough antioxidants to neutralize them. The study divided 120 women into three groups. One group took justbirth control pills. Another group took birth control pills, as well as vitamins C and E. A third group did not take anything (no pills or vitamins). Compared to the women who took nothing, the group only taking birth control had more oxidant stress. The birth control women also taking the vitamins had less oxidant stress that than the ones taking birth control but not vitamins. This information suggests that, if you're taking birth control pills, it would be smart to also take antioxidant vitamins such as vitamins C and E. A good multi-vitamin/mineral can provide a spectrum of antioxidant protection. You can also get a good supply of antioxidants from whole plant foods such as vegetables. Some oxidant stress is normal. But too much may increase chronic inflammation. The latter can be a big driver of PCOS symptoms. So oxidant stress is something to be controlled. Check with your doctor. Research indicates that women with PCOS tend to have higher levels of oxidant stress and chronic inflammation than women without polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Sincerely, Christine DeZarn Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Association, Inc. (PCOSA)

Super Top Secret Mission Day

Today I stayed home from work without telling Hub or the little man. I wasn't originally going to take the day off, but circumstances in scheduling presented the opportunity, and on a whim, I took it. 

I got up super early like I normally would for work except that I drove off to the post office, grocery store and clothing recycling center. Then I headed to Lowe's to check out new ranges and get a paint sample for our bedroom. By the time I was finished with all that, Hub had already left to drop E off at school (which is going well, but he still cries in the AM.) 

When I got home I started the taxes and started cleaning our bedroom. My plan was to deep clean that place as a surprise for Hub, because his allergies are so bad. I also wanted to put some paint (a light gray/blue) on the walls at least to see if it was nice. Then I headed off to an appointment to get my hair done! Yay! A haircut! It's been at least 7 months. 

After I came back, I continued to clean and then (almost) finished painting the kitchen! You may remember this goal from ages ago. I just have one more coat to do on two of the walls, and then I'm DONE. I finished up with the taxes, some dishes, a shower and a quick early pick up of my sweet boy. It was eventful and fun to plan all that with only myself to answer to. Hub liked the surprise and loves the paint color. Yay! 

What We Did Today in Pictures

My old vacuum recently bit the dust so hard that I had no choice but to go buy a new one (Shark NV400 pro - like it so far.) E has always tolerated our old one tensely at best, shrieked at worst. You can see how much he appreciates the quieter model. I thought I was going to run over him!

He also did a little spelling. It's his new hobby. "QYL" is pronounced "Kwill" for those of you who don't know.

And finally, the thing he was most excited about was buying flowers for the mailbox (lantana) and planting our strawberries! (Don't worry folks. They're the real thing this time.) He helped dig the holes and place the plants. The ones in half of his sand and water table are HIS garden. He's beyond proud. Wish us luck!

Thankful Prayer

Dear God,
Thank you for this amazing, miraculous, beautiful child and happy family. Even on bad days, the wonder of it floods me with joy and gratitude.