The Time is Now! Life From Scratch Book Tour!

I don't often do book tours. I'm too much of a flake and don't trust myself to follow through well enough. However, every now and then a book captures me enough that I know I'll be dedicated enough to participate. The first one was Unsung Lullabies. This second and only other one is Life From Scratch by our very own Melissa Ford of Stirrup Queens fame.

I think this book caught me up so well for a few reasons.
1. I haven't been able to read much and was so excited to find that rare book that I think about even when I can't be reading it.
2. It appeared light and fun but in reality had such deeper meaning and layers to it.
3. The characters were HUMAN and beautifully fleshed out.
4. I love Mel.

If you want to read more of my gushing, see my original post after reading the book.

Now on to the book tour questions! Check out the link following to read about the rest of the tour and to learn how to get your hands on a copy of Mel's book!

1. Which character did you relate to the most and why? Could you see yourself in any of the characters of the book?

I actually related the most to Rachel. At one point, she describes what it's like to feel that you are an "average girl," and I felt a very strong connection to that description. I've often been shocked that someone I found "cool" would like me, this ho-hum everyday sorta gal. I've also often felt that while I'm not unattractive, I'm just your normal girl next door who would have difficulty ever standing out in the crowd or looking beautiful and glamorous. It's nice to know I'm not alone in those feelings.

The most poignant feeling of kinship I had with Rachel is when she describes sitting on the tub, watching a bug that she wants her husband to come home and take care of. It becomes more about missing him and needing his companionship and care than about needing help. I identify so closely with her thought process there... with how she spirals into feelings of depression and abandonment more and more as she waits and how his reaction to her is such a let-down, that it triggers drastic results. I can remember more than one time of feeling that exact way not explaining myself well enough to Hub. I have been guilty of expecting him to understand me in ways that I don't communicate effectively. I've also been guilty of piling on the hurt over time and then unleashing it in ways that are unexpected for him. I wonder if that's a "girl" thing to do?

Oh and the breaking down emotionally in front of someone stuff and feeling like such a dork after doing it. MAN can I connect with that. ;-)

2.If you have to take up a hobby after a life changing event, what would it be? Have you ever wanted to just try something new?

Hmm. I would want to try photography. More specifically, I'd like to try travel photography. When I change, I go big eh? Travel is an absolute passion, and I'd love to be able to capture that on film. And I've often wanted to try something new. I'm very fond of experiencing life to the fullest of my ability (which means nothing too horrifying like base jumping), and I find myself searching for new challenges and experiences often, or I feel, for lack of a better word, bored. That's how I started knitting, archery, show jumping on horseback, moving around the country and eating Thai food. It's also probably why this little white, naive, small town America girl is married to brown-skinned, slightly jaded, three different country connected, bilingual city boy.

3. Rachel learned more than one lesson in the course of this novel - which one impressed you most and which one could you relate to most?

Honestly, I know it's not the central theme of the novel, but I was most impressed with how she handled Gael and that whole situation toward the end. I liked that she didn't act like a wilting flower. I liked that she realized with adult clarity what had to happen in their relationship. I would like to think I'd be that adult but have a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't happen. However, I could relate most to the lesson on communicating effectively with your spouse before working yourself into such an advanced emotional state over a perceived issue.

To continue to the next leg of this book tour, please visit the main list at Write Mind Open Heart!

Interested in this lovely little book?

Buy it in paperback or Kindle edition!

Gone in a Flash

Hmm. I daydream new posts all the time at work. Like today, I got all excited about what I was going to write when I got home. I even remember thinking, "I'll have to watch that I don't stay up too late writing it!" But then I get home, the busy starts, and it's gone. Bummer. It was gonna be good. ;)

I do know I'd like to address the second child question and how/why positive reinforcement training works (very brief and dirty) and why punishment is so tricky. But both of those will require serious time and thought. In the meantime, any questions you have of me?

Being Easier on Myself

Things are pretty wonderful at the moment. With the help of some friends, I've gotten control of the house and Hub is at a point where he can help. When things are in their place and clutter eliminated, I can breathe easier. When there is less dirt, I am less anxious. It's a beautiful thing.

It's funny though that the condition of the house now would probably be something I met with disdain before I got pregnant. I would berate myself for the dirty baseboard, the untrimmed hedges, the cluttered coat rack. I would think I was lazy, irresponsible and dirty. Then I would leave it until it could be left no more because I would know that the minute I started, it would have to be perfect. I would be on my hands and knees scrubbing all day and into the night. Now I realize that compared to now, my house was practically spotless then. I am good at cleaning. I am good at mothering. I am a good wife.

It doesn't matter that the house is less clean now than before. What matters is that I'm doing the best I can, and that we're happy. So in the spirit of being nicer to me, I'm going to list all the "extras" I did pre-baby that would be herculean for me to do all at once now and accept that I was awesome then, and that I'm pretty darn good now as well.

Things I did in a regular cleaning before pregnancy:
1. scrubbed the drip pans in the stove
2. cleaned under and behind the frig
3. Cleaned windowsills and the insides of windows
4. Cleaned all mirrors
5. Scrubbed all the floors and baseboards
6. Wiped down the walls
7. Cleaned old stuff OUT of the frig, wiped down the shelves and scrubbed the drawers
8. Vacuumed the sliding glass door tracks and all the vents in the house
9. Vacuumed our mattress and flipped and rotated it.
10. Washed the pillows
11. Organized shoes, clothes, etc
12. Wiped down all cabinet doors, top of frig and around door handles and light switches
13. Windexed glass on picture frames
14. Dusted EVERYTHING (including ceiling fans).
Plus all the "regular" things involved in a normal cleaning

Extras included: Cleaning out drawers/cabinets, shampooing the carpets and cleaning outside windows.

Now I'm lucky to even finish dusting. Baby fingerprints cover all glass surfaces pretty much constantly, and the refrigerator hasn't been cleaned out in a few weeks. I might scrub the floors once every couple of months. Sounds disgusting to the previous me. But ya know what? I'm happy. We're ok, and I'm getting a handle on the worst of it. I rock.

The One Where I Get All Verklempt

So, I debated getting all dramatic again, but in light of Jen's Ode to Barb post, (yes I am that awesome*) I figured that I might as well tell you that Jen is one of the best friends I've ever had. I have very few great friends, but those few are phenomenal. You know who you are. I just wish more of them lived close to me. It only takes one or 2 Mississippis for me to name those I can count on to that extent who are less than an hour away from me.

In any case, I can tell that I missed her a lot by the fact that I get very quiet when she comes back for a bit or when she leaves. I'm most serious and calm when my emotions are the sharpest. The one exception was some of my post partum experience, but I think we can agree that that is a unique circumstance. I thought I was all "down" with the moving to Georgia thing by now, but when she left again, I got all sad, weepy icky like I did last time. And oh that the sweet Dibits remembers me and still wants me to be her Auntie Barb. It makes me want to give her giant squeezy hugs that she does-not-want-thank-you. She's so delightful in this talkative stage, and so good with my sweetest, who adores her. I think, instead of me moving to Georgia, Jen should move back here. Ball's in your court chickie! (Am I right Florida contingent?)

*In reality, I am always slightly in awe and disbelief that someone that awesome likes me that much.

Hurt

Johnny Cash's cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt" has always resonated with me deeply, especially as it came so soon before June's and Johnny's deaths. I have just seen the video however, and wow. I'm not a huge country and western fan, but Johnny Cash will always be up there for me as an amazing musician.

Burning Question

So I've been waking up multiple times some nights with both arms fallen asleep from shoulder to fingers. It doesn't matter what position I choose. The doc did examine me but found nothing alarming (in the middle of the night I find differently) and said most new moms complain of something like this and basically shrugged. Is this true? Where are you "most moms?" What did you do to ease it? It's ridiculous when my arms get better sleep than I do.

Of Hairlines

The hair around my widow's peak continues to grow! It feels so luxurious to have this kind of hairline! Oh the little things.

Gold Star for Hub

Sometimes I feel scared that he feels I'm in the way of his workload. But then he does something to show that he's really trying and invested despite the busy and the work passion, and that means a lot.

Happy Valentine's Day my love.

Morning sweetness

Last night was one of the aforementioned nights when E can't handle our evening activities. There was much need and angst and monkey clinging until I brought him to bed with me. He had a rough night but was happy after he rolled into my arms and stayed there until they fell asleep. (crying ensued upon their removal)

It was nice to have the morning though. I'd missed that. I woke abruptly to a foot in my face. I tried to keep my eyes closed in the hope he'd sleep longer. The next move was a rattling lovey thrown down like a glove in front of my nose.

When rougher actions didn't work. E's lovey was called in for snuggle duty. Upon seeing the crack of one eye, E put lovey's face to my cheek and made a kissing noise for the first time ever. Smart kid to melt Mama's heart like that.

Weekend Plans for the Old

We have discovered that that quality of E's sleep is directly correlated to how well we've done his bedtime routine and how little he has been overstimulated after say, 5pm. He continues to be a sensitive, high need baby in some ways. Sleep is definitely one of them. So we will just continue to decline invitations to our friends' get togethers that don't start until 7pm. (Seriously, have these people not seen Weekend Plans? Do they not need sleep? We're all thirties and up here! Am I just old before my time?) Due to increasing peer pressure, the need to see people we love, and maybe a little name calling, we had started to venture out more often. It's not worth it folks. The past 2 weeks have taught us that. Sorry! We love ya but we love sleep and a happy baby more!

*Thanks to Heather for introducing me to weekend plans. It continues to make me giggle on a regular basis. Oh I'm so those people.

Perfect Day

What a beautiful day all around! The high was a perfect, sunny 70 degrees, and it was spent with family and friends.

Jen and Elizabeth have been back in Florida and decided to visit our house for the day! Elizabeth and E spent lunch time getting to know each other and debating over who gets what toys before we headed out for a beautiful walk on one of Hub and my favorite trails. Elizabeth was very excited about the whole adventure, and E always appreciates some time outside to see the "Birbs." "Birbs" are the first thing he talks about upon waking in the morning. Just to be clear, while he can identify a bird, airplanes also fit that distinction in his mind.

But I digress. The walk was lovely, the company and conversation were easy and wonderful. "Auntie Barb" was included in Elizabeth's needs, and that felt pretty darn good after so long away. I missed her. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be allowed to have a hug. E already got his, which, might I say, made him very happy. He was enamored of Elizabeth and greeted her with excitement the minute she walked in the door. She's a big kid AND a cute girl! Bonus! Watching them together made me really want to petition Georgia to move closer to central Florida. Think I have a shot?

After our forest walk (of which Jen may have some photos), we adjourned to a nearby field where we let them run and crawl wild. Here are some grainy iPod photos I shot (non-identifying of my E of course.) I thought the one of Elizabeth was particularly pretty.


Later in the evening, E and I gave Daddy his first Daddy Valentine and picked up Outback food for our dinner.

Letters to Babybutt - growing up

Dear E,

You have been mimicking sounds (birds, trucks, sirens, sneezes, nose blowing) and saying a word here or there for a while now, but in the last week or so your language has taken off like a rocket! You chitter at us seriously while waving your hand like a politician to make your point. You mimic words we've been saying out of the blue while we eat dinner. You try so earnestly to get your point across. It's endearing. (Like everything you do.)

But since this has started, you've been a little more anxious and have had a lot more trouble falling asleep on your own. You did it just fine for a while, but right now it seems that all the stars have to align for you to feel comfortable enough. And it seems if you know you're going to have trouble, you panic and start to cry desperately as I try to put you in the crib. Believe me kid, I know just how frustrating that falling asleep thing can be. Daddy doesn't. At bedtime, he's snoring in under 5 seconds, and that's no exaggeration! But you apparently relate to Mommy in yet another way with this whole sleep deal.

All of this is to say that tonight, because of this, I had the pleasure of holding you in my arms, patting your bottom and singing your old lullabies to you as you sucked your thumb, clutched your lovey and drifted off. I got to watch your eyelids flutter, your thumb pop out of your mouth and your lips go slack. Before you drifted off, you even stroked Mommy's nose and cheek. When I put you in the crib, you sighed contentedly and snuggled in. We haven't done this since you were just a tiny baby. It made my arms ache and tears prick. I know there won't be a lot more opportunities like that, so thank you baby. Just remember that while you'll grow and change, and my role in your life will evolve; I will always be that Mama that held you close and whispered lullabies as you drifted to sleep.

Forever yours,
Mama

Life From Scratch

It's always a little hairy when you read, eat, peruse or sample something a friend created. In my case, I never want them to feel any less than completely proud of themselves whether I like the object or not. I also certainly don't want to have to come up with adjectives that point out their creation's merits while not lying about my appreciation of it (or lack thereof.) The fact that it's someone you've only "met" online doesn't make things easier.

But I should have known. I should have known that there would be no worry about a book of Mel's. I always love her writing, not to mention the fact that she's brilliant. (Mel, you can pay me later.) No seriously, I loved this book. What starts out as a deceivingly simple read adds layers and layers until you're left with meditations on life decisions and depth of character. That's another reason I liked it so much. Give me a story with good characters and good character development, and I'll love you for it. The protagonist Rachel is lovely, warm, and flawed, and I found myself rooting for her. She's just so damn easy to relate to. At one point, Mel describes how an "average girl" feels, and just as in her blog posts, I found myself nodding my head as I read. I think most of us secretly (or not so secretly) think of ourselves as that "average girl." Furthermore, even the characters who would be considered the antagonists in this book are simply people. They may be people who are at odds with our heroine, but they are people all the same who move through life with their own set of flaws and merits, goals and motivations. They are not overly vilified; they are painted as who they are, and we are left to feel empathy for Rachel but not hatred for those causing her pain. That is gifted story telling.

Finally, the plot twists in the book are not formulaic. It's not, "Girl meets boy. Girl and boy fall madly in lust. Something happens to drive Girl and boy apart. Something happens to drive them back together again. The live happily ever after." It's more real than that. Yet at the same time, it's still a comfortable read. Speaking as someone who can't handle anything more sad or distressing than a Disney movie many times, that's high praise. I found myself thinking about the book when I wasn't reading it and eager to return to it. In fact, I read well into the night when I should have been sleeping I was so eager to finish. Those are both things I haven't done in months. Granted, I haven't been reading as much as usual, but it's still a blessing to find a book like that. It was so real and comfortable that I found myself hugging my Hub a little closer, thanking him a little more and thinking of us as I read it.

Thank you Mel for writing this. And thank you for saying you'll write a sequel. It's only a matter of time until you're on the NY Times list baby.

And there is my (completely unbiased I swear) report.

P.S. The cover is pretty too. I like pretty books.

Operation...

... no more yucky poops is going fabulously. It was obviously the cow's milk, and E is now on Enfagrow Gentlease for toddlers. It's doing wonders for him in keeping him full and happy without any of the yuck.

Since I entered the world of understanding breastfeeding (or caring because frankly, as a teenager, I was oblivious), I have been supportive of mothers feeding their toddlers until they are ready to stop. This little enterprise however, has led me to more fully understand and appreciate the benefits of breast milk for children over a year old. It just so happens that many factors combined led to E weaning himself for good at 9 months. Even if he hadn't, I don't know how much longer I could have pumped at work. And that's just sad. Tiny little pity party for myself again about working full time. OK, done now and happy for the job and health benefits!

Happy

Hub called me "Mama" when talking to the baby the other day. It made my heart pound. In a good way. It was glorious.