Emotional

I would like to blog about how I went to an Aveda open house and got a free 5 minute massage, a hand scrub and massage, make-up consult and some yummy finger food. I would also like to blog about how nice it is to have a good friend with which to do that, and how I booked a hair AND massage appointment with the wonderful massage therapist I met there.

That's what I would like to feel like talking about. Instead, I'm so focused on negative shit. I find myself so very sensitive to criticism lately. It's been difficult. Sometimes even the slightest criticism makes me want sit in my room and mope. The crying is frequent. Yes I am normally an emotional girl, but this is ridiculous. Negative comments, no matter how nicely worded, on the condition of my house, my looks, my hair (of course happened at the salon), my thoughts, my husband... all of it either makes me anxious or depressed. One of the big triggers right now is I've just grown out of a bunch more clothes and am not looking nice again in the wardrobe department. It's especially bad if I think I've made a lot of progress in one area or another and then someone casually comments on how bad it is. Then it's so much worse because I was proud of myself. What the Hell? I know it's hormones, but it's still so difficult. I'm seriously thinking of just becoming a hermit for the rest of this pregnancy. Or at the very least, I'm considering not having most people over to the house ever again.... unless perhaps they sign a contract that only permits them to say shiny happy things while here. I was always self conscious about the condition of my house in a cleanliness sense and in a "it's not finished" sense, but it's gotten a million times worse now. I'm so insecure about the fact that it's not yet in any way a finished product. But at the same time, we've just gotten the money to start doing that stuff, and it really is coming along! AAAAAAAAAHH.

All of this, and the in-laws are coming tomorrow. And I will be alone with them a lot. And MIL has promised to "get information" from me on Hub that he won't give to her. And yes again, this is the same MIL who said my arms and face were looking fat, not just pregnant.* Internets - please be nice to me the next few days... or maybe weeks... or months?

*Amongst many other issues on which I'm sure she'll have more commentary.