I have found that not being alone all day helps tremendously. And E? He seems to have inherited a lot of the things that make me difficult at times.. or .. erm.. I mean unique.
Some thoughts/questions:
UNICEF recommends your house temps be set at 60-64 degrees F for co-sleeping. Um. That's a little cold. E and I both seem to chill a bit at 70 - not to mention that in Fla, that means the a/c would just run constantly all day and night. What temps do other co-sleepers have their thermometers set on?
When I lie on my right side, both my breasts end up hurting like CRAZY after an hour or so. On my left side, it gets uncomfortable, but nothing like the right. Any ideas why?
I am absolutely done being open with anyone about this post partum experience who hasn't
A. Had a baby fairly recently
B. Isn't a sensitive, open individual
or
C. Isn't all that close to me
I've had so many people tell me they, "didn't remember" dealing with or having this or that that I am just done with it. And even if they didn't have to deal with whatever, all birth and post partum experiences are not the same just like anything else in life. I just had someone telling me that they didn't need any pain relief post partum and that it didn't hurt that badly. ok. Maybe it didn't. But then again, maybe you didn't push for 2 and a half hours either. Or maybe I'm a wimp. But you know what? Deal. I have trouble believing though that you were in so little discomfort after that experience. AND I'm so tired of people reacting so harshly to some of my feelings post partum when they aren't even really around me. sheesh. You getting all nervous doesn't help me much.
And finally, the past 3 days E has started to finally seem to get past some of his screamy, separation anxiety stuff. I still have to hold him a lot, but it's not nearly so nerve wracking. Yay!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
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9 comments:
I am so sorry you are getting a hard time post partum. That blows. Everyone is different; people should just understand and not judge.
Our house is kept at 74-78, which is what the twins were used to in the NICU. We are in PA, so that means the heat is on all the time since it is cold, but the kids sleep with sleepers and onesies and a blanket. When we cosleep, they have their sleepers and onesies, our sheet and comforter.
That does seem cold - like so cold that you'd need a bunch of blankets, which would be dangerous for co-sleeping. Weird.
Boundaries are really good. You have I'm sure observed plenty of animals and their birthing and post-partum habits, only allowing the most trusted keepers near them... what you're experiencing is pure mammal behavior!
Don't know what to tell you about the boobs. Sorry!
I have learned that just like there are stupid people when one is dealing with infertility, there are the same stupid people after you have a baby.
Although we don't co-sleep, we usually set the thermostat around 68ish. Babies tend to be warmer than we think. I gave poor Z heat rash last winter b/c I was convinced he had to be cold and had him so bundled.
I wonder if the left side thing is because of your artery on the right side, just like the recommendation to lie on the left side when pg? Just a guess though.
Hang in there!
I'm convinced that all it takes is a few months for women to totally forget what they went through postpartum. And what they went through in delivery, or in the hospital right after a c-section. I just don't believe a word they say.
I'm actually worried that the books/everyone are going to want me to make our house too warm. A friend said they had their heat at 72 when their newborn came home. J and I start choking on the heat when ours is about 68, and we like it cooler at night. I think we're just going to apply common sense. If you're wearing about the same layers as your baby, whatever makes you comfy should be good for the kid, too.
And I'm glad you're trusting your instincts. I don't think co-sleeping is an option for us--our Q bed is almost too small for us and we're having twins--but whatever works is what we're going to do.
Good luck, sweetie.
urrgh. i'm sorry people are being so insensitive. (no pain relief? i don't believe it!)
i would LOVE to keep the house at 64 degrees! (even though i don't like cold weather i get really hot at night.) my husband is the coldest person on the planet and he would have never stood for that. we kept it at about 75 for cosleeping.
We've always kept our house at about 72 at night.
People forget so quickly. Even me, and I have a blog to look back at. Like when you asked me about my stitches today. I have thought about it more and I know for sure that they were still kind of there at two weeks and definitely all the way gone by six weeks. I'm thinking a lot better by about three weeks?
Also, I remind you that I needed all my pain medication and had to call the doctor for more.
For what its worth, I had post partum pretty bad. In fact, I have another blog that was started because I needed somewhere to talk about what I was going through. It might not be normal for everyone, but it is normal for a lot of people. If certain people don't understand that, they can stick it where their heads are.
I'm with Jen - we keep ours set at 72-73ish. As for the blues - I think people who have gone through it a while ago see it as a weakness as a mother, but that is SO not the case. It's just hormones, but it is very real. I went through it and it's hard. To this day I still have anxiety and then get blue alternately. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you!
People forget the first hours and the first months. In the first case, the pain gets overwhelmed by the excitement of the moment. In the second, the sleep deprivation turns your long-term memory into polenta. So always take that crap with a grain of salt.
I say if you felt you needed painkillers, you needed them. Case closed. :)
We keep things 65-67, but then again, we're in the sometimes frigid Midwest. That temp allows me to go light on the blankets, which is apparently a big deal in the bed sharing universe. But I think babies vary just like adults do: some might be burning up at that temp, while others (say, infant Floridians :) ) may be chilly.
Do whatever you need to do to get sleep and be sane! And let the naysayers come and deal with your screaming, miserable infant all night, if they are so darned smart...
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