1. I do not love breast feeding. Sometimes I don't even like it.
2. We are combining bf, pumping and once in a while formula for my sanity.
3. It really pisses me off when certain people think I'm reinforcing the baby's "screaming" by "responding" to it. Literally makes me want to lash out. If I ever find these people letting my baby scream to punish him, there will be Hell to pay.
4. On the other hand, I do wish he was less attached and insecure. Poor kid got it from me.
5. I wish diaper changes were less of a criminal offense. (any advice on this?)
6. Sometimes I want my Mommy to take care of it all for me.
Bring it on.
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About Me
- Barb
- Lots of trying, angst, sadness, pain and procedures mixed with the happiest marriage and most fulfilling life I could hope to have. Now, after 4 years of hoping and praying, our little man is here - delivered Jan. 4th, 2010. Disbelief, craziness and joy. This blog serves as my outlet and record of my daily life - whether it be infertility related or not.
Infertility Awareness and Explanations
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13 comments:
Oh B! I have nothing to offer but the biggest of hugs to you. I am sure little E will get the hang of chilling by himself and you will wonder when you baby became a big boy. I wish I could be there just to offer a hug, or adult conversation or even just help holding a baby so you can rest. You are doing a good job...just keep telling yourself that!
I bet 99% of people don't like breastfeeding at this stage. It's still just another chore. And takes SO long. He'll get faster at it and it will get easier and therefore less annoying.
Is he interested in anything yet? Elizabeth liked to stare at stuff while I changed her diaper. I think she was a couple of weeks older though.
I hated breastfeeding too so don't feel bad. I pumped for 3 weeks until I dried up. I hated when people tried to encourage me to do it because I just didn't want to.
I talk to A when I change her diaper, or sing to her. It seems to calm her a bit.
The breastfeeding stigma really annoys the crap out of me. Honestly? I really, truly think that for children who live in the first world, the difference between formula and breastmilk healthwise is so minimal. And I also think that the benefits (or not) of breastfeeding are more for the mother than the baby. An opinion many will disagree with, but there you have it.
That last comment from "anonymous" was really me. I forgot to link my username.
p.s. I have a very attached and insecure baby, too. It can be annoying as anything (especially those first two months when their only mode of self-expression is nonstop screaming), but after that time passed, I do appreciate his own little personality, complete with its quirks. Even the difficult ones. And those people who think you should let him scream? He's not their baby so they should butt the heck out! You cannot make a newborn baby feel too secure.
I was just thinking today that b/feeding has finally gotten easy! So, it does, it really does! But it really is okay to give sustenance to your baby however you can. After all, if Mommy isn't happy, baby can't be happy!
Keep going, Mama!
1. I do not love breast feeding. Sometimes I don't even like it.
As others have said, it gets better. Much, much better. And easier and mostly pleasant. Occasionally it's ever blissful. I never loved it in that obsessive, hormonal way but I like it enough that at 13 months we're still going strong with no intentions to wean anytime soon.
2. We are combining bf, pumping and once in a while formula for my sanity.
You gotta do what works for you. My only advice is be careful with how much formula you feed in lieu of breastfeeding/pumping because at this stage your milk supply is still tenuous and it's a supply and demand deal...as I'm sure you know.
3. It really pisses me off when certain people think I'm reinforcing the baby's "screaming" by "responding" to it. Literally makes me want to lash out. If I ever find these people letting my baby scream to punish him, there will be Hell to pay.
Follow your instincts Mama. He's a teeny, tiny, defenseless baby. Your job is to respond to his every need. Letting babies so young cry has been proven to jeopardize their long term mental health.
4. On the other hand, I do wish he was less attached and insecure. Poor kid got it from me.
He's meant to be attached. He's not insecure, he's just brand new. He knows nothing but Mama. If you give him the attachment and connection he's looking for now, you'll stand a much better chance of having a confident, secure, independent kiddo later. I couldn't put Sebby down for much more than a few minutes until he was sitting up at 4 months. I now have a gorgeous, happy, SUPER independent toddler who wanders around at parks and playgroups and social gatherings and barely looks over his shoulder to see if Mama is still there. Do you have a sling or other kind of baby carrier? It'll help with your need to get stuff done and his need to be with Mama.
5. I wish diaper changes were less of a criminal offense. (any advice on this?)
He'll grow out of it. Sebby really hated nappy changes as a newborn. Then it was easy for months and months and now it's hell again, but this time because he's strong and willful and gets up and runs away.
6. Sometimes I want my Mommy to take care of it all for me.
Don't we all!
And - I never weighed in on the co-sleeping thing. Sebby is a co-sleeper. He has been from day 1. We love it. He slept in a little pod thing on our bed, between both of us, when he was really young. When he grew out of that, we would put him right at the top of our bed and move our pillows down a bit to ensure he didn't get smothered by us, the pillows of our bedding. Now he's big and strong and can fend for himself. My only advice re co-sleeping is, that if you're not prepared to commit long term, then your best bet for a smooth transition out is to do it at about 3 months. Much longer after this and it gets a whole lot more traumatic.
Love and luck to you xx
I don't really care for bf'ing but I HATE pumping. With a passion. Thank goodness bf'ing has so many benefits and, most important, is free or else I would have dropped it like a bad habit long ago.
I had a complete stranger caution me about how my baby is never going to learn self-soothing techniques if I pick him up all the time. I smiled, nodded and walked away. He's my baby and I prayed for him for three years. I figure it won't be much longer until he doesn't want me to hold him any more. Well, it will probably be a few years but that is still too soon in my book!
Skeeter has a stuffed giraffe that looks down on his changing table and he watches him for the entire diaper change. I remember when he was brand new, I would press my hand to his chest and talk close to his face to sooth him. If that calmed him down, I would lay a folded up blanket across his chest just to give him a little bit a pressure. He has always hated laying on his back and I had a theory it made him feel exposed and vulnerable.
You ~are~ doing a great job. Before long E will be smiling and talking and reinforcing just that!
#3: My dad is a punk when it comes to making comments like that. Dont worry. You arent. Babies this young can only communicate through crying. Responding is what moms do. It's all we can do.
*hugs* to you Barb
These first few weeks are tough. Just trust your instincts because you know what is best for your little guy. Sweetpea hated diaper changes as a newborn but came to love them... she's become quite chatty and animated, which can present a whole new set of challenges!
I read this sentence today and thought of you:
Validating a person’s feelings does not mean that one is allowing another to “wallow” in their “negativity.”
I KNOW, RIGHT?!?
I love that your at least honest! I think being a mom is probably really hard sometimes (God I hope I get the chance to find out!) and especially when you've dealt with infertility you feel like you shouldn't be allowed to complain... Way to go mama! You are allowed to have hard days some days (and I would punch anyone telling me how to parent my child! Literally: deck them right in the chin!)
Hi...I found you off of Stirrup Queen and have read your January posts. We adopted a newborn who was born on Jan. 11, and although I can't breastfeed, I understand everything else!
thank you for being SO honest. I'm fairly honest myself, and appreciate when people thank me, so...thank you. I love hearing honest things about being a new mom!
oh, and we don't co-sleep because I am TOO afraid of smothering Little Man, but he spends the majority of the daytime napping with me on the couch...does that count?
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