Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day for those who feel comfortable with it. For me, I still think of it mostly as a way to celebrate my Mom. But I won't pretend that I don't feel a little pang at every commercial that lauds all the wonderful attributes of women who are mothers. "But I'm trying to be a mother!" I want to yell at the announcer. "I could be all those things too! I really could!"

I called my Mom this morning, and she seemed so incredibly delighted. It's not often that I'd use the word "bubbly" to describe my Mom, but there's no other word for her mood today. It's nice and flattering to think it was my phone call or card that had her so happy. I know the most likely truth though. My 3 year old nephew was the first person to call her this morning. She said the phone call went something like this:

Mom: "Hello?"
Nephew: "Gramma come down to my house*?"
Mom: "Hi honey! Sure I'll come down!"
Nephew: "My bought you**... "
[insert my sister's muffled voice, "No! Shhhh! Don't tell her!"]
Nephew: "Gramma come down!" CLICK

I have not yet called to find out how the day went. In the blog world, I was flattered that Alyson from Alyzabeth Ann left me such a sweet comment in the previous post. When I followed the link to her blog to catch up, I saw this post about another blogger's thoughts on acknowledging the losses of adoption as well as the gains. It was a wonderful post and spoke to my strong preferences for accepting the stark truths in life so that I can better cope. If you have read secret thoughts of an adoptive mother, then you know what I mean. And you'll know I have no patience for people who prefer that you try to paint infertility in rosy shades of opportunity or who become angry with someone who tries to fully understand and impart the full gamut of emotions involved in adoption.

Just a few things to think about this Mother's Day. Peace.


*My nephew does not yet understand how the phone works, and usually begins talking as it's ringing on his end. As a result, you have very little time to process that he's asked you a question when you pick up the phone, because by the time you're on the other end, he's past the introduction stage.

**He also currently inserts the word "My" where he should be using the word "I." It makes for some very cute and amusing conversations.

4 comments:

Kathy V said...

I don't know exatly what it is like to go through the adoption process and I don't necessarily try to understand but I think that process can be just as difficult as failed cycles and other loss. I am sorry for you that you had to go through another Mother's Day as a childless mom. I am glad you had a chance to celebrate your own mom. Your nephew sounds like a cute kid.

Malloryn said...

Your nephew sounds adorable!

Thanks for sharing that link on acknowledging the losses in adoption. It's good to see someone who is unafraid to speak openly about some of the downsides of the process. I prefer that over having everything sugar-coated.

HereWeGoAJen said...

Happy Mother's Day to you as a future mom.

I love the nephew's conversation.

Barb said...

Thanks Kathy, Malloryn and Jen! He is QUITE cute. :)

And I'm glad you prefer that Malloryn, b/c I'm pretty darn blunt sometimes. ;-)