Speaking of a girl who just had an ectopic pregnancy: "That's what she gets for telling everyone about the pregnancy that early!" (Yes - because God punishes you for excitement and not being a deathly terrified infertile.)
"All I'm saying is that when you stop trying so hard, you start to focus on yourself more and take care of yourself better. THAT'S why so many people get pregnant when they stop trying or go to adopt." (This from a woman who had a little trouble due to PCOS for a few months, went on Met and "fell" pregnant the second month on it. Very wise no?)
"Well he's a good color. It's nice that he's not SO dark. He's a nice in between and not too dark skinned."
(My elderly neighbor talking about my half Filipino baby. No words.)
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About Me
- Barb
- Lots of trying, angst, sadness, pain and procedures mixed with the happiest marriage and most fulfilling life I could hope to have. Now, after 4 years of hoping and praying, our little man is here - delivered Jan. 4th, 2010. Disbelief, craziness and joy. This blog serves as my outlet and record of my daily life - whether it be infertility related or not.
Infertility Awareness and Explanations
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7 comments:
I try so hard to be sympathetic and not judgy of people who are totally ignorant, but they just make it SO hard!
The last story reminds me of my sister's good friend, who, just before her wedding to a wonderful man who just happened to be Asian, received an anonymous letter from someone saying she was doing a terrible thing by "marrying outside her race" and (if I recall correctly) was going to ruin her future children's lives. She signed it "a concerned grandma". ::shudder::
Wow, the stupidity of people amazes me.
Sure, because when you adopt and become a new mom you have lots of time to focus on yourself and take care of yourself better. Hahahaha. I've had this one said to me more than a few times: "You know what's going to happen now. . ." Even when I say the percentage of people who get pregnant when they adopt after stopping fertility treatments is the same as the percentage who get pregnant after stopping fertility treatments without adopting, I get the knowing looks and stories. It's a very small percentage of people who fall pregnant after adopting, but it's hard to combat the myth because everyone seems to know one of those people. Which we know is bull sh*t. And then there's the whole undercurrent message that the kid you adopted isn't quite enough, that of course you must still be hoping for a biokid. Obviously, those kind of comments are a sore spot for me.
As for the other two comments, I don't even know what to say. The people they came from are just horribly ignorant or worse.
I know all. ugh.
It kills me too because you think I wasn't taking care of myself the WHOLE TIME we were trying in an attempt to "get it right?" And I love how people assume you must have been super crazy stressed right from the get go ttc. sigh.
p.s. Rebecca - one of my great aunts actually urged me to not marry Hub and to "think of the children!" as a reason.
omg... i mean, really...
Oh dear. Can I slap them?
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