The Good, the Bad and the Pretty Darn Beautiful

This weekend was very bittersweet. There was so much to be appreciated amongst so much bad luck. I'll start with the bad.

We recently found out that our real estate taxes went up more than they had estimated they would. On top of that, our mortgage company did not take enough out for escrow last year, so we owe them a short fall. If we stay with escrow, they want a 2 month cushion. Understandable. However, that would mean that our house payments (plus escrow) would go up over $300/month! There is no way in God's green Earth that we can afford to make those payments. If we pull out of escrow, we'd just owe the mortgage company the shortfall, and our payments would go up just a little. Then we'd have to save for taxes and insurance ourselves. There is so much to be considered here. No wonder people lose their houses when they could afford them initially! The county simply took a lot higher percentage rate this year than they said they would. How can we possibly know that's coming?? I'm going to have to work really hard to get overtime work, and DH is considering getting a second job. This means that even though state adoption is much more affordable for us, it's shelved until we can get a little more stable. This economy sucks giant hairy ones. I hate it.

Ready for the good? I thought so. On Monday I met up with a fellow infertile! Her name is Stephanie and we met through this blog. It was slightly spur of the moment, and I was very excited. For some inexplicable reason, I was all worried that she would think I looked ok and not too much like a goof. In general, I wanted her to like me since we seemed to have a lot in common through the 'net. This thinking is what led me to even wear mascara! I never wear mascara!! I neglected to mention this to her when she confessed to me that she wore lipstick for the same reason.

We met up at Panera Bread for some yummy soup and a nice long chat. She was very pretty and approachable, and surprisingly, very like I pictured her. The nice thing is that we were able to talk about our lives as a whole with infertility as a horrible part of it. I think now, I need people like that who have been in the trenches for a while. I can't focus solely on IF or I'll go crazy. Another nice thing is that I felt some of that "fellowship of IF" that I've felt with other people. The same happened when I met L at the acupuncture office, and when my local pharmacist chatted me up about IVF. There are just clues that IF veterans give off in certain situations that let you both know you have something in common. Then you can breathe and lower your walls. But those stories will come in another post.

For now, just know that it was wonderful to finally meet up with another IFer in person for a change. The other 2 women I've met have been very busy (happily since they are now pregnant!) and we've had a hard time catching up. We will probably meet again, and if anyone in the Central Florida area is interested, please contact me! You can find the info on the Stirrup Queen's website.

Furthermore, I met up with a long time friend today! To get to her, I got to drive through some of the unspoiled regions of Florida, and it eased my soul. Wetlands, forests, palmetto and scrub were a feast for the eyes. The weather has been absolutely beautiful; 70's, clear and sunny. We met in a quaint little historic district near the ocean, and she bought me some yummy Mexican food. Afterward we wandered the little shops where I found....

...YARN FOR MY SCARF! It's by Malabrigo, and it's scrumptious. I bought the variegated Merino color called stonechat. It was more than I should have spent, but I'll work extra or sell something else on ebay. It's entirely worth it.

So how's that for a bittersweet few days? There has been a lot of good. It's just that the bad is so bad that it barely balances. I know many many of us are in tough spots right now, so best wishes to us all.