- I know this in my head, but please tell me again so my emotional self understands it. We are not bad parents if our baby cries a little (in the this sucks! sorta way) when he's going to bed.
- Remember that E was so good once he finally started sleeping well away from me that he usually went to bed with no crying or complaints. Not so much now.
- Talk to me about issues/allergies with cow's milk. Thinking we may have some problems. We would like insight.
- I hate doctors that aren't my favorite doctors.
- E is in love with birds. A flock (I guess "murder" is the correct term, but I choose flock) of fish crows flew low over our heads as we sat outside the other day. He had been pointing out "Burr-ees" "Tee-ing" as he could find them, but when he saw that flock, he began flapping his hands, pointing at them excitedly and jibbering a whole story about it. He told the "story" to me many times that day and when Daddy came home, related it to him as well. Even now, a few days later, if you ask him to tell you about the birds, he points to the sky and jibbers.
- I love this child.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Stories and advice
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9 comments:
Okay, since you asked! It is totally normal to cry a little when falling asleep. Just because he had stopped for awhile never meant that it wouldn't happen again. It is not like you are letting him scream for hours. I know it must be extra hard for you since you are away at work a lot and then to have him CRY; well, it sucks. But it's normal, since they can't *really* talk. Jasper, my 2-year-old, cried for TWO SOLID YEARS until he learned to really speak in a way that we could understand him. And I don't think that it was anything we did; some kids are just more frustrated by their inability to communicate than are others. (Same with adults, come to think of it...)
Also: If the alternative is to pick him up and/or comfort him when he has trouble sleeping (which is probably part of what his crying signifies; frustration over not yet being asleep), then responding to his cries immediately may well only get him used to *needing* to be comforted to fall asleep, and TRUST ME from a lifelong insomniac whose parents have admitted to babying me for sleep when I was young -- you are doing your child a SERVICE by letting him learn to fall asleep on his own, even during a difficult phase.
Favourite doctors are amazing and wonderful, but bad doctors or even less-than-stellar doctors just come across as pompous windbags with a God complex. So yeah. I hear you.
Also, on your last post, you mentioned something about your house being a mess (or something)? Right there with ya, sister. Bleah.
You are absolutely not a bad parent if he cries. You are an amazing parent because you take everything to heart.
The Wolvog is allergic to milk, but we knew pretty much instantly. He would get a rash and throw up. We switched to a soy formula and he was fine. He still drinks soy milk instead of cow's milk. Though I'm sure you can also develop an allergy later in life.
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT IF HE CRIES!!! Oh honey... They cry; it's their way of talking and of self expression. They cant say "Oh just screw the world-i'm so tired and cant get to sleep-why cant i close my eyes-dammit!!!" so they cry. It's okay. You arent bad. :)
Milk allergies... Not sure what to tell you. Sick tummy, splotchy red spots, different than normal stools... those can be signs. I'm sorry I cant help on that one!
Elizabeth had problems with dairy, but she outgrew them when she was eighteen months. She could always handle a little, but it depended what it was and how much.
It is totally normal to cry before bed and it is even good. There is a kid I know that seems to be a tension decreaser, but her mom never lets her cry. As a result, she sleeps horribly. She's almost two and I don't think she sleeps more than a few hours at a time.
Babies and sleep are not a linear process. Jillian still goes through spells where she decides that bedtime sucks. And I have to let her cry to sleep. And I absolutely hate it. But if I give in, she'll push bedtime later and later, which doesn't work for anybody.
So stay strong. You aren't being a bad parent by letting him cry a little. You are helping him learn to sleep which is an important life skill!
Amen to sleep not being linear. It constantly changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Just remember that this too, shall pass. Sounds trite, but honestly...in a few weeks sleep won't even be an issue and you'll be wondering about something else instead!
Nope, your son crying when he first goes to bed does not make you a bad parent. Its like a little tantrum on his part and he's hoping you will feel bad enough to come get him out of bed to play with you some more.
The best part about being a parent after being infertile is that you can look back and say everything you went through was absolutely worth it.
It is totally normal to cry at bedtime!! I've noticed that when Skeeter cries the most is when he's overtired and has trouble falling asleep. Then I feel guilty for putting him to bed so late. The guilt always finds it way in, huh?
Skeeter is starting to watch birds in the sky, too. It amazes me how he can see them sometimes! I guess I've been so busy being a grown-up, I forgotten to stop and enjoy little things like that.
Don't you ever need to release tension or get some things under control before you can allow your mind to go to sleep? I believe that's what Ewan's doing. He loves being with Mom & Dad so much that it's distressing to leave you at night for bed. Don't worry. I've said it before - you are a wonderful and attentive mother.
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