Monday, November 30, 2009

Disbelief

I am now almost 9 months pregnant. Work is getting increasingly difficult, my belly is growing by leaps and bounds and ripples around of its own accord, and our house is turning into a family home. Yet I still sometimes find it completely incredible that I'm going to be giving birth imminently. How is that? I have flashes where I fully comprehend it. Then the emotions almost sweep me away. But they are usually just that - flashes. A lot of the rest of the time I spend in a sort of dazed disbelief that this is actually happening to me. We are going to have a baby. He will be our son. I feel unbelievably lucky, blessed, excited, grateful and awestruck. Will I ever fully comprehend and believe it? When I'm holding him, will I feel like someone's going to smack me awake? We see him again on our (final!) ultrasound this week. Will it sink in for real then?

Is this a similar feeling for everyone? Or is it a sub-fertile's weirdness?

12 comments:

HereWeGoAJen said...

Hah. I still don't always believe it.

Michele said...

Those feelings dont go away once they are born. I still look at Bobby and Maya is sheer awe.

Michelle said...

I think it is the same for everyone. My sister felt the same way and with both of her kids. I do think we as infertiles probably feel it even more so...but that is a theory since I have yet to experience it.

I am so excited for you!

Karen said...

I'm not sure about the giving birth part, but I know it felt surreal when we got P. I couldn't believe it was finally happening.

Geohde said...

I felt the same, and even weirder when I had to call myself 'saag and naan's mum' in public.

g

calliope said...

it will blow your mind forever. I get like barfy emotional when I think about W. And I also get like smooooshy excited when I think of you guys and what is about to happen. yay!!

Chelle said...

I still have days where I stare at my daughter in disbelief. Actually, that would be every day. I am still awestruck that she is here and she is MINE. I CREATED her. It seems like I will feel that way forever. I love it.

Liz said...

So close ...

Kristin said...

I think that feeling of disbelief is exaggerated when you've dealt with sub/infertility. I know that even though I had 2 boys at home, I didn't truly believe I was going to get to bring my post-IF baby home until I actually held him for the first time.

Malloryn said...

It still doesn't seem real to me sometimes. I'm getting so excited for you!

Rebecca said...

It still hasn't sunk in and my first baby is two and a half.

Congratulations on almost nine months! wow!

Barb said...

Thanks for all your sharing and heartfelt comments!
XOXO