Bringing Peace

The anxiety and weepiness (along with the leaky boobs that always seem to accompany them) have been creeping back in lately. I've had some shattering nightmares that I don't wish to share. However, the night before last, after a bad dream, I dreamed of my Grandfather. He came, wrapped his arms around me, and soothed it all away. He said, "I'm so very proud of you, and I love you." I'm thankful.

Hub

I just realized that I have not "gold-starred" Hub in a long time. Oops! Sorry hubby. It's only because he's been so damn awesome lately that I just can't pick out individual things. I have to say though that he's been great this weekend. He heeded my warnings that things were emotionally rocky and managed to keep it all cool. He massaged my achy back not once but probably 4 times, and he hung up that stupid shelf even though he didn't want to when I finally figured out a way to get it secure.

There's my OCD (take note Jen) - things being in their place once they have a place. I can't hack it. Our calendar had fallen down, and I couldn't find the tack that held it up. It was our last tack. It was a niggling annoyance until I bought more yesterday and fixed the problem. I can seriously now rest easier. Sick huh?

Letters to Babybutt

Dear Baby,

Your elbows and knees are very bony. And you're very squirmy.

Love,
M

Randomness - Because you haven't had much lately

Hub was super cute at our hospital tour tonight. He was so excited. It makes me so very happy to see him that happy about all this. Being in the delivery room made it all seem exciting and frighteningly real. I think we're ready though. I want him to bake a few more weeks, but then we're on! Oh, and I'm so happy to be giving birth in the hospital while it's so beautifully decorated for Christmas. It makes it so special. They say the decorations will be up until mid-January.

Also, I am currently obsessed with oranges and peanut butter and chocolate sandwiches. Oh yes, you heard correctly. You take bakery bread (other bread doesn't work as well), slather some Smucker's non sugar peanut butter on it, then sprinkle a few semi-sweet chocolate chips on top of that and fold it in half. Then you put it in the microwave for 10 seconds. It comes out in delicious peanut butter, chocolaty goodness. Why do these things work for my gut and others don't? I haven't the faintest clue. This one is fairly new.

36 Week Ultrasound and Check-Up

OK, so we're not quite to 36 weeks, but this was the best compromise. We saw the little munchkin face today!!! They are estimating that right now he weighs between 5.5 and 6.5 pounds, which puts him in the 68th percentile. He's head down and will most likely stay that way until delivery. He also lived up to his reputation for being squirmy and discontent during ultrasound and doppler reads. We saw him move his arms, fold his hand over his rib cage, make suckling movements, practice "breathing," and turn his mouth down in what looked like a pout. It broke my heart, but was so cute at the same time! How appropriate considering I was just talking about how I found out that they cry in utero.

The amniotic fluid looks good. He's making all kinds of signs that he's healthy neurologically. The placenta is in an optimum position, and his heart looks excellent. We had a really good ultrasound tech who cooed over him and gave us all sorts of information about how good everything looked. It made me so happy. Most of them won't tell you if everything is ok. From what we can tell, it looks like he still has Hub's nose and possibly my chin. The cheeks are nice and round too. We love a cute, dimply baby. I cannot WAIT to meet him. In fact, wonderfulOB says he thinks that even if he went next week everything would be fine and that he's ready. NEXT WEEK?!?!? Holy crap time flies.

So without further ado, I present you with the money shot:

I know it can be hard to see, but basically you can just see his nose, lips and cheeks in the center of the shot squished between the tissue. His eyes are in shadow.

Moving Up in the World

First of all, I have a very important announcement. HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH THE GREAT!

Now on to the lesser things...
Thanks to Jen, we have a new bed frame! Our mattress was on the floor before because we upgraded in size, and paying for a bed frame just wasn't up there on the priority list. Wouldn't you know that mattresses are WAY more comfortable in a frame? Perhaps it's because that's where they're meant to be? I used to always complain about rolling toward Hub when there was supposed to be a divider. But now that the divider can actually be effective, I don't roll toward him anymore! I have my own little pocket of sleepy heaven. Ever since we put up that frame, I've been sleeping longer and more deeply. There have been much fewer 4am wake-ups and much less difficulty falling asleep. I still have times when I have to get up and move around, but the sciatica isn't nearly as intense at night now. I even noticed that I'm back to somewhat sleep walking to the bathroom. When I got up before, I was always wide awake for my hourly potty trips. I just wasn't sleeping deeply enough.

Don't get me wrong, sleep is still a challenge a lot of the time, but oh it's so much nicer with a lovely bed. On top of THAT, Hub found a fabulous black Friday deal on a dishwasher! HURRAY! We had one. It was harvest gold circa 1982. We did a lot of rewashing and tasting soap. Our new black one is being delivered today, and I'm SO excited. Now we'll just have the stove left. It's ok so far but has been showing its age a bit lately. Hopefully it holds on there for just a little longer until we can afford that last big kitchen expenditure. We mean to redo the kitchen completely, but that's not in the cards for quite a bit.

Letters to Babybutt

Dear Babybutt,

The other night I was reading about the different stages of labor. I read that emotionally, near the end of it I may have a sudden surge of excitement that I'm about to meet you. That hit home for me very suddenly. My heart beat sped up, and I got all breathless with the idea of seeing you for the first time. It was one of the first times I've felt that intensely and gave me a taste of what it will be like having you in my life. I also read that you probably cry in the womb, and that made me cry. It's already hard that sometimes things upset you, and I can't do anything to help! I'm sorry. Just know that I love you very much no matter what. I'll always do my best with you. I know that there will be times I fail, but know that I'm always trying my best to give you the love, support and comfort you deserve.

Love you lots and lots forever and ever.
M