Saturday, July 19, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Fun with Words at Wordle
Found this through We Are what we Repeatedly Do, and Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies.
Love it. Thanks girls.
Recap
I'm still recovering. I am breathing much easier, but I still have an earache and a pressurized noggin. Hubbs has been sweet as always. I think tomorrow will be a somewhat normal day, thank God.
Grandfather's ceremony was the perfect tribute to such a wonderful man. It was also the perfect closure for me at least. It involved a little chapel, a moving ceremony, a horse drawn caisson complete with brass band leading, a rifle salute and taps played by a military trumpeter. It was all a little surreal to me until I saw his photo. That photo jerked me back into the reality that this was for my Grandfather. I think I sometimes still expect to see him in his favorite chair when I visit.
It was really nice to see my Dad's side of the family again as well. It was particularly nice to get all the first cousins together. It's been a long time since that has happened. As I thought, it was a little difficult to field a few wonderings as to why his first grandchild had not yet produced a great grandchild. Mostly though, it was just difficult inside myself. I very much mourn the lost opportunity to share that with my Grandfather and with my future child. I know they would love each other on sight. And now, the 2 remaining grandparents between Hubbs and I are in their 80's. Not only that, but many of my great aunts and uncles are passing away and are older as well. I know we can't look to the past all the time, but it's just difficult.
On the other end of my visit, I got to see much of my Mother's family. It was hard the first time I walked into Aunt's house expecting to see her in the living room. It was hard for Uncle too. He had to choke back tears a few times. But Pennsylvania was beautiful as it always is in the summer, and we had a lot of fun visiting. Most of the fun involved playing with my Nephew and his little dog. What a sweet duo they make. I know I'm biased, but believe me when I say that my nephew is the smartest, sweetest little boy around. ;) I had a hard time holding back tears when we left. I know a lot of that was tied up in not having a child of my own to return to as well.
All in all, it was a good trip, but left me feeling a bit unsettled. I think Hubbs and I need to sit down and make a very concrete plan for the next step now, complete with dates. My happiness with inertia is coming to an end. And please forgive me if my writing is a bit muddled. I'm finding that my brain still isn't firing quite right because of all the gook that's clogging it.
Grandfather's ceremony was the perfect tribute to such a wonderful man. It was also the perfect closure for me at least. It involved a little chapel, a moving ceremony, a horse drawn caisson complete with brass band leading, a rifle salute and taps played by a military trumpeter. It was all a little surreal to me until I saw his photo. That photo jerked me back into the reality that this was for my Grandfather. I think I sometimes still expect to see him in his favorite chair when I visit.
It was really nice to see my Dad's side of the family again as well. It was particularly nice to get all the first cousins together. It's been a long time since that has happened. As I thought, it was a little difficult to field a few wonderings as to why his first grandchild had not yet produced a great grandchild. Mostly though, it was just difficult inside myself. I very much mourn the lost opportunity to share that with my Grandfather and with my future child. I know they would love each other on sight. And now, the 2 remaining grandparents between Hubbs and I are in their 80's. Not only that, but many of my great aunts and uncles are passing away and are older as well. I know we can't look to the past all the time, but it's just difficult.
On the other end of my visit, I got to see much of my Mother's family. It was hard the first time I walked into Aunt's house expecting to see her in the living room. It was hard for Uncle too. He had to choke back tears a few times. But Pennsylvania was beautiful as it always is in the summer, and we had a lot of fun visiting. Most of the fun involved playing with my Nephew and his little dog. What a sweet duo they make. I know I'm biased, but believe me when I say that my nephew is the smartest, sweetest little boy around. ;) I had a hard time holding back tears when we left. I know a lot of that was tied up in not having a child of my own to return to as well.
All in all, it was a good trip, but left me feeling a bit unsettled. I think Hubbs and I need to sit down and make a very concrete plan for the next step now, complete with dates. My happiness with inertia is coming to an end. And please forgive me if my writing is a bit muddled. I'm finding that my brain still isn't firing quite right because of all the gook that's clogging it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
By Head Hurds
I'm back from my visit home and my Grandfather's Arlington ceremony. I go back to work tomorrow and had these grand plans of releasing all the pent up thoughts I've had for the past week or so. However, I came back carrying my first cold bug in years. Damn it. My ears ring, my head pounds, my eyes water, and I speak like a toddler who can't pronounce the letter "M." I'm at that very unpretty stage. You know it. It's the one where you're forced to shove tissues up your nostrils in a vain attempt at a moment's relief. Like I said: unpretty.
I hope this eases soon. In the meantime, I am going to attempt to catch up on everything I've missed while I was gone.
I hope this eases soon. In the meantime, I am going to attempt to catch up on everything I've missed while I was gone.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Holiday Wishes
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY to the UNITED STATES!
HAPPY CANADA DAY to the CANADIANS I missed on JULY 1st!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Nature fun from our wanderings this week
A gorgeous rattlesnake by the side of the road in one of our favorite Florida State Parks
Marsh rabbits have got to be some of the cutest rabbits there are.
Marsh rabbits have got to be some of the cutest rabbits there are.
Whirlwind
This coming week I head up to see my Grandfather's burial in Arlington National Cemetery. I'm sure it will be emotional enough that it will prompt some deep posts. Either that, or I'll find it too overwhelming to post anything. We shall see.
I hope there aren't too many questions about why we don't have babies. Many of the people who will be there know the story, so maybe that won't be the case. All attention should be on recent additions to the family anyway. Hubs and I are moving closer to some ideas on what we're trying next. I think we've both agreed that there will be more trying. This current cycle doesn't seem to be the best either, so that's dimming our hope of my cycles fixing themselves and us having a wonderful "surprise." When will we ever learn eh?
Our dear friends have made it safely back across the ocean. We miss them, and they're already planning to come back when it's not so hot. (Hot in Florida? Never. ;) They are such knowledgeable and interesting people. It's so nice to discuss life with them. They have faced some of what we have with concern over possible inability to have biological children. They really do get it. It's always somewhat healing to talk to another woman about that subject and see in her eyes that she's felt the same pain you have. It's a bonding experience I wish we never shared, but it does bring you closer.
I've been popping in here and there to check in on you all. It's hard to keep up right now. Bear with me. I even have other ideas for posts, but they swirl around in my head and don't get written because of the whirlwind that is my current existence.
I hope there aren't too many questions about why we don't have babies. Many of the people who will be there know the story, so maybe that won't be the case. All attention should be on recent additions to the family anyway. Hubs and I are moving closer to some ideas on what we're trying next. I think we've both agreed that there will be more trying. This current cycle doesn't seem to be the best either, so that's dimming our hope of my cycles fixing themselves and us having a wonderful "surprise." When will we ever learn eh?
Our dear friends have made it safely back across the ocean. We miss them, and they're already planning to come back when it's not so hot. (Hot in Florida? Never. ;) They are such knowledgeable and interesting people. It's so nice to discuss life with them. They have faced some of what we have with concern over possible inability to have biological children. They really do get it. It's always somewhat healing to talk to another woman about that subject and see in her eyes that she's felt the same pain you have. It's a bonding experience I wish we never shared, but it does bring you closer.
I've been popping in here and there to check in on you all. It's hard to keep up right now. Bear with me. I even have other ideas for posts, but they swirl around in my head and don't get written because of the whirlwind that is my current existence.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
