Ugh*

Hub said to me today, "I think the Met changed your voice. It sounds different. It's a lot more whiny than usual." Smartass.

The problem is, he's right. (Please don't tell him I said that.) I have been in turns nauseous, fatigued, hungry, apathetic about food, hopeful, despairing, carb fearing and carb craving. I started out all cocky and confident. That confidence led me to eat a huge bowl of whole wheat spaghetti early on. That was not a good decision. I spent days wondering if my stomach would ever quiet again. On top of that, I had a lot of foggy headed drowsiness.

So my next step was to FEAR carbs. They were the enemy - the sweet, delicious enemy - but the enemy just the same. I bought lots of high protein snacks, foods and drinks. I ate them with relish. I ate them until I felt that if I saw one more almond or piece of baked fish I might yack. I yearned for rice, potatoes, corn chips for Pete's sake! But my stomach was fairly still, so I resisted.

Then I became even more listless and crabby. I felt nauseous often and just not quite right. I wanted carbs with a vengeance that bordered on obsession. We had a meal with rice a few nights ago. I devoured that rice. I would like to say I chewed it with heavenly abandon, but it was more like greedy glee. I didn't overindulge, but man did that rice make a difference. The craving didn't stop there, so I started allowing more carbs back in bit by bit. I started feeling better and my intestines didn't revolt! Now I have to be careful not to binge because man do I want to.

It's so difficult to balance this. It's so individual and such a royal P.I.T.A. I've learned that I, like many others, cannot tolerate too much lettuce while on Met. Sigh. But I can handle some dairy and some white grains. Kashi whole grains seem to be the best though. I can also cheat like crazy if I do it very very carefully when the sun sets on the third Sunday in June. I can't take my first dose at breakfast. My digestive system takes offense to something that jolting so early in the morning. But I CAN take it about 40 minutes after lunch. My evening dose is best done with milk, right before bed.

Beside the whole eating mess, there's another side to the Met that has me frustrated and cranky. Since I've started it, I have very little interest in the finer (or should I say baser?) aspects of married life. And the few times I do, my pesky stomach often protests if it's jostled or touched to much. Can anyone tell me how conducive that is to creating a child???

So yes, I'm whiny. And cranky. And hungry and pissy and worried this will just be like every other treatment. I'll go through lots of shit and self sacrifice for absolutely nothing.

*Yes that's all I can muster for a title. Wanna make somethin' of it?