Tuesday, September 25, 2007

First Ever Poll & a Mish Mash of Thoughts

I had noticed that many of us with some sort of reproductive or thyroid autoimmune issue seem to also deal with eczema, which is also thought to be autoimmune disorder related. I have had it all my life. My most chronic spot is the back of my head, but it has found its way into my ears and onto my eyelids (ouch!) in the past. I can be very thankful that mine is a fairly mild sort. I'm curious to see how many of us with fertility issues also have eczema, so I put up my first ever poll (located on the sidebar)! Please share!!

I think, thanks to my new fatigued state, that I'm back into my depression round again. I rather liked the anger. It was very invigorating. Oh well. Part of it too is that I'm on round two (or is it three?) of "people who decided to start trying after you and are now expecting babies." The first time I experienced that, it stung, but I handled it. That group now has beautiful babes in arms from their efforts. Now most of the new group is already well on the way to delivery, with some coming up right behind them. There are no less than 5 close friends/family expecting now, and most of them were blessed very quickly upon deciding to conceive. Thank goodness almost all of them are close to me, so the sting is less. I feel like such a heel, but I've described my disgruntled attitude this way:

It's as if you're standing in a really long line at the DMV for your first license at 16. You stand patiently and do everything you can to cooperate with the people there so that you won't be delayed any longer. You repeatedly approach the window, only to be told there's another form to fill out. You obediently do so, and patiently get back in the long line. Just as you fill out what you think may be the last form, someone rushes in, knocks you down and takes your spot in line. As you lie there on the floor, you burn in frustration and jealousy.


It's weird I know, but it often really does feel like you've been shoved in line. And like I said, I feel like a total heel for having those emotions. The best I can do though, is be very honest with those close to me about them and hope they can put up with me. Thank God most of the people pregnant right now (minus Pregzilla) have been complete angels about all this despite the fact that they are dealing with their own problems. I can't thank them enough for their kindness and patience.

I DO have a fun barbecue at work tomorrow, and a really fun surprise for Thursday. So I promise the next few posts won't be so down.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yup... I have issues with my skin as well...mainly on my elbows and lower legs.

I tried to vote but I got an Error message

Me said...

I don't have skin issues.

As for the waiting in line analogy - I think that is a very good one. It describes EXACTLY how I feel and, in fact, I have used a similar example myself. I *know* life isn't fair. But sometimes I just feel so frustrated by the fact that no matter how much I work toward it, I don't seem to be getting any closer to the head of the line. Yet some people barely have to try at all and/or are actively trying NOT to but it happens for them. Why. But of course, there is no answer, it just is what it is. What a frustrating and unfulfilling truth that is! ;-P

AwkwardMoments said...

I can relate to teh baby rounds, I started long ago.. and i am still waiting whilest my friends are on baby 2, 3 and 4! I feel completely lapped and angry sometimes

Kristen said...

Sorry for the delay, I'm just now catching up on my reading! I have not had skin issues, aside from the usual breakouts around ovulation and AF.

The waiting in line analogy is certainly relatable. I feel like that about getting a baby. Everyone else steals my spot in line when it comes to picking up a pregnancy. I've been lapped a few times and it sucks donkey balls.

Heather said...

You are NOT a heel. I *heart* you!!

Barb said...

Awww Thanks Heath! I know when Heath uses slang that she must really love me. ;-)

Seriously. It means lots.

Thanks Melissa, Fertilize me, Kristin and Taina (great minds think alike. ;-) )! So sorry you're still waiting with me girls. :(

Anonymous said...

I've been plagued by psoriasis since I was a teenager and am prone to minor spots of excema during hayfever season.I believe there's a direct correlation to thyroid issues with all 3 of those complaints. I'm actually excited to think that once we get the Hashi's sorted, I may lose all the other little annoying health issues.