Tuesday, June 29, 2010
GREAT company and shopping!
I got to hang out with two other great mommies of like mind today! AND, if you want a cheap car seat.... Safety First is discontinuing the harvest color of their Complete Air convertible car seat. Babies R Us has it on clearance, PLUS right now there's an extra 25% off, PLUS you can use their 20% off coupons on top of it! I got it for just over $100 with tax!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOT! We will see if we like it, and if we don't, we can return it. But I couldn't pass up that deal.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Gold Star for the Hub! (It's been too long!)
I love you Hub - for so many things. But I most especially love you right now for these:
.
- Tidying up the house.
- Taking the baby to daycare every day with good humor and love.
- Refilling the hand soap.
- Remembering the trash bags I missed.
- Dealing with the laundry.
- Being interested in completing home improvement projects.
- Being so very present in my and E's lives.
- Changing E's diaper just as much as I do.
- Rubbing my head with compassion when I'm tired.
- Telling me that we make a good parenting team.
- Taking ownership of certain daily responsibilities so they aren't on my shoulders and mind.
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Mr. Mayer's Gender Lesson
If you'll remember, I have this weird prickly thing about the social stigma differences on girls verses boys. So yeah, I am a little quick to jump when I hear or see something that offends me in that area. A song I have not been able to escape is Daughters by John Mayer. It has been played to death as popular radio stations tend to do. Ah homogeneity; isn't it grand? But aside from that annoyance, there is a section of the song I just can't get over. I appreciate most of what he's saying. Treat your daughters well Dads. Have care that what you do affects them and that they carry that into their other relationships. I appreciate that he sees women as having "good good hearts" and all that. But one stanza really gets me. Peruse for yourselves:
So boys you can break hm? Just treat them however so that they will be "tough?" I guess they don't carry that on into other relationships. Besides, they'll just be strong and soldier on? Oh that's right, boys have the special genitalia that allows them to deal with pain and hardship, unlike girls. But oh wait, girls are the ones who bear those boys and isn't that a bit of a challenge?
Hmph. I know I'm being a little bit curmudgeonly here, but seriously - I get from this that girls are sweet and soft and should be treated with kid gloves and boys are rough and tumble and should show a stiff upper lip no matter what you do to them. Looking at his romantic history, it strikes me that Mr. Mayer may need to revise his perspective.
Sorry. The annoyance with this has been building for a long, long time. Had to get it out.
'Til later,
FCiF
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
So boys you can break hm? Just treat them however so that they will be "tough?" I guess they don't carry that on into other relationships. Besides, they'll just be strong and soldier on? Oh that's right, boys have the special genitalia that allows them to deal with pain and hardship, unlike girls. But oh wait, girls are the ones who bear those boys and isn't that a bit of a challenge?
Hmph. I know I'm being a little bit curmudgeonly here, but seriously - I get from this that girls are sweet and soft and should be treated with kid gloves and boys are rough and tumble and should show a stiff upper lip no matter what you do to them. Looking at his romantic history, it strikes me that Mr. Mayer may need to revise his perspective.
Sorry. The annoyance with this has been building for a long, long time. Had to get it out.
'Til later,
FCiF
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Work Angst
Me: E loves the train you got him! And the clothes are adorable!
Her: Oh really? Hm. I don't remember what I got him.
Me: Look at this adorable video. He giggles now!
Her: uhhuh (Later to someone else: What's the big deal about laughing? My kids laugh all the time. They aren't babies by the way.)
Me: E is so attached and lovey. And he has such strong opinions on what he wants!
Her: Oh Barb for Pete's sake. Babies don't develop a personality until age 2. He just has tendencies right now. (Apparently according to her, if they can't talk, they aren't really worth it.)
Her: We've thought about adopting a baby. (Even though she says she doesn't want an infant at all.)
Me: Oh! You'd do great! Around 4 months I think things even out, and now at this age, he's SO much fun and awesome and...
Her: Look. I'm happy you love your baby and enjoy him. Good for you. But I just don't want one. I know I could do it if I HAD to, but I don't care about it.
Me: But you just said.......
This hurts me. A lot. I know it's crazy, but it hurts me for him because we are each other if you know what I mean. I am him and he is me. I know he doesn't care, but he's the love of my life, so of course I care. It also hurts because before I went on maternity leave, she was super lovey with me and always asking what the gender was, how things were going etc. She made me feel like we were going to be "great friends" as she said. When I came back, things quickly changed. And THAT'S how I know she thinks I suck with how I parent even though she has no experience with babies, only children. And she thinks since she regularly goes on cruises and does overnight parties without her kids (she is a good Mom though), that I suck because I can't do that right now.
And I just realized that one of the reasons I feel so off at work a lot of times is because I'm missing a vital part of myself while I'm there - for 12 hours. It's hard to learn to function as a whole being without that part of me again, but I'm getting better.
Her: Oh really? Hm. I don't remember what I got him.
Me: Look at this adorable video. He giggles now!
Her: uhhuh (Later to someone else: What's the big deal about laughing? My kids laugh all the time. They aren't babies by the way.)
Me: E is so attached and lovey. And he has such strong opinions on what he wants!
Her: Oh Barb for Pete's sake. Babies don't develop a personality until age 2. He just has tendencies right now. (Apparently according to her, if they can't talk, they aren't really worth it.)
Her: We've thought about adopting a baby. (Even though she says she doesn't want an infant at all.)
Me: Oh! You'd do great! Around 4 months I think things even out, and now at this age, he's SO much fun and awesome and...
Her: Look. I'm happy you love your baby and enjoy him. Good for you. But I just don't want one. I know I could do it if I HAD to, but I don't care about it.
Me: But you just said.......
This hurts me. A lot. I know it's crazy, but it hurts me for him because we are each other if you know what I mean. I am him and he is me. I know he doesn't care, but he's the love of my life, so of course I care. It also hurts because before I went on maternity leave, she was super lovey with me and always asking what the gender was, how things were going etc. She made me feel like we were going to be "great friends" as she said. When I came back, things quickly changed. And THAT'S how I know she thinks I suck with how I parent even though she has no experience with babies, only children. And she thinks since she regularly goes on cruises and does overnight parties without her kids (she is a good Mom though), that I suck because I can't do that right now.
And I just realized that one of the reasons I feel so off at work a lot of times is because I'm missing a vital part of myself while I'm there - for 12 hours. It's hard to learn to function as a whole being without that part of me again, but I'm getting better.
Friday, June 25, 2010
It IS Hard. Lovely, but Hard.
As I posted in her comments section, I've written versions of this post so many times in my head but never posted it here due to a lot of the things she's mentioned. A lot of it is why I've had such a hard time finding where I "fit" again and why I've felt lonely. Caution: Lots of triggers.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Diaper Review
After using Huggies Pure and Natural and Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive, here is my final take. Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive size Newborn through 2 held leaks better, fit the baby better and seemed more comfortable. They had a slightly more chemical smell than the Huggies, but not enough to make me not want to use them.
Now on size 3, the Pampers have the "drymax technology" instead of the mesh liner etc. The absorbent material does not go the whole way up the back of the diaper, and the band to keep leaks in at the top isn't as secure in my opinion as with the Huggies. The Huggies fit much better now that he's larger. They're more narrow through the middle, but that doesn't seem to stop them from catching leaks. He seems more comfortable with a narrow diaper now. It's not so bulky. The Huggies are more expensive, but absorb far more urine in my experience than the Pampers, so it makes up for it. And finally, the biggest deciding factor is that the Pampers reek, while the Huggies have very little smell at all and feel very soft. When we use the Pampers we have to be careful not to let him wear them too long because he gets red much faster. With the Huggies, overnight is not a problem.
As for BumGenius 3.0, we love them when they work. However, E seems to go through growth stages where he's in between sizes and fits on that adjustable diaper. When he's in the in between stage, they leak through the legs or up the back like crazy. When he's fitting fine, they are wonderfully absorbent and hold leaks well. He seems comfortable in them. He never gets diaper rash in them, and they're cute!
That's my 2 cents for what it's worth.
Now on size 3, the Pampers have the "drymax technology" instead of the mesh liner etc. The absorbent material does not go the whole way up the back of the diaper, and the band to keep leaks in at the top isn't as secure in my opinion as with the Huggies. The Huggies fit much better now that he's larger. They're more narrow through the middle, but that doesn't seem to stop them from catching leaks. He seems more comfortable with a narrow diaper now. It's not so bulky. The Huggies are more expensive, but absorb far more urine in my experience than the Pampers, so it makes up for it. And finally, the biggest deciding factor is that the Pampers reek, while the Huggies have very little smell at all and feel very soft. When we use the Pampers we have to be careful not to let him wear them too long because he gets red much faster. With the Huggies, overnight is not a problem.
As for BumGenius 3.0, we love them when they work. However, E seems to go through growth stages where he's in between sizes and fits on that adjustable diaper. When he's in the in between stage, they leak through the legs or up the back like crazy. When he's fitting fine, they are wonderfully absorbent and hold leaks well. He seems comfortable in them. He never gets diaper rash in them, and they're cute!
That's my 2 cents for what it's worth.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sleep and Love
For those books that say if a baby falls asleep on his own in a certain location that he won't wake up crying - speak for yourselves. E has been doing a great job at falling asleep in his crib for a while now, but the longest he sleeps in it without waking up crying is about an hour and a half.
I'm not upset though. I think the kid has made great strides by falling asleep on his own and not needing to be held so much. I thank him for giving me all that time of rocking and cuddling because now he doesn't want or need it as much, and he's only 5.5 months old! The older he gets, the more closely I grip his chubby body and the more fervently I shower his cheeks with kisses. It goes so fast!
I'm not upset though. I think the kid has made great strides by falling asleep on his own and not needing to be held so much. I thank him for giving me all that time of rocking and cuddling because now he doesn't want or need it as much, and he's only 5.5 months old! The older he gets, the more closely I grip his chubby body and the more fervently I shower his cheeks with kisses. It goes so fast!
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