Doctor says this baby isn't ready to come out any time soon he thinks. We will discuss Options (yes with a capital O) if it comes to that. All of my pre-labor signs have abandoned me. Thanks body. Ah, I guess I forgive you. You have done a good job of creating him and keeping him safe so far even if you end up needing help bringing him out to live with us.
We are such huge party animals, we are doing the usual (for me at least, Hub would often like more raucous entertainment.) We went out for dinner and now we are waiting for midnight to do sparklers and some whirly things. A nearby property also sets off fireworks that we can see from our driveway. Yes, this is the life.
A Warning: We went to Red Lobster for dinner. I've always found it sufficiently good - especially the biscuits. However, be warned to check your local menu before you go out. They drastically reduced ours. There is still plenty of seafood, but almost nothing for people who prefer non-seafood. Why do we go there you ask? Why because Hub likes it of course, and I like him to be happy. I also like the aforementioned biscuits. But there were literally three chicken choices on the menu: chicken finger appetizers, chicken ceasar salad and a chicken linguine alfredo. Throw in the fact that I suffer from some lactose intolerance, and that does not a happy selection make. They also took out ALL of their dinner salads except the chicken ceasar and drastically reduced their dressing selection. There was no Italian, so they gave me raspberry vinaigrette as a replacement without asking me. YUCK I say. I do NOT like fruit flavored dressing. My salad also had quite a few leaves that had obviously been frozen as they were transparent and floppy/crispy.
And finally, the portions were much smaller than was warranted by the price, and remember how the mashed potatoes used to be yummy? They were garlic if I remember correctly. Now they are QUITE obviously instant. It pretty much tasted the same as if I bought a box of instant and whipped them up myself. I'm sorry, but the potato snob in me (remember my awesome ones from Thanksgiving) will not allow me to let that slide for the price paid.
I know they have to try to make ends meet in lean times, but I just can't imagine paying for that food and selection again.
Otherwise - HAPPY NEW YEAR! haha. We do have LOTS AND LOTS to be thankful for in this year, and I couldn't be more pleased. Be safe and enjoy.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Jumble of Thoughts from Yesterday
The hormones they must be a-changin again. I seem to be in the midst of some no-crazy, which is perfect timing because I was worried about the woe is me I'm home alone crap that happens when I feel like that. (Because I'm off work now!! WOOT! Just in time to save my horribly aching body!) And last night, I did not have night sweats! It's the little things don't ya know. Unfortunately, the random grumpy remains. I just hope this doesn't mean that things continue to NOT happen in there. I have an appointment today. We shall see.
It was very bittersweet to leave my work people last night knowing that I won't be there again for months. I do love my job, and they have been so very good to me. At the same time though, I had definitely reached the limit of my ability to do that job with any sort of efficacy. And the fatigue was awful and caused me emotional stress all day long. Had they not been so kind, things could have been bad.
Note, however, that every place has its annoying person/people, and I'm about to tell you of one of them. She just started on the team and appeared to me by behavior to be about 15, experience perhaps 22 and looks - maybe 24. I can handle her when working only in a professional capacity. When she turns personal, I have to watch my reactions. The interactions I'm about to describe have taken place plenty of times with me reacting to them in different ways in the hopes of diminishing their frequency. Obviously my methods have not yet worked. Here's how much of yesterday went:
Nice co-worker #1: So what does it FEEL like when he kicks? Does it hurt? Can you feel actual body parts from the outside? Is it weird?
Me: As dumb as it sounds, it feels exactly like you would think. It's like there's a little person inside you, bones and all pushing and poking. And no it doesn't hurt anymore unless he gets a tender spot... etc etc.
Annoying co-worker: (just walking in) EEEEEEEEEWWWW! SO GROSS! Ugh.
Me: Silence and completely ignoring (had been my latest tactic)
Later....
Nice co-worker #2: How have you been feeling? Is the pressure getting worse? Have you noticed any contractions increasing?
Annoying co-worker: (again - walking into our conversation) That is just TOO CREEPY. Yuck.
Me: silence
In the company vehicle at the end of the day when I am just DONE....
Nice co-worker #3: So why DO you burn so many calories breast feeding?
Me: Well, you're making sustenance for another human being from your own stores. That takes a lot of energy! And as they need more, you need to make more etc..
Annoying co-worker: Oh my GOD, SO SO GROOOOOOOOOOSSSSS! (and on and on.. not exaggerating I promise you)
Me: REALLY? Really? It isn't GROSS, it's what we DO. We're MAMMALS. We make MILK for our young. How are you from a science background and don't understand this?
Her: But it IS gross. It's just disgusting!
Me: It's what cows do. It's what horses do.
Her: EEEEEEEEWWWW
Me: It's a natural process. It's just ridiculous to be so grossed out by it and so vocal about that to someone you barely know who's doing it. (In my head: If you don't like to talk about it, leave or politely ask if we can change the subject)
Nice co-worker #3: Well, I know I am freaked out a bit by it and right now feel like I couldn't do it (in a slightly hurt tone)
Me: I completely understand that. It's totally normal to feel all those things. What I DON'T understand is thinking it's so incredibly abhorrent and unnatural that you can't even think or talk about it and that you'd express that to my face so obviously. It would be like me saying you hate your future babies for being scared of breast feeding... which I do NOT do.
By the way... annoying co-worker's actual age? 28.
It was very bittersweet to leave my work people last night knowing that I won't be there again for months. I do love my job, and they have been so very good to me. At the same time though, I had definitely reached the limit of my ability to do that job with any sort of efficacy. And the fatigue was awful and caused me emotional stress all day long. Had they not been so kind, things could have been bad.
Note, however, that every place has its annoying person/people, and I'm about to tell you of one of them. She just started on the team and appeared to me by behavior to be about 15, experience perhaps 22 and looks - maybe 24. I can handle her when working only in a professional capacity. When she turns personal, I have to watch my reactions. The interactions I'm about to describe have taken place plenty of times with me reacting to them in different ways in the hopes of diminishing their frequency. Obviously my methods have not yet worked. Here's how much of yesterday went:
Nice co-worker #1: So what does it FEEL like when he kicks? Does it hurt? Can you feel actual body parts from the outside? Is it weird?
Me: As dumb as it sounds, it feels exactly like you would think. It's like there's a little person inside you, bones and all pushing and poking. And no it doesn't hurt anymore unless he gets a tender spot... etc etc.
Annoying co-worker: (just walking in) EEEEEEEEEWWWW! SO GROSS! Ugh.
Me: Silence and completely ignoring (had been my latest tactic)
Later....
Nice co-worker #2: How have you been feeling? Is the pressure getting worse? Have you noticed any contractions increasing?
Annoying co-worker: (again - walking into our conversation) That is just TOO CREEPY. Yuck.
Me: silence
In the company vehicle at the end of the day when I am just DONE....
Nice co-worker #3: So why DO you burn so many calories breast feeding?
Me: Well, you're making sustenance for another human being from your own stores. That takes a lot of energy! And as they need more, you need to make more etc..
Annoying co-worker: Oh my GOD, SO SO GROOOOOOOOOOSSSSS! (and on and on.. not exaggerating I promise you)
Me: REALLY? Really? It isn't GROSS, it's what we DO. We're MAMMALS. We make MILK for our young. How are you from a science background and don't understand this?
Her: But it IS gross. It's just disgusting!
Me: It's what cows do. It's what horses do.
Her: EEEEEEEEWWWW
Me: It's a natural process. It's just ridiculous to be so grossed out by it and so vocal about that to someone you barely know who's doing it. (In my head: If you don't like to talk about it, leave or politely ask if we can change the subject)
Nice co-worker #3: Well, I know I am freaked out a bit by it and right now feel like I couldn't do it (in a slightly hurt tone)
Me: I completely understand that. It's totally normal to feel all those things. What I DON'T understand is thinking it's so incredibly abhorrent and unnatural that you can't even think or talk about it and that you'd express that to my face so obviously. It would be like me saying you hate your future babies for being scared of breast feeding... which I do NOT do.
By the way... annoying co-worker's actual age? 28.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Developments
Tonight Hub and I watched my belly move gently and rhythmically up and down as the babybutt practiced his breathing. Excuse my wonderful English here when I say that it was WAY cool.
You know what else is WAY cool? Tomorrow is my last day at work! Although now I just get to sit at home and be physically more comfortable, but all snarled up in my head. Come on baby! Come be with us soon!
You know what else is WAY cool? Tomorrow is my last day at work! Although now I just get to sit at home and be physically more comfortable, but all snarled up in my head. Come on baby! Come be with us soon!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Aggravated
I feel like a restless animal about to give birth that just can't get comfortable and has sudden fits of aggression and/or insecurity. I suppose that's accurate considering I AM an animal very close to giving birth. I'm just so agitated in mind and body. I can't get comfortable. Any wrinkle in my day equates to crazy anxiety for me. I stayed home from work today because I overdid it big time yesterday with some projects. I felt like my pelvis was going to fall apart along with other things. And when I'm at work, I'm paranoid, insecure and uncomfortable. However, now at home I'm lonely, frustrated and feeling guilty - all clear signs that the problem lies with me.
I can only assume hormone craziness is the culprit as usual. Last night it was cold in our home, yet I woke up in night sweats more than once. And the outward remnant Christmas mess and other unfinished projects in our home make it all the worse. When I'm in orderly surroundings, it feels easier to keep myself tied together on the inside. Please tell me it's not just me and that it will get easier as time goes on with the baby. I'm afraid of my wonkiness and afraid that post partum is going to be very difficult. At least my Mom will be here to help me.
I can only assume hormone craziness is the culprit as usual. Last night it was cold in our home, yet I woke up in night sweats more than once. And the outward remnant Christmas mess and other unfinished projects in our home make it all the worse. When I'm in orderly surroundings, it feels easier to keep myself tied together on the inside. Please tell me it's not just me and that it will get easier as time goes on with the baby. I'm afraid of my wonkiness and afraid that post partum is going to be very difficult. At least my Mom will be here to help me.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
38 Weeks 2 Days
And no sign at all that he wants to meet us anytime soon. (I guess my lovely painful Braxton-Hicks contractions that keep me up every night don't count.) Oh, and I officially feel huge and ungainly now.
Letters and Remembering
So excited about Christmas Eve. I've always loved this holiday, even with the crap, but this year is obviously so much better. My heart is with those of you struggling right now. We still did not put up that dreaded Baby's First Christmas ornament from years ago though. He will have his own next year.
There were a few more things I want to remember about pregnancy before my little goat makes his appearance. But many of these are also things I want him to know. Therefore, I am combining a memory list with a letter to my Babybutt.
I always want to remember:
1. Playing "where's the baby?" with Daddy. You probably think you're well hidden in your dark little cocoon, but that giant lump in my belly? It gives you away every time sweets. Lately though, the baby is pretty much everywhere.
2. How you like to wake up at 3:30 or 4 every morning and go crazy for a half hour or so. I think we can count on that continuing eh? Rocking often gets you back to sleep though.
3. The funny shapes you make out of my belly when I'm in the bath. Do you not like the warm water? This does not bode well...
4. How after a long day/week of work, my body is so sore at night that Daddy has to help me take off my shoes, get ready for my shower, put on my pants etc. He is very patient and kind. You'll like him.
5. How I got all misty about a onesie that said, "Proof that Miracles Happen," and Daddy really took to one that said, "Who Needs a Superhero When You Have Daddy?"
6. There is just SO MUCH of you in there! I feel stuffed full of arms and legs. It's incredible how many bones you have my love.
We reached 38 full weeks on Tuesday. We should have a baby no later than the 12th according to my doctor. How crazy is that? Photos soon. Warning: there has been much dropping and enlarging.
There were a few more things I want to remember about pregnancy before my little goat makes his appearance. But many of these are also things I want him to know. Therefore, I am combining a memory list with a letter to my Babybutt.
I always want to remember:
1. Playing "where's the baby?" with Daddy. You probably think you're well hidden in your dark little cocoon, but that giant lump in my belly? It gives you away every time sweets. Lately though, the baby is pretty much everywhere.
2. How you like to wake up at 3:30 or 4 every morning and go crazy for a half hour or so. I think we can count on that continuing eh? Rocking often gets you back to sleep though.
3. The funny shapes you make out of my belly when I'm in the bath. Do you not like the warm water? This does not bode well...
4. How after a long day/week of work, my body is so sore at night that Daddy has to help me take off my shoes, get ready for my shower, put on my pants etc. He is very patient and kind. You'll like him.
5. How I got all misty about a onesie that said, "Proof that Miracles Happen," and Daddy really took to one that said, "Who Needs a Superhero When You Have Daddy?"
6. There is just SO MUCH of you in there! I feel stuffed full of arms and legs. It's incredible how many bones you have my love.
We reached 38 full weeks on Tuesday. We should have a baby no later than the 12th according to my doctor. How crazy is that? Photos soon. Warning: there has been much dropping and enlarging.
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