Today

As we went out the door today, E was distracted by the grass, the bugs, the driveway... So I said, " Hey E! Want to go play with Dibits right now?" He said, "Yes you DO!" and did the toddler run toward me.

Too bad I don't have that kind of motivation regularly.

Oedipus

When I lie prostrate on the floor, E always jumps on my chest and snuggles me. Sometimes he even pushes me to that position to do so. Daddy misses getting so many hugs, so I told him to try it tonight.

E cuddled him for a brief moment, then pounded his little fist on Hub's chest and said in his high, sweet voice, "Dead? Dead?" and came back to me. Oh dear.

Disclaimer: I don't for a moment imagine that E really knows what he said/did. I imagine it's something he got from daycare.

Strangers Can Still Be Kind

Today Hub, E and I were eating at Panera Bread (yum) for dinner. A lady next to us said, "Excuse me, but I would just so hate for this to go to waste. There are people starving in the world...." She trailed off and indicated to the half a bagel and full package of cream cheese remaining on her plate.

Hub graciously accepted, and she hastened to give him a napkin and plastic knife she hadn't touched. I liked the feeling of that. I like that she offered so kindly and conscientiously. I like that I'm married to a man who always seems to believe and participate in a world community where that can still happen. And I like that E witnessed it all.

I Remember

Ten years ago today, I was drawn to my mother's living room from my old bedroom because of concerned sounds and a special report issuing from the TV. There had been a plane crash it seemed... Right into a World Trade Center tower. How strange and horrible an accident!

But our family was very preoccupied and only half watching the news. The horror was hard to process through the fresh grief of the passing of a dear child in our family - only 12 years old. It was 2 days after the family's vigil by his bedside in a big Pennsylvania children's hospital that I had flown from my home in New York to attend.

In the hours that followed, we if course learned the truth and feared for family in DC. We also were horrified at the thought that his body was supposed to be driven through roads shut down by the crash in Shanksville.

In the end, we were able to drive in muted grief with his mother to help her pick out something to put in his casket that day. It was under eerily quiet skies. His funeral proceeded, and I begged my mom to drive with me back to NY rather than have to fly.

I don't usually post much about shared or other people's tragedies. I just don't feel I have much to add. I don't feel that I can contribute words with enough depth to properly memorialize or honor the victims. But this time, 10 years later for some reason, I felt the need to remember that sweet soul in our family and that horrible day in writing. God bless all who have experienced these trying times in our history and those dealing with personal trials. Love to all.

Training Forum - Comments Discussion

About two weeks ago, I posted a Training Tutorial to follow up with all the thoughts on positive reinforcement training technique. I am hoping for these posts to inspire questions and great discussion surrounding this subject? Why? Because frankly I love talking about it, and it's fun! In a serious vein though, the more we understand behavior and how it is shaped, the better off our animals, loved ones and co-workers will be.

I had 3 great comments on that post that I wanted to share. Jen's thought was that it would indeed be fun to train the little dog to station to the carpet when the doorbell rang and when the garage door went up. I share it here simply because I thought it was great thinking that next step out ahead of time. In most cases, it would probably be best to train one instance first and then the other so as to avoid confusion and deterioration of the behavior. So maybe we would focus on the doorbell first. My thought was to train the behavior on a verbal and pointing cue first, then pair that cue with the doorbell ringing. When it seemed good and solid, you could drop the verbal and only use the pointing and doorbell. Eventually you could try to drop the point or see if he went there automatically when the doorbell rang and drop it. After that was good and solid, you could do the same with the sound of the garage door. Obviously this training would work better with 2 people. It's fun to think about though and would be a great behavior to train! This brings up the thought that often, when trainers go to the pound looking for dogs, they are looking for the "problem" and "overactive" dogs. The ones that seem frantic for a job usually make the best show animals. The little dog is one such character. He's so frantic for a job that training him is a breeze. Trin, on the other hand, is very smart but has to be taken along much more slowly. Her trust has to be earned the hard way, and care has to be taken even with sudden movements or louder sounds. This is a case where the clicker might not be the best bridge to use. It's just too harsh.

Natalie says:

This makes me think back to when I attempted to train my dog Zoe. She's such a freakin airhead she constantly gets over-excited and starts offering every behavior in the book, then gets confused, then gets upset and overwhelmed. My first dog was easy to train - highly food motivated (though lazy), and smart. The shepherd is easy to train, though after the initial training finding motivation he will actually listen to is hard work - he's easily distracted by things and ignores all training if something else is going on.

It's so hard to know from reading it, but Zoe might just be in line with the little dog. Those dogs usually need a "job" to do even between behaviors. Sometimes those dogs do very well with going to "their spot" or "station" each time the craziness starts just to reset. These dogs usually need very short sessions that end on a good note if at all possible. The sessions can be lengthened bit by bit, but when I say short, 30 seconds is not out of the question. Whatever length of time is the time her attention span keeps, shorten it by about 20 seconds to end it with her wanting more. Sometimes these animals even need to be trained to focus. Most of the time the focus is assumed and the animal gets it without us consciously training them to do so. But with certain individuals, training them to focus on you at your cue (I just use their name and the word "focus") needs to be the first step in their program. Once they've got it down, move from very easy behaviors to harder ones at their pace. If it's the case of her spazzing out with behaviors that are known and solid, brief time-outs (in which you leave the session by simply turning your back or withholding further stimulus from her for a few seconds) can be warranted. And this is where I repeat that positive reinforcement trainers are not sunshiny morons. They believe it's the best mode when at all possible, but know that we have a toolbox full of techniques to use and that sometimes punishment is necessary. A time-out, though gentle and preferred to physical violence, is a punishment. It's the removal of the opportunity to earn reward and/or your attention. Thus, it's a negative punishment. But it does give the individual time to gather him or herself (animal or human) and get the message across that the current behavior is not working.

Natalie's shepherd sounds like the smart kid in class who gets bored easily. That animal would require inventiveness and for the trainer to be on their game at all times. Training him would not be advised if the trainer were feeling at all subpar at that moment. Changing up behaviors and asking for the unexpected can help, as could keeping sessions short (him wanting more), and changing up reinforcers. But again, it's hard to really know without seeing the sessions. There are just so many variables in the moment (and they are so fun to figure out!) that I wish I could see it. Natalie, if you disagree with anything I've written, have further questions, or have tried some of these things and they did or didn't work, please let us know! I would love the dialogue.

Rebecca says:

So, does this work to teach an old dog new tricks? I mean that LITERALLY. I have two 10-ish year old Italian greyhounds that came to us from an abusive situation and we have done horribly training them. Is it too late? Because all this step by step stuff makes me feel like it might be do-able.

ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTELY Rebecca!!! I've trained a 13 year old animal who had never had a trainer before in her life with beautiful results. Now does it mean some of your expectations have to be lowered? Of course in some cases. Your 10 year old greyhounds are not going to be running a high intensity agility course, and their motivation for certain rewards may not be as high as it once was. They may even be more set in their ways, so progress could be slower on certain things. Repeated behavior builds confidence and insistence on that behavior. In other words, practice makes perfect, and if they have practiced a behavior a certain way for 10 years, it may take a little while to change. Plus your new relationship may take a little adjustment. However, do it just like I said. Find your most motivating reinforcer. If they are hard to motivate, use that reward ONLY for training. Make sure they aren't overweight. Start small to build confidence for all of you and definitely train a bridge. Were you looking to extinguish unwanted behaviors, train new ones or both?

Note that no matter what you are training be sure to train and keep in your back pocket behaviors that you both enjoy rehearsing. That way training is not just about work, obedience or phasing out "bad" behaviors. It's fun too. We generally only keep up well with things we enjoy to some extent. (who here has trouble with punishing exercise they don't like? I thought so.) So enjoy yourselves!! Have at it in the comments! We learn best by looking at real world situations and discussing all our viewpoints. Thanks for the great comments!

Answers and updates

For all of you who asked, Mr. Shatner was spotted entering a limo outside Hub's convention. So it isn't a big fancy story, but kind of cool anyway.

I was hoping today would be a day of family togetherness and a chance to catch up on horribly neglected housework, but alas it was not to be. E seems to have inherited another tendency of mine - popping his elbow out of its socket. Only we had no idea and worried he'd broken his fingers rolling on them in the middle of the night. The only way we slept at all was with me holding his arm steady. All night. Since nothing was open today, (isn't that always the way?) we ended up in the ER. Poor baby kept asking us to fix it. They got it done there at least, and thank God it wasn't something worse.

I really wish I could have a free week to catch up on projects, necessities and fun stuff like blogging. Ah well.

Thank God for this iPod or I'd be really disconnected. (Thanks Hub! ... And Apple. I love you both!) I just don't find it up to the task more thoughtful posts like my training ones since I have to email them in. Last time I tried Blogger on here it wouldn't work. Any tips?

Vacation Hangover

Coming down and recovering from a vacation of any sort is always a challenge. It's doubly a challenge when you've spent most of it zipping madly back and forth between family members and activities, and workdays flank leave and return time like bookends.

BUT we're returning to normal. We had a fabulous time in beautiful Canada. E enjoyed his cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents very much. William Shatner was seen, maple "weafs" were pointed out repeatedly, art was perused, and wildlife was investigated (bugs are fascinating.) Sleep has also returned to the house thanks to the emergence of one, nasty, stubborn canine. Hallelujah! There are only 3 more to go!

It's always a struggle for me to balance an exciting, busy time with the need to blog. I have such mixed feelings about it. I love when our lives are so full, yet that means when I have the extra time to write, I usually need it to decompress or hell, just sleep instead. That makes me miss blogging. I guess all in all however, that's a pretty awesome conundrum to have.

What about you guys? What things do you drop when you are busy? Would you give up sleep for blogging? Is it the main thing that recharges you?

Next up: we explore some training comments/questions left on the last training post. I want it to be an open forum, so start getting those thinking caps on. I want to do it justice, so it will be done on a day off.