Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Clarification
Lest you think this has no practical application and that my head is completely in the clouds: yes, in some situations some form of punishment is needed. However, if used well and paired with positive reinforcement, results can be much more promising. And in those instances when there is just a truly negative interaction (hey - it's gonna happen) you will have made a lot if deposits into your trust bank so that when you make one withdrawal, the effects aren't as lasting or severe. That's why we put up with more crap from friends who have done a lot for us.
Let's Talk Positive Reinforcement Part II
And tonight I get the chance to write my "training" post! See Part I here.
WARNING: I am very prone to stupid errors, so if you note some (Jen, I'm looking at you) or have a question involving continuity etc, please please point it out so I can address and/or change it.
In this installment, I am going to give a brief overview of a few points on positive reinforcement and how it relates to operant and classical conditioning. Secondly, I will discuss why some people choose to use positive reinforcement more heavily than other types of training and conditioning.
Everyone remembers the old story of the dog and the bell and the salivation right? Or you may remember it more commonly as "Pavlov's dog." Classical conditioning is used a little in positive reinforcement training when we discuss the "bridge." Another thing you may all have heard to some degree is "clicker training" right? It's most commonly heard in association with dogs. The whistle that a marine mammal trainer uses when his or her animal completes a behavior is just another form of that same tool. The word "good" can also be used with children or animals, but in animals especially, it can not be as clear. This is called a bridge in that it bridges the behavior desired to the reward promised. It's a little different from Pavlov's bell for a few reasons, but we will get back to the bridge later. (remind me if I forget. ;-)
Positive reinforcement falls under the umbrella of Operant Conditioning. In fact, the different methods of reward and punishment I will be discussing are all part of Skinner's work here. And basically that's what it concerns - increasing or decreasing a desirable or undesirable behavior through different means of reward and punishment. Most positive reinforcement trainers will use a little of all these methods, but will rely mostly on positive reinforcement.
NOTE: A reinforcement technique is used to INCREASE the probability of a desired response occuring again. A punishment technique is used to DECREASE the probability of an undesired response occurring again.
The 4 techniques used are (and some of this will be review)
1. positive reinforcement (adding something to the environment)
2. negative reinforcement (removing something from the environment)
3. positive punishment (again adding a punisher)
4. negative punishment (removing something as a punisher - ex. taking away tv privileges)
All of these techniques can be used in some measure to gain desired behavior. However, it takes skill and knowledge to use any of them well. Many trainers prefer to rely heavily on positive reinforcement, and this is one reason. Positive reinforcement training itself comes with a whole tool box of techniques and ideas that aid in its implementation. It takes a while to perfect. Using the others takes just that much more. Negative reinforcement involves removing something undesired after the completion of a behavior in order to reward that. With a skittish animal, that could simply be your presence. But it is complicated to even explain let alone execute. So that is why many steer more in the positive reinforcement direction.
As for the punishments, there are a few reasons why reinforcement (in my opinion and according to experts who use it) is a more desirable approach if it's possible. (and it usually is).
QUESTIONS? I'm sure I've missed something. And if I have, feel free to add to the discussion! I love talking about this stuff, and will feature your questions in various posts as they're asked. Our next installment will involve the actual application of various techniques.
WARNING: I am very prone to stupid errors, so if you note some (Jen, I'm looking at you) or have a question involving continuity etc, please please point it out so I can address and/or change it.
In this installment, I am going to give a brief overview of a few points on positive reinforcement and how it relates to operant and classical conditioning. Secondly, I will discuss why some people choose to use positive reinforcement more heavily than other types of training and conditioning.
Everyone remembers the old story of the dog and the bell and the salivation right? Or you may remember it more commonly as "Pavlov's dog." Classical conditioning is used a little in positive reinforcement training when we discuss the "bridge." Another thing you may all have heard to some degree is "clicker training" right? It's most commonly heard in association with dogs. The whistle that a marine mammal trainer uses when his or her animal completes a behavior is just another form of that same tool. The word "good" can also be used with children or animals, but in animals especially, it can not be as clear. This is called a bridge in that it bridges the behavior desired to the reward promised. It's a little different from Pavlov's bell for a few reasons, but we will get back to the bridge later. (remind me if I forget. ;-)
Positive reinforcement falls under the umbrella of Operant Conditioning. In fact, the different methods of reward and punishment I will be discussing are all part of Skinner's work here. And basically that's what it concerns - increasing or decreasing a desirable or undesirable behavior through different means of reward and punishment. Most positive reinforcement trainers will use a little of all these methods, but will rely mostly on positive reinforcement.
NOTE: A reinforcement technique is used to INCREASE the probability of a desired response occuring again. A punishment technique is used to DECREASE the probability of an undesired response occurring again.
The 4 techniques used are (and some of this will be review)
1. positive reinforcement (adding something to the environment)
2. negative reinforcement (removing something from the environment)
3. positive punishment (again adding a punisher)
4. negative punishment (removing something as a punisher - ex. taking away tv privileges)
All of these techniques can be used in some measure to gain desired behavior. However, it takes skill and knowledge to use any of them well. Many trainers prefer to rely heavily on positive reinforcement, and this is one reason. Positive reinforcement training itself comes with a whole tool box of techniques and ideas that aid in its implementation. It takes a while to perfect. Using the others takes just that much more. Negative reinforcement involves removing something undesired after the completion of a behavior in order to reward that. With a skittish animal, that could simply be your presence. But it is complicated to even explain let alone execute. So that is why many steer more in the positive reinforcement direction.
As for the punishments, there are a few reasons why reinforcement (in my opinion and according to experts who use it) is a more desirable approach if it's possible. (and it usually is).
- A subject will only work as hard as it needs to to avoid a particular punishment. For reinforcement (if it is truly a good reinforcer for that individual), a subject will work above and beyond what is asked with often much more spectacular results.
Ex) You may have been punished for staying out past curfew. Let's say your curfew was 9pm. If you came in at 9:05, you were yelled at and couldn't go out for a week. No reinforcement was given. How often did you come in early (say 8:30? 8?) - I'd hazard not often. It was probably usually at best 8:50 unless you were very nervous. Now let's say you were given the keys to Mom and Dad's car for a a day for each minute you were early, and you discovered this every time it happened (whether or not punishment was added for lateness). You would probably have rolled in a bit earlier when you needed those keys right? - If punishment loses its effectiveness, the ante must be upped. And in many animals' cases at least, punishment must be severe enough to cause fear of death to have any sort of lasting effect. Who wants to go there?
- Much as in the case with #1, the punisher must often be present for the subject to exhibit the proper behavior. ex) Your dogs are smacked and/or yelled at for getting on the couch. When you're not home, guess where many of them go? You guessed it, right on the couch. You may be able to think of a punisher strong enough that they are so afraid to get on the couch that they won't even when you aren't present. But isn't it much more pleasant to think of a reward wonderful enough?
- Punishment has unintended results. Punishment often works, at least in the short term. But how many people have heard of circus animals turning on trainers or beaten dogs becoming unpredictable and thus unadoptable? How many people have seen a child get smacked in public only to see that child turn around and sass the parent, or to see them sulk and stalk away? Yes, these things happen and the moment eases. However, the effects that you can't see continue to color the relationship if it happens often enough. It's also variable depending on the individual, but again, isn't variable joy preferable to variable anger and resentment? Fear does not equal respect. Think back to some of your favorite teachers or other adults in your lives. Were they the ones who ruled the classroom by complete fear and little positive reinforcement? Or were they the ones who built you up? How did you feel about them? Like you would do anything for them? Positive reinforcement used to a knowledgeable person has pretty predictable results. And the "problems" you can have from them rarely include aggression.
- Punishment is very tricky to use well. It requires a much more steadied hand, knowledge of behavior and training and calm demeanor than positive reinforcement. And how often is that the case?
- When you use punishment, you "model" that behavior for your subject. You are using some sort of aggression, often on someone or something smaller and more helpless than you are even if you preach otherwise. Therefore, it can be viewed as an ok way for them to act as well. Excuse me while I go into a little story to illustrate my point:
QUESTIONS? I'm sure I've missed something. And if I have, feel free to add to the discussion! I love talking about this stuff, and will feature your questions in various posts as they're asked. Our next installment will involve the actual application of various techniques.
An Excuse to See my Favorite Doctor
Today I got to visit the best Obgyn in the whole world. Who else can say they're excited to see their gynecologist? Luckily for me though, it wasn't that kind of appointment. I was going to discuss that breast pain I mentioned long ago when my milk came in... the one that often made it difficult to sleep it was so painful. FavoriteOB had thought it might just be milk pressing on nerves, which part of it may very well have been. However, the pain hasn't gone away 6 months after weaning. It's not as intense, but it's still there and doesn't feel so great. It's particularly bad during my follicular phase. It's mostly on one side, but the other has its share too.
FavoriteOB did an exam with E in tow (who thought the nurse and doc were hurting me) and thinks that it's most likely just inflammation of the chest wall due to all the changes my breasts have been through in the past year or so. I will be getting a mammogram and possibly an ultrasound just in case, but he doesn't suspect they'll find anything serious. He's always wanted to get a younger baseline on me anyway due to my cyst and fibrous tissue, so here's a good excuse!
Another bit of good news from this visit; my blood pressure is back down to almost pre pregnancy levels! I used to regularly measure in the 90's over the 60's and 70's. My highest during pregnancy was 148/95, and I never really went below 128/85. My highest post partum was something like 165/121. Today? I WAS 100/68! And that was while I was trying to soothe a crying E! (Surely the blood pressure cuff was a torture device for Mommy!) I am so excited and pleased. It's been coming down tiny bit by tiny bit each doctor visit, but this is the first time in over a year and a half that I've been in my normal.
FavoriteOB did an exam with E in tow (who thought the nurse and doc were hurting me) and thinks that it's most likely just inflammation of the chest wall due to all the changes my breasts have been through in the past year or so. I will be getting a mammogram and possibly an ultrasound just in case, but he doesn't suspect they'll find anything serious. He's always wanted to get a younger baseline on me anyway due to my cyst and fibrous tissue, so here's a good excuse!
Another bit of good news from this visit; my blood pressure is back down to almost pre pregnancy levels! I used to regularly measure in the 90's over the 60's and 70's. My highest during pregnancy was 148/95, and I never really went below 128/85. My highest post partum was something like 165/121. Today? I WAS 100/68! And that was while I was trying to soothe a crying E! (Surely the blood pressure cuff was a torture device for Mommy!) I am so excited and pleased. It's been coming down tiny bit by tiny bit each doctor visit, but this is the first time in over a year and a half that I've been in my normal.
Monday, May 2, 2011
All I can do
Since E is now eating enough to feed a small village for 3 days, I think that on top of the teething, he's probably going through a growth spurt. This means that we are not having a lot of quality sleep. He stays in his crib most of the time, but I'm awake every time he is because that's how I roll. Thus, we will be having no positive reinforcement post tonight, as I need to get to bed and get some sleep before the fun starts. Today kinda sucked since I stayed up too late last night and paid for it when E was up at 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 (when I finally gave in). The really sucky thing is that there are no less than 4 posts yammering away in my head, so I have to at least get some bullet points in or I'll never sleep for all the brain noise. Be prepared for a completely random mix of important and mundane.
- You guys are awesome. I was all worried about appearing jerkish in my last post, but your words have been nothing but exceedingly kind.
- I have to say that it's pretty wonderful when you are cycling regularly. My periods no long make me want to curl into a ball in the corner and weep. My clothing thanks me too.
- I definitely do need to write a post about how the economy is affecting our neighborhood. It's scaring me.
- I'm glad that we handled the Osama bin Laden mission in the way that we did... no bombing for less collateral damage, burial according to Muslim law, no governmental celebration dance. Instead of making us weak, I believe it makes us the people we'd like to be. I do not believe we are granted privilege to act horribly because someone we dealt with was horrible. That is flawed logic and demeans us as a nation. Self defense is acceptable; dishonorable behavior is not. (My Colonel Grandfather's voice is ringing in my ears there).
- A long time ago I shared how I'm allowed crappy food the first 2 crappy days of my cycle. Thank God the second day is over because I have seriously shamed myself the past 2 days. I wouldn't be surprised if I gained a pound or two. Chocolate is my friend.
- Why was it that Pa always got to bathe first on Little House on the Prairie? I mean... I know he had to get up early to go do hard manual labor and all that, but come on. Wasn't he the smelliest too? The kids probably didn't care, but what did Ma ever do to deserve that?
- That one's been on my mind a while. And now you get a glimpse of my twisted mind.
- Hub is "napping" on the couch (at 10pm) while clutching his new foam Thor hammer. And now you get a glimpse into HIS twisted mind.
Headlines
Tsunamis, tornadoes, uprisings, earthquakes, so much devastation to acknowledge lately. I rarely do on this blog because I rarely feel that I have much of worth to add, and this little blog doesn't usually seem the right forum. Then last night the news on Osama Bin Laden came out. It's a strange mix of emotions as an American isn't it? And yes, he's an important figure head who helped inflame many against our country, but we know this is not the end to this particularly awful story.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Place Holder
I'm writing this because I love sharing about positive reinforcement techniques and other training, and this will force me to actually have some follow through.
Tomorrow: an overview of how positive reinforcement works, maybe a little definition of operant conditioning and why some people (some of the first being marine mammal trainers) choose it over other techniques.
Tomorrow: an overview of how positive reinforcement works, maybe a little definition of operant conditioning and why some people (some of the first being marine mammal trainers) choose it over other techniques.
On the Second Child
WARNING: Lots of frank discussion on my experiences with pregnancy and thoughts about second children. Feeling sensitive? Might want to skip it.
Note: This post from 2008 still has a lot of relevance to my decisions today. How interesting it was to see the pre-baby me again.
The topic of a second child is on my mind at least once a day. I'm thinking about whether we should add to our family, the way in which we should add to our family, why we've made some of the decisions we have already made regarding that possibility and/or how I'd like to blog about it. I've made mention that I wanted to discuss this before, and I'm just finally getting around to it. This topic takes a long time to brew before it can really be served up for others. Even now I know that time and circumstances are going to change some of our thoughts for sure. But I feel that I'm ready to share where we are at this time.
As far as a third pregnancy, (you'll remember that my first via Femara/iui didn't last so long) both of us pretty firmly agree that there won't be one that we've planned. There won't even be one by surprise unless we seriously mess up (and my body happens to be cooperating.) Hub is a little more firm in this stance than I am, as my motherly hormones sometimes make me a bit wistful, but I'm right on board with this decision. The reasons? Oh there are so many reasons. Can I just laze it up and make a list?
1. I remember the bitterness, roller coaster, depression and the final dichotomy of painful yet joyful relief in acceptance that struggling to conceive wrought. I do not want to take any chances that I will EVER go there again. And I know I would. I have so much trouble accepting what I see as failure. And I'm very demanding about what I want.
2. Much in line with number 1, we are so at peace and happy with our lives now. I am so so thankful to be someone who is able to accept life with one biological child and be ok with that. In fact, I'm more than ok. I am practically in the clouds most days.
3. We don't have the money or much space or time for a second biological child. We are stuck in our small, 2 bedroom house. We are so grateful to have it, and we love it, but it is financially impossible to leave it, and space is definitely tight. To assure that there wouldn't be as much struggle to conceive, it would probably need to be soon while I'm still enjoying the results of a break in my PCOS spiral. But two in daycare would be financial ruin. And if I quit my job, we'd lose health benefits for our family. No winning there. And time wise, we work so much that we find ourselves (much like many others) fighting to get time together and have even some left over for pets, friends, other relatives etc. This all means we'd be waiting until E was at least 4 to even go for another... which leads me to my next problem...
4. I would be 35-36 and Hub near 40 before we even started trying. No, that's not so old if you conceive quickly right? But what are my chances of that? I mean, let's face it, then I'd not only be dealing with PCOS eggs, I'd be dealing with PCOS AMA eggs. And the problem was mostly me, but not entirely. Hub would be aging right along with me.
5. Along with 4, I have a huge mental block (and a fatigue problem that I know will get worse due to my medical conditions) about being an "older" parent. The age I was having E is good. I don't want to go any farther.
6. I never want to even create the chance to experience pregnancy loss again.
7. Two Words: Post Partum. It was so incredibly difficult for me, and I'm so the victim of my hormones, that I don't know that I ever want to do that again either... especially and try to be a Mom for E. I think it would be better the second time around, but what if it wasn't? What if the high blood pressure got worse? What if high blood pressure actually interfered with the pregnancy? It was a struggle to work to the end of my pregnancy as it was. What if I couldn't come back emotionally? Yes I know they are all "what-ifs," but not worth it for me right now.
Don't get me wrong. I am so incredibly grateful for this experience. It was worth every single hiccup, all the physical pain, all the emotional pain... everything. It was amazing. I would do ALL of it all over again even knowing what would happen if it meant the chance to be a mother period... if it meant the chance to bear one child and have him in our lives. It's worth it for that. But now we have it. We have him, and it's amazing. It's splendid. It's wonderful. As Jen and I say, "We've won." And I want to keep living it like that without the specter of infertility or other complications hanging over our heads. But this is all so very individual, so don't ever think I'm judging anyone else for their choices.
HOWEVER - note that I have not discussed what has been in my heart for years - the subject of adoption. It's still there; a little lump of love in my heart for children looking for their families. I see them, and I love them all. I think often how I'd like to have another child in our lives. I'd like E to have a brother or sister (right now it's brother because OH how enamored am I with boys now!). I'd like to grow our family. I'd like to adopt from the state system. It's something I've always wanted to do, and it negates so many of my previous concerns. But of course, it brings up so many new ones. Will it bring too much discord into our lives? Will the heartaches of adoption prove too much to handle? Are we good enough? Would our nurture outweigh the damage that's already been done? What if by nature we get a child with whom we can't connect? But for now, we wait until it's time to talk about it. And we'll be a happy family even if we don't travel that road. But all that is a post for another time... years away.
Note: This post from 2008 still has a lot of relevance to my decisions today. How interesting it was to see the pre-baby me again.
The topic of a second child is on my mind at least once a day. I'm thinking about whether we should add to our family, the way in which we should add to our family, why we've made some of the decisions we have already made regarding that possibility and/or how I'd like to blog about it. I've made mention that I wanted to discuss this before, and I'm just finally getting around to it. This topic takes a long time to brew before it can really be served up for others. Even now I know that time and circumstances are going to change some of our thoughts for sure. But I feel that I'm ready to share where we are at this time.
As far as a third pregnancy, (you'll remember that my first via Femara/iui didn't last so long) both of us pretty firmly agree that there won't be one that we've planned. There won't even be one by surprise unless we seriously mess up (and my body happens to be cooperating.) Hub is a little more firm in this stance than I am, as my motherly hormones sometimes make me a bit wistful, but I'm right on board with this decision. The reasons? Oh there are so many reasons. Can I just laze it up and make a list?
1. I remember the bitterness, roller coaster, depression and the final dichotomy of painful yet joyful relief in acceptance that struggling to conceive wrought. I do not want to take any chances that I will EVER go there again. And I know I would. I have so much trouble accepting what I see as failure. And I'm very demanding about what I want.
2. Much in line with number 1, we are so at peace and happy with our lives now. I am so so thankful to be someone who is able to accept life with one biological child and be ok with that. In fact, I'm more than ok. I am practically in the clouds most days.
3. We don't have the money or much space or time for a second biological child. We are stuck in our small, 2 bedroom house. We are so grateful to have it, and we love it, but it is financially impossible to leave it, and space is definitely tight. To assure that there wouldn't be as much struggle to conceive, it would probably need to be soon while I'm still enjoying the results of a break in my PCOS spiral. But two in daycare would be financial ruin. And if I quit my job, we'd lose health benefits for our family. No winning there. And time wise, we work so much that we find ourselves (much like many others) fighting to get time together and have even some left over for pets, friends, other relatives etc. This all means we'd be waiting until E was at least 4 to even go for another... which leads me to my next problem...
4. I would be 35-36 and Hub near 40 before we even started trying. No, that's not so old if you conceive quickly right? But what are my chances of that? I mean, let's face it, then I'd not only be dealing with PCOS eggs, I'd be dealing with PCOS AMA eggs. And the problem was mostly me, but not entirely. Hub would be aging right along with me.
5. Along with 4, I have a huge mental block (and a fatigue problem that I know will get worse due to my medical conditions) about being an "older" parent. The age I was having E is good. I don't want to go any farther.
6. I never want to even create the chance to experience pregnancy loss again.
7. Two Words: Post Partum. It was so incredibly difficult for me, and I'm so the victim of my hormones, that I don't know that I ever want to do that again either... especially and try to be a Mom for E. I think it would be better the second time around, but what if it wasn't? What if the high blood pressure got worse? What if high blood pressure actually interfered with the pregnancy? It was a struggle to work to the end of my pregnancy as it was. What if I couldn't come back emotionally? Yes I know they are all "what-ifs," but not worth it for me right now.
Don't get me wrong. I am so incredibly grateful for this experience. It was worth every single hiccup, all the physical pain, all the emotional pain... everything. It was amazing. I would do ALL of it all over again even knowing what would happen if it meant the chance to be a mother period... if it meant the chance to bear one child and have him in our lives. It's worth it for that. But now we have it. We have him, and it's amazing. It's splendid. It's wonderful. As Jen and I say, "We've won." And I want to keep living it like that without the specter of infertility or other complications hanging over our heads. But this is all so very individual, so don't ever think I'm judging anyone else for their choices.
HOWEVER - note that I have not discussed what has been in my heart for years - the subject of adoption. It's still there; a little lump of love in my heart for children looking for their families. I see them, and I love them all. I think often how I'd like to have another child in our lives. I'd like E to have a brother or sister (right now it's brother because OH how enamored am I with boys now!). I'd like to grow our family. I'd like to adopt from the state system. It's something I've always wanted to do, and it negates so many of my previous concerns. But of course, it brings up so many new ones. Will it bring too much discord into our lives? Will the heartaches of adoption prove too much to handle? Are we good enough? Would our nurture outweigh the damage that's already been done? What if by nature we get a child with whom we can't connect? But for now, we wait until it's time to talk about it. And we'll be a happy family even if we don't travel that road. But all that is a post for another time... years away.
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