Poor Baby

Poor E's bum is peeling just as if he had a sunburn except it's from that diaper burn he had a few days ago. Ugh. Poor baby. Diaper burn is the exact way to put it. That's no rash.

Full Circle

This is E's high chair. At first glance, it's just a plain, aging high chair with a cute pad.


And it has been used... extensively. My Grandma used it for my Mom and various other family members. My Great Aunt used it for some of her children. Mom got it back when I was born and used it for me, my sister and some of my cousins. Then my sister used it for her boys. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I started asking Mom about it. I remembered it fondly, and it's made of actual wood! She expressed doubts that it would be ok and didn't want to bring it down... but then she did.


When Mom got it for me, she refinished it and decorated it with some pretty designs. The back (under the pad) has a cute little lion on it. She's crafty, my Mom. The little touches she added make me feel loved.


It's imperfect, but I love having it for E. Why is it that family furniture garners so many memories? Is it because it lasts so long and sees so much (the good stuff anyway)? I know this piece has. It was lovingly touched by my sweet Grandma's hands. It held my cousin who was dogged by sickness and passed away very young. It holds memories of my sister; memories like the times she was so sleepy her head fell into her food at dinner. Its wood holds warmth. It's a pleasure to touch. The tray catches on the runners, but to me it's a funny quirk. Some of the finish is rubbing off, but to me that adds character. It now holds my sweet baby's chunk legs, and to me, it's a full circle of love.

Diaper Burn

I know some people may think Pampers is getting a bad rap. I know some people think Moms may be overreacting to the whole Dry Max debacle. However, we had confirmation today that that stuff hurts E - badly. We wondered what the regulars would do since the sensitive ones just gave him some red welts. Now we know.

E's daycare provider put a non sensitive Pampers diaper on him for some unknown reason. He had plenty of Huggies Pure and Natural in his bag. (Remind me to call Huggies and send them some love.) Anyway, she mentioned that he had gotten a diaper rash from his somewhat looser stool today. He went there with no diaper rash despite having had pretty much liquid stool with us through the weekend. I didn't take him home and change him right away because we had to stop at the grocery store. When we got him here, we noticed the odd diaper. It was a Pampers one. When I took it off, his poor bum looked like this:


This photo is just his LEG. It's the minor part of the rash. It was also taken after we had already treated the rash/burn, let him air out and then put on one of his good diapers for a while. It was much worse. It's astonishing how just taking off that diaper helped him heal. The worst parts of it were where his skin had actually peeled up. He looked literally like a chemical burn patient. His skin was also crimson and irritated the whole way up his belly and down his legs where the diaper had touched. He couldn't bear to lie on his back because it hurt. This happened after one (maybe more?) Dry Max diaper to a baby who has never had a rash like this in his life and who did not have a rash when we last saw him. I really really wish Pampers would take this seriously. I realize E is probably more sensitive, but it seems to be happening to lots of babies. And even if it's not causing this kind of damage to each child, chemicals that do this can NOT be good for a baby period (or anyone else for that matter.)

Sorry for the rant. I'm just a wee bit frustrated. My poor teething (teeth showing!!!) baby didn't need this on top of it. He was up every single hour last night.

My Issue

My issue is apparently generalized anxiety disorder. I haven't been back to the therapist in a few weeks because it's so hard to ask people to watch the baby. I feel like I had no idea what I was getting into with having him so far from most family or friends with children and both of us working full time. I really feel like I could get better more easily if I could just focus on this aspect of my life right now. Although to be fair, I didn't expect that my family down here would move 1000 miles away right after he was born.

This stuff is tough. I bought a book my therapist recommended and am going to try to work through it. I may post some things here to help me work it out just as we did with Unsung Lullabies. That helped me a lot, and I'm hoping it will help me this time as well. I have to admit that sometimes it feels like I'm climbing out of a slippery, crumbly hole bit by bit. It is getting better, but with lots of fall backs, and it's taking lots of time and very hard work. It's so difficult to get better when the very fact that I'm having issues and have had them for so long makes me feel guilty for being a "bad friend," and the negative self talk is such a vicious cycle.

Fifty Percent

I keep reading that 50% of all babies and toddlers fall into the "easy" category. No wonder there is so much assvice, judgment and self congratulation out there about raising babies. One must feel pretty smug if he or she lands an "easy" (Yes note the quotations on purpose. None of them are really all THAT easy.) baby. In everything I read, E falls squarely into the "shy" or "slow to warm up" category, though the older he gets, the more "easy" traits he seems to acquire. His temperament endears him to me. We match each other. We "get" one another.

Shout out to all the dedicated Mommies and Daddies raising some of the more tricky babies: We're doing all right! Our children are who they are, and we make the most of it!

p.s. Have I mentioned that I love Harvey Karp?
p.p.s. That "Babies" documentary is ADORABLE and heart warming. I particularly loved the African family. That's more how I would like to raise E - with him all the time, letting him play outside constantly, etc.

Happy Thanksgiving to all our lovely Canadian friends!

The Creepy Next Door

So you remember the creepy old neighbor next door? I would link to my stories about him, but I can't seem to find them and don't have the time for a long search. Anyway, if you do, you'll remember that he seems to kind of... come on.. to me. OK, so kissing me on the side of the neck is more than a come on, it's straight up freaky, but I don't get close enough to him anymore for that to happen.

He seemed to calm down during the latter half of my pregnancy and the beginning of my motherhood experiences. But now that I'm "lookin' good" again, I think he's back in form. Aside from mentioning how "good" I look on a regular basis, he's also been talking a lot about how well fed my baby is. And it's nothing I can really put my finger on, but he just says it in a creepy way. It doesn't help that the first time he said it, his daughter had just asked me about how breast feeding was going (in not so many words) right before that. I get the distinct feeling that he's also been trying to catch me outside alone again. And he gets entirely too close to my baby when he manages to get near him.

Ugh, ugh, UGH. Please save me from oversexed 80 something year old men with seriously ridiculous delusions. *shiver* Oh well. At least I could knock him down and run away fairly easily.