Letting Go of the Fantasy

At some point in this blog, I discussed how it made me feel to unwrap the "Baby's First Christmas" ornament that my Mom bought preemptively because it was so cute she couldn't resist. I can't find that post, but I do remember mentioning how it felt like such a sham to be putting it on the tree, and how I couldn't fight the surge of resentment I felt as I picked it up.

This year it is remaining tightly in its box, packed away.

Gettin' Smrt

I'VE BEEN OFFICIALLY ACCEPTED INTO THE GRADUATE PROGRAM! Now since they took so long I have to rush all my paperwork.

Go me!

Funny Sh*t

Significant Others: Want to stay out of the doghouse this Holiday season? I suggest you take this warning seriously.

Random Questions and Thoughts

1. I keep reading that diet and exercise are far more successful at improving health than glucophage is.
   
2. WTF? Really? Is this always the case?
   
3. If it is, then I'm a huge failure, because I tried the diet exercise route for a looooooong time.
4. Another team in which I'm interested at work may be having an opening soon.
   
5. I think I may go for it.
6. My team is not getting any better.
7. My blood pressure needs to come down (not literally).
8. Endo says the stress levels need to be reduced.
   
9. I'm all for it.
10. The house is finally decorated.
11. It looks pretty.
12. Hub is sweet. xoxo
    

Back on the Wagon

First of all; can I just say my God it's a beautiful day? This is what Floridians live all summer for. OK, now that I've gotten that out of my system...

The holidays suck for people trying to control their sugar intake. I seem to do well with a moderate amount of white grain and with a pretty high amount of whole grains. This is good since I prefer whole grains anyway. The reason I tried going back to more grains instead of avoiding all carbs is just because I was SO DAMN HUNGRY. I just can't do it. I've lost about 6 more pounds on the Met, and am at my lowest weight since high school. I need to eat what fills me up damn it. And a high protein diet just doesn't cut it. Sugar and raw veggies? They still are bad news for me. The raw veggies are just bad news for my GI tract. Sugar is bad news all around. And I've fallen off the wagon big time in the last couple of weeks.

SO - I went to the endocrinologist today. She was lovely as usual. I had my blood levels done about 3 weeks ago, and it showed that my glucose level is still 97. Healthy is 99 and under. That's good in that I'm not over 99, but she is surprised by that higher level considering my age and weight. She says she should normally see in the 80's for my group (especially on glucophage). I'm not sure why she's surprised since I have PCOS. Maybe my glucose did come down after that, and that's why I ovulated. I don't know. But I do know that I'm hungrier than ever and am in a bad diet rut. It's time to get back on the wagon. I want my body to do well. Honestly, I don't really crave sugar anymore. What I crave is FOOD. Therefore, if I am hungry, and a sugary snack is readily available... you bet I'm going to stuff it in my maw.

Since Hub is trying to lose weight, and I have been a bad girl, we are going to try to keep good foods only in the house again. Christmas cookies? We're giving most of them away. Christmas dinner? We're cooking it ourselves in healthy style.

Is there anything else I can do besides cut down sugar, be on glucophage and be at a good weight to lower glucose levels? I have a sneaking suspicion this is a big part of my ovulation problem (along with all the other big parts. I'm such a friggin mess.).

Botanical Homicide

It's official. I am a plant murderer. My last "air plant" (epiphyte) suffered its painful demise over the past week. I have one tropical plant that has been with me since college that has almost died so many times it must qualify as feline. I'm so thankful to that plant that I get deep anxiety every time I almost kill it. Seriously, what kind of human can't even keep an AIR PLANT alive?

Dear Reproductive System,

Thirteen day luteal phase - not too shabby ovaries! Feeling like my reproductive organs are pushing through my pelvic floor while tendrils of pain lance down my thighs and up my back? Not too pleasant uterus.