I think I've finally jumped the hurdle, crossed the line, found my safe zone. It may be that my hormones are giving me a break, but I think I've also finally just reached the point where I'm happy with who I am flaws and all. I've been dealing with insecurity more and more as I age, but I still would reach lots of crisis points when others surprised me with harsh words. I couldn't deal if I wasn't prepared.
Now, however, I find that the sting from these surprises is less severe and quickly fades. I find that even though I am well aware of my flaws, that I'm ok with them existing and can now even see the good in them. For example, at times I can be defensive, too sensitive, effusive in anger or passion and too verbal. But in turn, I'm also nurturing and empathetic, effusive in praise and affection, well spoken and passionate about making a difference, bettering myself on my terms and supporting causes.
I like me. If someone else doesn't like me despite my best foot forward, oh well. It used to be that I was starving for any love thrown my way. Now I welcome love and praise, but I also have all the love I need right here in my home. Perhaps infertility has helped me prepare for great motherhood after all.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
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9 comments:
I think infertility has prepared us all to be better mothers. Like it or not, infertility teaches life lessons-about fairness, about love, about acceptance, about support, about imperfection. Some people never learn those lessons. I won't say that infertility is a blessing, but blessings can come from it (if that makes sense).
Beautiful post, Barb. I think that the lessons we learn from infertility prepare us for more than we bargained for.
I'm happy that you've jumped the hurdle and fond your safe zone!
Good! You are awesome, so it is time that everyone recognizes that.
Once again, you are right. Infertility isn't something I would have chosen, but I have learned valuable lessons from it.
You sound like you are in a good place. I have been in a good place this week and it feels so nice. Here's to us! (Raising steaming cup of hot chocolate)
I like you too :)
I'm sorry that you've had some unpleasant surprises lately, but I'm glad that you've gotten through them. I had a terrible review a couple of years ago at my job, and it totally threw me - so unexpected. I hate when bosses save everything (real or not) bad up for the year-end, instead of mentioning them when they happen so you can correct them.
And I never did get your e-mail. :(
I think you are the definition of FabuLOUS. So there.
It's crappy that our biggest battles often result in our greatest learning and evolution. I don't wish your struggle with infertility on anyone but I am so thrilled that it's finally taken you to a place of awesomeness.
Finding comfort in our own skin is tough work...some of us never get there.
xox
i like this post. it shows that that you know who you are and accept yourself. liking yourself means you've reached a whole new level that a lot of people can't ever attain. yay you!!!
I like you too.
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