There are many updates to be had today. First off, yes, I am definitely leaning toward a depression phase. I'm fighting it, but there it is. With the ttc trials alone, I often feel as if I am suspended in a giant whirlpool of grief. When I'm bobbing at the top, around the perimeter, things are ok. But just one slip or push, and I swirl dramatically toward the funnel. When I'm angry, I fight the current, but when I'm depressed, I let it carry me away. The worst part is that I never seem to be able to climb onto shore.
The "push" for me this time is work. There are a lot of issues going on management-wise that just make me feel like quitting. And I love my job. I'm one of those people who can say that her profession is her passion. It's very upsetting.
So, you're probably thinking, "On with the updates already lady!" Well - I aim to please.
Thyroid
I have one small nodule on my thyroid. The endo says this is normal in people with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and that we'll keep an eye on it. She hasn't gotten back to me about my TSH levels, but the receptionist seemed to be trying to tell me in I-can't-tell-you-cuz-I'm-a-receptionist code that everything is ok there.
Bloodwork
My second prolactin draw came back only a hair over normal, so he will monitor that as well. Everything else in the marathon miscarriage panel came back ok except for a little wonkiness with a clotting factor. (it was the nurse, so I'm not clear on it) He seems unconcerned with that. I'm thinking I may do the whole baby aspirin thing just to be on the safe side. Anyone have input on that?
Cycle
I had an ultrasound today. My ovaries are doing {big sigh} nothing, and it's cycle day 19. RE gave me the go ahead to start progesterone to bring on my period, but if I start tonight, that brings me perilously close to Christmas as my insemination date. Ah. Whatever. God knows none of us really know what's going to happen with this stuff. Maybe I'll start it tomorrow.
The protocol for next cycle is to up the letrazole dosage on CD3-7 and add an FSH injectible as a booster on cycle days 9, 10 and 11. Then we trigger with Ovidrel when needed and do the IUI. I can't say as I'm too thrilled about more needles (or the cost), but whaddya gonna do? At least we have a direction.
I've also asked them to mail me all they've got on reputable adoption agencies. There are lots of conflicting emotions there, but we'll cover that in a future post.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
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7 comments:
what fsh injection are you going to be doing? i have 4 bravelle's left over.... aspirin a day will not hurt anything. if that makes you feel more calm about it, I'd do it. Alot of peple take an aspirin a day
btw- i am soory that your ovaries are doing nothing right now!!
Sorry about the work thing. I understand that feeling. I dread work these days - and mine too is because of the management. Except, of course, I am the management... hmmmm ;-)
Glad to hear your thyroid is doing ok.
I hvae no input on the baby aspirin. I was taking that for a bit since I had talked to my FIL (a hemoglobin pathologist) and he had told me it wouldn't cause any harm even if it wasn't needed. (FYI it did make AF heavier.) However my first RE acted like I was a *crazy* woman for taking it so I stopped. In retrospect I wish I had asked him WHY he had that reaction...
I'm sorry about your lazy ovaries. I *think* mine finally kicked out an egg... on CD 26 - I'm sure that was a good one! It doesn't matter anyway though b/c of the lap next week we are supposed to avoid. On the bright side at least we didn't waste a "good" cycle. (As if such a thing is possible with us!)
Hey girl. Sorry you are in the whirlpool of despair right now - what a perfect analogy that is. I've been there too. It sucks.
My RE prescribes baby aspirin during the IVF cycle. I took it on some of my break cycles as well - made my AF MUCH worse, but I'm not sure it did much else. Did you ask the RE about it?
Sorry that your ovaries are being stubborn. I also have some leftover Follistim (4 vials of 75 IU), but it's refrigerated...
You girls are seriously the best!! You've made me feel so warm and fuzzy! Thanks for that.
Fertilize Me - You are a sweetheart. He says I can do any BUT the Bravelle. He doesn't like bravelle. So Gonal-F, Follistim or some other like that.
Allison - Thanks so much! Hold that thought just in case. I would pay you to send it and such if I needed it, but I think the nurse is gonna give me a sample they have. What a dearheart she is.
Yoda - Thinking so many good thoughts for you about your lap! If you have any questions, feel free! You'll be a trooper. :) Chuckled at your mgmt comment. ;-)
All of you - Thanks for the aspirin input!! I wanted to do it mainly b/c that one clotting factor was a little high or whatever. It made me concerned. I didn't get to talk to the RE yet b/c I rarely do get to talk to him. It's mostly through the nurse. If she wasn't awesome that would really tick me off. But on the one hand, I'm kinda afraid of what Yoda said.. him acting like I'm crazy. I just want to make sure that all possible difficulties are addressed beforehand ya know? I know you all know.
Thanks again!
I'm sorry you're not ovulating now, sweetie. The work stuff just sucks. I mean, think about how many of your waking hours are there. I hope things get better soon.
Barb, I'm so sorry that the downward spiral of depression is haunting you. It's so tough to fight it particularly when there are multiple things contributing to it. I soooo know where you are with work. I've been battling all year with a love/hate relationship with my job and management and as you know, I'm seriously toying with changing my career path altogether. I dream of handing in my resignation and it's made harder by the fact that DP has just done exactly that. Anyway - sorry - this was meant to be about you, not me. It's so hard to see anything with clarity when you're all consumed by fertility matters.
Thinking loads of egg-y thoughts for you.
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