Send the Love

For my friend Jen, her sweet baby Elizabeth and the two sweet ones not with us, and her lovable husband Matt. I snitched er chose these colored ones because Jen is so determined to stay upbeat. I thought they fit you Jen. Plus they're different and more special which fits too. Head over to her blog to show support. She needs the love and things to read while she waits. I was so hoping the first time was a horrible fluke that would never happen again.
Love,
B, E, R and boys

Note: Image courtesy of this site .

Turn down the heat?

As I lie here covered up in my 73 degree home, I am reminded of all those places I saw it mentioned that 60-65 degrees F is ideal for sleeping. REALLY? Is my thyroid wonky thermostat really THAT off? I'm chilly at 72 unless it's really humid.

One book suggested that 65 might be harder to achieve in warmer months and maybe 70 would be better. Pardon while I guffaw for all Floridians. Even up north we never dropped the heat below 68 at night. (except when I was ridiculously poor, and then it was 58 with a brief glorious rise to 65 for my bath!)

Here it's about 70 for heat in really cold weather and 74 or 75 for ac at night in the summer. I'm curious. What do you find comfortable and pocket book friendly for where you live?

What I Wish I Could Say

• Repeating things other people have said with the conviction that you were actually there or said them yourself and/or stealing others' ideas makes you neither awesome nor smart.
• Just because you do not vocally and obviously take part in the abuse of someone does not mean you are not complicit in the abuse in other ways. Get off your high horse.
• Being frustrated with a situation or wanting to do better and understanding my good fortunes are not mutually exclusive modes of thought.
• Being "tough" and "showing them who's boss" also doesn't always make you awesome. Furthermore, just because I don't agree with that method or choose not to use it does not make me suck.
• Just because you purposely project an aura of "awesome" also does not necessarily mean that is the case. Some of the most humble and understanding people I know are actually pretty damn awesome.
• Taking advantage of my insecurity or willingness to question myself does not mean I am an idiot peon and you a genius of royal blood.
  

And one pet peeve: Sometimes I hate hearing how women need to "stop trying to have it all," and they may be "happier." You know what? Some thrive on juggling work and home. Leave them alone. And in many many situations, women don't have any CHOICE in the matter. I KNOW I'd be a better human with less on my plate. I KNOW I'd do a better job at work with fewer hours and could be less tired and more present for my baby. I simply CAN'T cut back on my hours. I hate when articles etc make it about "choices" (similarly with breast feeding and all the "shocking statistics" on how many don't "exclusively" breast feed) when they know damn well for a huge fraction, there is no real choice at all.

There. I feel so much better. Trying to change my negative self talk and the "doormattishness" that makes it easy for people to beat me down.

Perfect Family Moment

So I love those "Perfect Moment Mondays," and "Friday Night Leftovers." I even sometimes get an urge to write them. The problem is, Wednesdays are my Mondays, and I get the urge then. Saturdays are my Fridays and likewise.

Tonight, I experienced a beautifully perfect moment that I'm capturing regardless.

As I was getting out of the shower, I heard a downpour start. E adores water in any and all of its forms. I shouted out to Hub, "Wow! Big rain!" We hadn't had any in a while. When he didn't answer, I wandered out to the living room to find he and E standing under the porch roof exclaiming over the rain. E's eyes were huge, and he kept looking from us to the wet and pointing excitedly.

When the lightening started, we moved inside. Hub turned off E's bedroom lights so we could better see the water streaming from our porch roof. Daddy sat on one side of a mostly naked little E, and mommy sat on the other as he stood at the window gibbering excitedly. He would turn to each of us frequently, eyes shining as he pointed out this amazing phenomenon. We told him, "Rain!" over and over until he was saying surprisingly well in his high, sweet lilt, "wwwayan." It was such an intimate, warm family moment in the dark room. Hub turned to me and said, "It's wonderful sharing this with the baby, isn't it?"

Words really can't even convey it Hub. Thank you.

Letters to Babybutt

Dear E,

Thank you for teaching me about a humility and compassion that I never new existed. It's hard to experience sometimes, but I feel sorry for some people who can't seem to learn those things no matter what life throws at them.

Love,
M

Support for A-T

Thanks to Farah, I just learned about a debilitating, rare condition in children and one family's determination to find help. Visit http://www.bradenwinks.wordpress.com to learn more and meet this beautiful family.

Lyrics Again

As an angst ridden teenager, I was enamored with poetry. As an adult, you probably have noticed that I am enamored with song lyrics. Music is very important in my life.

Two that have been striking a chord with me lately:

"A face so full of meaning as to almost make it glow" from It's a Good Life if You Don't Weaken by The Tragically Hip. A perennial favorite mentioned a few other times here.

"My darling, my sweetheart, I am in your sway," from Rise to Me by The Decemberists.