Got the call back from the nurse today. My tsh is now up to 3.49 again. Not terrible, no, but certainly not between the 1 and 2 that they want to see. Fourth synthroid increase here I come! I'll find out about the antibodies later in the week.
Too pooped today to post what I really want to. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm loving all your blogs and reader comments! Woo Hoo!!
UPDATE: I got the call today about my thyroid peroxidase (antibodies) test and my thyroglobulin results. Your thyroid peroxidase is supposed to be under 35. Mine is... wait for it.... wait for it.... OVER ONE THOUSAND! I tried to convince them that I should win a prize for that, but they weren't buying it. Thyroglobulin is supposed to be under 20 and mine is 21. I know.. such an underwhelming performance from such an overachiever! Oh well, I guess the 1000 makes up for it. ;-) Hey, if I didn't have a sense of humor, where would I be huh?
So basically, this means that I probably have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which my mother and grandma both have/had. It's an autoimmune disorder in which your body attacks your thyroid. It gets progressively worse over time and causes major problems for ttc, but Dr. B wants me to see an endocrinologist to have the thyroid u/s and get the right treatment. I guess it could be cancer too, but let's look on the bright side shall we? This has been so long term, I imagine it's not. If you could measure the time spent TTC with a meter, I see mine spinning faster and faster for longer and longer. I'm just feeling slightly disheartened. I mean seriously.. pcos, most likely endometriosis, now this? If anyone has words of encouragement from your experiences, feel free to share.
If you have questions about the antibody testing, click here for more info.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Are Doctors Involved Enough?
I went to my clinic to have a blood draw for my regular tsh evaluation today. (I know you're all on the edge of your seats with anticipation. Don't worry, I'll post an update when I get the big news. ;-} ) Anyway, I asked about the thyroid peroxidase test and any other antibody test I might need since I never had those done. (Thanks Lizzy/Sheol. Your research posting is what made me look into it.)
They were kind of shocked that I had never had it done with RE#1 and ordered it right away. I was not surprised and mentioned such to the lab head. I also mentioned how I feel you almost have to be the driver of your own medical care anymore. She somewhat agreed with me, but then expressed the belief that patients have to "step up to the plate," and "take more responsibility for their care." Don't get me wrong. I adore the staff at my office, and she was actually paying me a compliment at the time. However, I somewhat disagree with her statements. Although I like my new doctor a lot and think highly of his skills, I don't exactly feel like an equal partner in this endeavor. I feel more like the ONLY partner. If it weren't for my nurse, I'd wonder if I was even a blip on the radar sometimes. I do think we have to understand our problems the best we can, and do our best to ask insightful questions. However, if I hadn't stumbled on that research paper posting, I wouldn't even really know much about the antibodies and the effect they can have on ttc. Thank God I finally have an RE and staff though that makes it easy for me to ask these questions, and that keeps up with the newest research. With the other one, I always felt dismissed and ignored.
So what do you think? Do you think your doctors are involved enough in your health care? If not, or is so, why? Post your answers in the comments, or feel free to post on your blogs about it. Just let me know so I can read your insightful musings!
P.S. I still welcome any treat ideas for healthy eating! I'm a food hound and need some new things to try! :) (see previous post)
They were kind of shocked that I had never had it done with RE#1 and ordered it right away. I was not surprised and mentioned such to the lab head. I also mentioned how I feel you almost have to be the driver of your own medical care anymore. She somewhat agreed with me, but then expressed the belief that patients have to "step up to the plate," and "take more responsibility for their care." Don't get me wrong. I adore the staff at my office, and she was actually paying me a compliment at the time. However, I somewhat disagree with her statements. Although I like my new doctor a lot and think highly of his skills, I don't exactly feel like an equal partner in this endeavor. I feel more like the ONLY partner. If it weren't for my nurse, I'd wonder if I was even a blip on the radar sometimes. I do think we have to understand our problems the best we can, and do our best to ask insightful questions. However, if I hadn't stumbled on that research paper posting, I wouldn't even really know much about the antibodies and the effect they can have on ttc. Thank God I finally have an RE and staff though that makes it easy for me to ask these questions, and that keeps up with the newest research. With the other one, I always felt dismissed and ignored.
So what do you think? Do you think your doctors are involved enough in your health care? If not, or is so, why? Post your answers in the comments, or feel free to post on your blogs about it. Just let me know so I can read your insightful musings!
P.S. I still welcome any treat ideas for healthy eating! I'm a food hound and need some new things to try! :) (see previous post)
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Food for Thought (and pcos)
DH and I had what is a fantabulous day in my opinion. I had 10 hours of sleep to catch up after my crazy partying at the DMB concert three days ago, and then we pretty much lazed around the house before napping again. The big excitement came when we decided to go to Whole Foods Market. (Yes, I realize I am old before my time.)
I have always teetered on the edge of crunchy (minus the pot), but since being diagnosed with pcos (high lipid levels and all) and possible endometriosis, I have waded deep into granola waters. This was my first visit to Whole Foods, and the experience was all I had dreamed it could be. It's food heaven for people like me. I've been avoiding caffeine, dairy, wheat, sugar, refined grains and hormone-filled and red meats. That is not so very easy in your neighborhood Groceries-R-Us. And if you've seen Ratatouille, you can compare me to Remy in my passion for food. Hubby had to push the cart while I flitted from aisle to aisle, occasionally popping in with some new delight I could actually EAT! His passion equals mine in some ways though, so he found it delightful as well. (If not honey, feel free to comment!)
Because of that passion, I feel for anyone who has to give up beloved foods for health reasons. So, in the hopes that I may be of some help, I'm posting some of my more recent discoveries; the ones that prevent a malted milk ball/pizza/french fry/cookie feeding frenzy. Of course we all know fresh fruits, veggies, and nuts are best for snacking, but here are some of the things that keep me sane.
Odwalla products - Favorites: Chocowalla bar and Vanilla Almond Protein drink (too much soy may be harsh for hypothyroid, so I keep it in check)
Kashi - Favorites: oatmeal/dark chocolate cookies, Almond flax cereal, and honey sesame crackers
Amy's - Favorites: Frozen pesto pizza & vegetable lasagne
Bear Naked Granola - Favorites: Vanilla Almond Crunch low sugar cereal
Terra Chips - Favorites: exotic vegetable chips
Obviously those things do contain some sugars and other "undesirables," but I'm only human and need my vices! If anyone else has some great snack advice to share, please do so in the comments! Maybe I'll compile them in a future post.
I have always teetered on the edge of crunchy (minus the pot), but since being diagnosed with pcos (high lipid levels and all) and possible endometriosis, I have waded deep into granola waters. This was my first visit to Whole Foods, and the experience was all I had dreamed it could be. It's food heaven for people like me. I've been avoiding caffeine, dairy, wheat, sugar, refined grains and hormone-filled and red meats. That is not so very easy in your neighborhood Groceries-R-Us. And if you've seen Ratatouille, you can compare me to Remy in my passion for food. Hubby had to push the cart while I flitted from aisle to aisle, occasionally popping in with some new delight I could actually EAT! His passion equals mine in some ways though, so he found it delightful as well. (If not honey, feel free to comment!)
Because of that passion, I feel for anyone who has to give up beloved foods for health reasons. So, in the hopes that I may be of some help, I'm posting some of my more recent discoveries; the ones that prevent a malted milk ball/pizza/french fry/cookie feeding frenzy. Of course we all know fresh fruits, veggies, and nuts are best for snacking, but here are some of the things that keep me sane.
Odwalla products - Favorites: Chocowalla bar and Vanilla Almond Protein drink (too much soy may be harsh for hypothyroid, so I keep it in check)
Kashi - Favorites: oatmeal/dark chocolate cookies, Almond flax cereal, and honey sesame crackers
Amy's - Favorites: Frozen pesto pizza & vegetable lasagne
Bear Naked Granola - Favorites: Vanilla Almond Crunch low sugar cereal
Terra Chips - Favorites: exotic vegetable chips
Obviously those things do contain some sugars and other "undesirables," but I'm only human and need my vices! If anyone else has some great snack advice to share, please do so in the comments! Maybe I'll compile them in a future post.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
THANK YOU!
I just wanted to send out a huge thank you to Kristen at The Sticky Bean for all her encouragement and information. I really appreciate it! And thanks to everyone for their incredibly warm welcome into this blogging circle. I can't believe how wonderful everyone has been. **Warm fuzzies!**
And I thought I wasn't going to whine in this one...
So.. bad news first because I want to end on a positive note. I started spotting today. Good you say? Hurray for you for finally starting a period you say? Well, actually, I'm still in the beginning of week 3 of my birth control pack. Now let me go on record by saying that I practically begged them not to put me on bcps because my body is never normal on them. But they did as medical staff always does when I tell them that. They patted me on the head and sent me on my way with a brand they were "sure would work," and that was, "good for people with pcos." They also told me that due to scheduling conflicts etc, it's pretty much the only way I could have the lap and have my uterus be in the condition in which they wanted it. (Remember that my cycles are usually 3 mos long with no ovulation.)
The nice thing about it I guess is that at least I'm having breakthrough spotting, and my emotional, libido and physical s/e's that I usually get from bcps are less on this brand. Although my breasts have been tender all month. Ah well. I'll call the office tomorrow so that they're aware. I imagine as long as I'm spotting, it should be no problem. I'll just continue to take this last week in pills and then I'll get a full flow on my withdrawal week and hopefully be all ship shape for the lap. Has anyone else with pcos always had problems when on bcps? I stopped taking them after a while because I just couldn't stand them. If you have had problems, please share! If I didn't have breakthrough bleeding on them (Oh.. and more pills definitely do not stop it for me), I would have longer than usual periods with heavy flow and even more cramping than usual. Joy huh? I'd be well into the next pack before it would finally stop. I guess that's what happens when you have "one hormone blend fits all" style dosing. ;-)
And NOW for the HAPPY THING!
I was originally going to start this post with, "No whining this time, because I have an actual fun thing to post!" But then I had to modify it a little. (insert sheepish grin)
Anyway... I got to see DAVE MATTHEWS BAND LAST NIGHT! Can you tell I was excited? I have wanted to see them live ever since my little heart started fluttering for various rock hunks in my teen years. The difference with DMB is that I loved their music and their talent. I was a bit of a band geek (flute, a little tuba, a little trumpet.. you get the idea), so I adore that they include so many wonderful instruments in their songs.
Enough explanation. I LOVED it. It was raining the whole time, and we were on the lawn, but the amazing cloud to cloud lightening was actually pretty cool. There was a big lightening surge the minute Dave started to sing, and the roaring crowd approved. (It was far away by the time the show started.. just big enough to be awed by.) The band sounded spot on, Dave's voice was just as heavenly live as it is on CD.. probably more so, and I got to sing a lot of my favorite songs along with other DMB fanatics! They also played a lot of stuff from the new album, and I think I like it! I haven't followed them much since Busted Stuff, but I'll have to look around now. My only regrets are that I didn't get a t-shirt and that we realized just how much we aren't teenagers anymore by the fact that even though we totally dug the concert, we were still slightly nostalgic for our beds after being in the rain and out (GASP!) after 11pm!!
By the way, don't think that even though I love DMB for their music, that I don't still find Dave totally hot. He may not be classically handsome, but there's just something about a man that talented with his guitar... and that half grin of his. sigh.
The nice thing about it I guess is that at least I'm having breakthrough spotting, and my emotional, libido and physical s/e's that I usually get from bcps are less on this brand. Although my breasts have been tender all month. Ah well. I'll call the office tomorrow so that they're aware. I imagine as long as I'm spotting, it should be no problem. I'll just continue to take this last week in pills and then I'll get a full flow on my withdrawal week and hopefully be all ship shape for the lap. Has anyone else with pcos always had problems when on bcps? I stopped taking them after a while because I just couldn't stand them. If you have had problems, please share! If I didn't have breakthrough bleeding on them (Oh.. and more pills definitely do not stop it for me), I would have longer than usual periods with heavy flow and even more cramping than usual. Joy huh? I'd be well into the next pack before it would finally stop. I guess that's what happens when you have "one hormone blend fits all" style dosing. ;-)
And NOW for the HAPPY THING!
I was originally going to start this post with, "No whining this time, because I have an actual fun thing to post!" But then I had to modify it a little. (insert sheepish grin)
Anyway... I got to see DAVE MATTHEWS BAND LAST NIGHT! Can you tell I was excited? I have wanted to see them live ever since my little heart started fluttering for various rock hunks in my teen years. The difference with DMB is that I loved their music and their talent. I was a bit of a band geek (flute, a little tuba, a little trumpet.. you get the idea), so I adore that they include so many wonderful instruments in their songs.
Enough explanation. I LOVED it. It was raining the whole time, and we were on the lawn, but the amazing cloud to cloud lightening was actually pretty cool. There was a big lightening surge the minute Dave started to sing, and the roaring crowd approved. (It was far away by the time the show started.. just big enough to be awed by.) The band sounded spot on, Dave's voice was just as heavenly live as it is on CD.. probably more so, and I got to sing a lot of my favorite songs along with other DMB fanatics! They also played a lot of stuff from the new album, and I think I like it! I haven't followed them much since Busted Stuff, but I'll have to look around now. My only regrets are that I didn't get a t-shirt and that we realized just how much we aren't teenagers anymore by the fact that even though we totally dug the concert, we were still slightly nostalgic for our beds after being in the rain and out (GASP!) after 11pm!!
By the way, don't think that even though I love DMB for their music, that I don't still find Dave totally hot.
Monday, September 10, 2007
My Story
This is going to be very long, so here's the shortlist for those who'd like the crash course.
We've been TTC for about 20 mos. I've ovulated 7 times in that span.
Problems: PCOS and hypothyroid with possible endometriosis
TREATMENTS:
Progesterone- Oral and shot to induce period many times. Suppository to support luteal phase.
Clomid - 4 rounds - all negative
acupuncture/herbs - no idea if they would have helped. Had to stop because of $$.
Femara/trigger/IUI - Chemical bfp (early miscarriage)
Femara only - bfn (big fat negative)
2nd Femara/trigger/IUI - bfn
TESTS:
LOTS of bloodwork - mainly hypothyroid
Two Hour Glucose Tolerance Test - No obvious insulin resistance
Endometrial Biopsy - all clear
Semen analysis - decent
HSG - Tubes all clear
Laparoscopy/hysteroscopy - pending
So... no more suspense. Here's my story...
My DH (Dear Husband) and I wanted to start TTC (trying to conceive) earlier than we did, but finances and job situations deemed that we wait. All my life I've been pretty sure I would have a difficult time. My cycles have never been normal in any sense of the word, and my family's reproductive history was not encouraging. Still, I believe that I thought it would all end up ok in the end.
I did however, try for 6 years to get doctors to help me figure out what was wrong. I had very long cycles, extreme fatigue often accompanied by depression and anxiety, painful, heavy periods and adult acne. They did agree to run some tests. However, their ignorance of what was normal led them to declare me "perfectly healthy" and to suggest that maybe I had SAD or something. The obgyn simply declared that bcps would fix me right up and that I should just stay on those despite my conception concerns. One of them said, "We'll worry about that when you try to conceive." Um. Ok. I still have a lot of anger about all that.
We started trying soon after I turned 28 and DH turned 30. We had been pretty careless with the birth control even before that, but we decided to get serious at that time. At first it was exhilarating! Maybe we created a life this time! No conception worries! Woo Hoo! Why I thought it would be that easy, I have no idea.
I found a popular charting website and decided to start charting my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) to determine if I was ever ovulating in my 2 and 3 month cycles. According to the software and all my physical signs, I was not. Based on this information and 6 months of trying, I went to my obgyn. She recommended waiting "just a little longer," to do anything even though I was on something like CD (cycle day) 72. That didn't cut it for very long with me. After some pushing, she decided to do some preliminary bloodwork and a "clomid challenge trial."
I took clomiphene citrate CD5-7 and waited to ovulate. If you want to know the details of clomid, a google search will work wonders, but in short, it induces ovulation by blocking estrogen receptors. She gave me NO warning of its side effects and possible dangers, and the accompanying drug info was very deceptive as well. I thought I was losing my mind! It played with my mental health so completely that I didn't know up from down. I also experienced intense cramping and tenderness in my reproductive organs, headaches, breast tenderness, frequent urination, nausea, dizziness, chest heaviness, interruption in sleep patterns, night sweats, hot flashes and intense thirst and hunger throughout the entire cycle. Her answer to this was that I was probably a little "hypoglycemic, catching a cold, and too stressed out from charting." I never went back to her again. I then found a very wonderful obgyn (Dr. P), who did his best to help me on 3 more hellish clomid rounds (one in which I almost fainted from the cramping pain which the nurse said was normal), but admitted in the end that he was out of his league with me and referred me to an RE. Lesson learned. Obgyns who say they "specialize" in infertility generally just "specialize" in prescribing clomid and running a few basic tests.
I waited 3 mos to get into the first RE. We'll call him Dr. #1. In the meantime, I began doing acupuncture and taking herbs with a wonderful Chinese Doctor. To this day, she remains the only doctor who has really seemed to care about me as an individual. Unfortunately I had to stop due to money constraints.
Dr. #1 was ok, but my personality didn't seem to jive with his. He diagnosed me with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). FINALLY! Some answers! He also ran a PCOS bloodwork panel (more needles and tests) and performed an endometrial biopsy to make sure my thick lining (3 months worth) did not show any signs of hyperplasia. I was all clear, but I had a very difficult time post-procedure. It was a full month of bleeding and pain in which I had to take multiple days off work. I did not agree with how they tried to treat the problem (my acupuncturist helped me with herbs), so got a referral to a different RE in the area. (Dr. #2). It only took a few weeks to get in to see him. I had done some research on hypothyroid by this point, and knew that I fell into the "new" (now YEARS old) guidelines for hypothyroidism since I hovered around 5. I had suspected it for a long time due to my symptoms and family history (Mom AND Grandma), but many (6 actually) had declared it to be normal. I came into the office armed to the teeth with information to prove my point, but he shocked me by putting me on synthroid right away! This office was lovely, and I was finally satisfied. :) (I felt a bit like Goldilocks by this point.)
Next, we did an HSG which showed completely clear tubes. The HSG was really cool to see because you get to see all your reproductive organs up there on the screen as the dye travels through them. I was fascinated. Shortly after that we tried our first Femara cycle with hcg trigger and an IUI (intrauterine insertion). Femara proved MUCH gentler on my body than clomid, and I still had 2 good follicles to release. The hcg trigger wasn't as fun as it's a shot you give yourself, and I had some fun side effects from it, but that was very temporary. The IUI felt very uncomfortable and impersonal. HOWEVER - success for the first time ever! We got a bfp (big fat positive) that cycle. Sadly, it ended in a very early miscarriage.
Before this happened I had been on a sort of depression roller coaster. After the miscarriage, I began to get angry... very very angry. It got especially bad after a Femara/intercourse only cycle, and another failed IUI. I'm still in that angry phase, but it's starting to ease up some as we take this next step.
In the meantime, I finally go to an office where I'm very happy with how the nurses, receptionist and phlebotamist treats me. I like the doctor, but see him rarely. My TSH is now around 2.9 and falling, and I have more energy than I have had in over 6 years. It feels amazing. It's like a new lease on life. No more sleeping for 10-12 hrs, then napping after breakfast, then napping after lunch, only to go to bed early again that night! I don't think I could EVER go back to that total exhaustion.
Now on to the lap. :-P
FCIF
We've been TTC for about 20 mos. I've ovulated 7 times in that span.
Problems: PCOS and hypothyroid with possible endometriosis
TREATMENTS:
Progesterone- Oral and shot to induce period many times. Suppository to support luteal phase.
Clomid - 4 rounds - all negative
acupuncture/herbs - no idea if they would have helped. Had to stop because of $$.
Femara/trigger/IUI - Chemical bfp (early miscarriage)
Femara only - bfn (big fat negative)
2nd Femara/trigger/IUI - bfn
TESTS:
LOTS of bloodwork - mainly hypothyroid
Two Hour Glucose Tolerance Test - No obvious insulin resistance
Endometrial Biopsy - all clear
Semen analysis - decent
HSG - Tubes all clear
Laparoscopy/hysteroscopy - pending
So... no more suspense. Here's my story...
My DH (Dear Husband) and I wanted to start TTC (trying to conceive) earlier than we did, but finances and job situations deemed that we wait. All my life I've been pretty sure I would have a difficult time. My cycles have never been normal in any sense of the word, and my family's reproductive history was not encouraging. Still, I believe that I thought it would all end up ok in the end.
I did however, try for 6 years to get doctors to help me figure out what was wrong. I had very long cycles, extreme fatigue often accompanied by depression and anxiety, painful, heavy periods and adult acne. They did agree to run some tests. However, their ignorance of what was normal led them to declare me "perfectly healthy" and to suggest that maybe I had SAD or something. The obgyn simply declared that bcps would fix me right up and that I should just stay on those despite my conception concerns. One of them said, "We'll worry about that when you try to conceive." Um. Ok. I still have a lot of anger about all that.
We started trying soon after I turned 28 and DH turned 30. We had been pretty careless with the birth control even before that, but we decided to get serious at that time. At first it was exhilarating! Maybe we created a life this time! No conception worries! Woo Hoo! Why I thought it would be that easy, I have no idea.
I found a popular charting website and decided to start charting my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) to determine if I was ever ovulating in my 2 and 3 month cycles. According to the software and all my physical signs, I was not. Based on this information and 6 months of trying, I went to my obgyn. She recommended waiting "just a little longer," to do anything even though I was on something like CD (cycle day) 72. That didn't cut it for very long with me. After some pushing, she decided to do some preliminary bloodwork and a "clomid challenge trial."
I took clomiphene citrate CD5-7 and waited to ovulate. If you want to know the details of clomid, a google search will work wonders, but in short, it induces ovulation by blocking estrogen receptors. She gave me NO warning of its side effects and possible dangers, and the accompanying drug info was very deceptive as well. I thought I was losing my mind! It played with my mental health so completely that I didn't know up from down. I also experienced intense cramping and tenderness in my reproductive organs, headaches, breast tenderness, frequent urination, nausea, dizziness, chest heaviness, interruption in sleep patterns, night sweats, hot flashes and intense thirst and hunger throughout the entire cycle. Her answer to this was that I was probably a little "hypoglycemic, catching a cold, and too stressed out from charting." I never went back to her again. I then found a very wonderful obgyn (Dr. P), who did his best to help me on 3 more hellish clomid rounds (one in which I almost fainted from the cramping pain which the nurse said was normal), but admitted in the end that he was out of his league with me and referred me to an RE. Lesson learned. Obgyns who say they "specialize" in infertility generally just "specialize" in prescribing clomid and running a few basic tests.
I waited 3 mos to get into the first RE. We'll call him Dr. #1. In the meantime, I began doing acupuncture and taking herbs with a wonderful Chinese Doctor. To this day, she remains the only doctor who has really seemed to care about me as an individual. Unfortunately I had to stop due to money constraints.
Dr. #1 was ok, but my personality didn't seem to jive with his. He diagnosed me with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). FINALLY! Some answers! He also ran a PCOS bloodwork panel (more needles and tests) and performed an endometrial biopsy to make sure my thick lining (3 months worth) did not show any signs of hyperplasia. I was all clear, but I had a very difficult time post-procedure. It was a full month of bleeding and pain in which I had to take multiple days off work. I did not agree with how they tried to treat the problem (my acupuncturist helped me with herbs), so got a referral to a different RE in the area. (Dr. #2). It only took a few weeks to get in to see him. I had done some research on hypothyroid by this point, and knew that I fell into the "new" (now YEARS old) guidelines for hypothyroidism since I hovered around 5. I had suspected it for a long time due to my symptoms and family history (Mom AND Grandma), but many (6 actually) had declared it to be normal. I came into the office armed to the teeth with information to prove my point, but he shocked me by putting me on synthroid right away! This office was lovely, and I was finally satisfied. :) (I felt a bit like Goldilocks by this point.)
Next, we did an HSG which showed completely clear tubes. The HSG was really cool to see because you get to see all your reproductive organs up there on the screen as the dye travels through them. I was fascinated. Shortly after that we tried our first Femara cycle with hcg trigger and an IUI (intrauterine insertion). Femara proved MUCH gentler on my body than clomid, and I still had 2 good follicles to release. The hcg trigger wasn't as fun as it's a shot you give yourself, and I had some fun side effects from it, but that was very temporary. The IUI felt very uncomfortable and impersonal. HOWEVER - success for the first time ever! We got a bfp (big fat positive) that cycle. Sadly, it ended in a very early miscarriage.
Before this happened I had been on a sort of depression roller coaster. After the miscarriage, I began to get angry... very very angry. It got especially bad after a Femara/intercourse only cycle, and another failed IUI. I'm still in that angry phase, but it's starting to ease up some as we take this next step.
In the meantime, I finally go to an office where I'm very happy with how the nurses, receptionist and phlebotamist treats me. I like the doctor, but see him rarely. My TSH is now around 2.9 and falling, and I have more energy than I have had in over 6 years. It feels amazing. It's like a new lease on life. No more sleeping for 10-12 hrs, then napping after breakfast, then napping after lunch, only to go to bed early again that night! I don't think I could EVER go back to that total exhaustion.
Now on to the lap. :-P
FCIF
It's Official
It's official. My laparoscopy/hysteroscopy is scheduled for October 5th. Two days before my 30th birthday. How joyful is that? So much for my lifelong ambition to have kids in my arms before 30. I have a pre-op consult for October 4th. "Pre-op." It just sounds so weird. I know this is considered to be a pretty basic, "easy" surgery, but it scares the crap out of me at times. Sometimes I want to back out. It makes it harder when I have to wait so long too.
I'm scared for lots of reasons; some strange, some reasonable. I'm scared because we are responsible for $1500 of this procedure, and we're already struggling from the other treatments and dealing with a new house. I'm scared of the anesthesia. I'm scared that he'll find TONS of endometriosis. I'm also scared that he'll find NONE, and that means that I'm doomed to painful periods, and just random pain in that area for the rest of my life with no explanation. I guess it would also mean no hope from this procedure with nothing else on which to pin our lack of success.
Don't get me wrong. I do not WANT endometriosis. But at the same time, I have many of the symptoms, so I guess I just want answers as to why I have them. I hope you all understand my crazy reasoning. (is that an oxymoron? ;-) )
I'm also not happy to languish on birth control pills (bcps for those in the know) for a month or so while I wait. sigh.
No worries. In my next post I'll update you on all that we've done so far, so that I'm not such an enigma. Although, being an enigma does sound all cool and sexy. ;-)
I'm scared for lots of reasons; some strange, some reasonable. I'm scared because we are responsible for $1500 of this procedure, and we're already struggling from the other treatments and dealing with a new house. I'm scared of the anesthesia. I'm scared that he'll find TONS of endometriosis. I'm also scared that he'll find NONE, and that means that I'm doomed to painful periods, and just random pain in that area for the rest of my life with no explanation. I guess it would also mean no hope from this procedure with nothing else on which to pin our lack of success.
Don't get me wrong. I do not WANT endometriosis. But at the same time, I have many of the symptoms, so I guess I just want answers as to why I have them. I hope you all understand my crazy reasoning. (is that an oxymoron? ;-) )
I'm also not happy to languish on birth control pills (bcps for those in the know) for a month or so while I wait. sigh.
No worries. In my next post I'll update you on all that we've done so far, so that I'm not such an enigma. Although, being an enigma does sound all cool and sexy. ;-)
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